Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Event Reminder: Monday, January 4th
On a very special Wrestling Night, Slater learns an important lesson about Johnny Dakota and Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills while Zack and Lisa drive home drunk from a toga party.
Also, I'm going to watch an episode of RAW!
It's THE MONDAY NIGHT WARS II: HOGAN'S REVENGE
With Total Nonstop Action Wrestling running their first live, head to head Monday night show, it's a big evening of grappling action. Hulk Hogan makes his first TNA appearance, small guys do flips, etc, etc, etc. Should be entertaining, if only in a car wreck way. Starts at 8:00!
Now, on the other hand, RAW looks to have BRET HART as its guest host.
If you're going to watch one night of wrestletainment this year, make it this night!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
A Slice of Life
The Players
Me (In the kitchen, putting away dishes.)
My 5 year old niece Katherine (Standing by the front door, talking to me from afar)
Me: Hey, do you want to come in here and keep me company while I clean up the kitchen?
Katherine: Nah.
TA-DA! Five year olds!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Go, Diego, Go!
I knew that BJ Penn was a better fighter, and that he was going to win. But I really thought that of all the guys in the 155-pound weight class, Diego Sanchez had the best chance of giving him a run for his money. WRONG.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Totally, dude
I'm about 200 pages into Jonathan Snowden's history book Total MMA and dear lord, I wish I could marry it and produce fine, strong fighting progeny. This book RULES.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Had to write this down for posterity.
I'm watching Ed Wood with Adam and Annie. When George "The Animal" Steele appeared on screen, Annie said, "Isn't that the guy who's name is Joe... the Steam Engine... Blow? Awesome.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The New Sheep
Some people picture sheep jumping over a fence when trying to fall asleep. It's a nice, repetitive image that many find soothing. For some reason, I picture myself in a wrestling ring, running the ropes and repeatedly ducking clotheslines.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Progress
Progress, as it turns out, can be completely subjective. What one person considers a triumph can be seen as rather insignificant to another. Maybe it would be another story were they living it. I'm not sure what to do now. Any other definition of progress at this point in time eludes me, and maybe baby steps are all I'll ever have. What is that worth?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
V is for... V, I guess
Elizabeth Mitchell of Lost and now V fame. Very pretty woman, not believable as a human being. Unfortunately, that's what she's playing on V.
I can't recall the last time a show actually got worse from the pilot to the second episode, but here it is. V gets fifteen million viewers and Eastwick gets canceled. Thanks, TV!
I can't recall the last time a show actually got worse from the pilot to the second episode, but here it is. V gets fifteen million viewers and Eastwick gets canceled. Thanks, TV!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Eastwick Down
I never see the first cancellation of the season coming. At least, the first one that matters to me. :( I loved you, Eastwick. Perhaps too well.
In other news, teenage cheerleader sex comedy Fired Up sucks. I should know, because I'm watching it right now. The convenience of Starz on Demand is truly a double edged sword of cinema.
In other news, teenage cheerleader sex comedy Fired Up sucks. I should know, because I'm watching it right now. The convenience of Starz on Demand is truly a double edged sword of cinema.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
FAME
Adam and I are going to get Famous Buckets from KFC. Yes, I am drunk and have been listening to Patton Oswalt. WHAT NOW, JERKS?
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Sharp Shooter
I hope he doesn't mind me mentioning this in a semi-public forum, but I just wanted to send some good thoughts Jason's way. He's having some real bad neck and shoulder problems lately and actually just found out he's suffering from bulging discs as well as spinal stenosis, a narrowing of the spinal canal that compresses the very sensitive nerves of the spinal cord. Nothing definite yet as far as treatment, but surgery is looking likely. He's been in a lot of pain these past couple weeks and has actually had to postpone two trips to Columbus due to his inability to drive long distances. He missed his first Halloween Movie Marathon in six years and was not too happy about it.
If anyone would like to drop him an E-mail or give him a call, I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you. Just E-mail or call me if you don't have contact information for Jason.
If anyone would like to drop him an E-mail or give him a call, I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you. Just E-mail or call me if you don't have contact information for Jason.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
My Life, this week
I'm re-reading Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead and I guess the last time I went through he was only up to issue 50, because I've made it to some new ground, and the story is really picking up again. There finally seems to be some sort of direction to things after getting mired for a good couple of years in the prison setting. It's a really great concept for an ongoing television series and I'm very pleased to see that AMC picked it up.
Cousin Annie had her wisdom teeth removed on Wednesday, which will lay her up for the rest of the week. I'm going to visit her tomorrow after class, watch a little Angel, you know how I roll.
Friday is Davekwon's 12th annual Halloween Movie Marathon. Or 11th. One or the other. Either way, it's one of my favorite days of the year and I'm very much looking forward to hearing all the laughable Busta Rhymes dialogue I can shake a stick at.
I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I must be well rested because there's a possibility I'll have to shoot on Fern in the near future.
Cousin Annie had her wisdom teeth removed on Wednesday, which will lay her up for the rest of the week. I'm going to visit her tomorrow after class, watch a little Angel, you know how I roll.
Friday is Davekwon's 12th annual Halloween Movie Marathon. Or 11th. One or the other. Either way, it's one of my favorite days of the year and I'm very much looking forward to hearing all the laughable Busta Rhymes dialogue I can shake a stick at.
I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I must be well rested because there's a possibility I'll have to shoot on Fern in the near future.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
All Kinds of Time
I thought that once I got this laptop I'd be blogging more often. More convenient, can write from my bedroom, etc. But I find that I have absolutely nothing to say these days. I'll try harder.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Big Time
If you want to check out my first WWE Superstars recap, it's up at WrestlingObserver.com
Hopefully this leads to me eventually creating my own wrestling news empire and crushing the Observer and Figure Four under my heel.
Hopefully this leads to me eventually creating my own wrestling news empire and crushing the Observer and Figure Four under my heel.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Lucas: Moment of Truth
I went to see Zombieland with my boy Lucas on Friday afternoon. It ruled. What else can be said? It ruled hard. Emma Stone is the new Amy Smart in terms of babes who I see at the beginning of a movie (Superbad, The House Bunny) and say, "Yeah, she's cute" but by the end I'm gnawing off my hand at the hotness. Not because I'm a zombie.
We went back to his apartment, where Lucas fed me beef stew and suggested we find some wrestling to watch on Netflix. FAMOUS LAST WORDS. After suffering through about twenty-five minutes of some sort of horrendous backyard wrestling that we couldn't wrap our brains around, we switched to...
This was not the worst movie I've ever seen. This wasn't even the worst wrestling movie I've ever seen. One of these days I need to take all of the wrestling movies I've watched and rate them because it really is a terrible, terrible genre. Anyway, this was one of those movies where time seemed to cease to exist. I'm actually a big fan of Sting, and he was the best actor in his own movie, but that is saying very, very little. Like, so little that I probably shouldn't even have mentioned it. I can't hate this as much as Ready to Rumble though, because that movie very clearly despised its own target audience, something I will never understand. You make a movie about wrestling and use it to insult wrestling fans. And it bombed? Shocking. Sting: Moment of Truth sucks, but at least it felt like a genuine labor of love. Maybe with a budget, and real actors, and a halfway decent screenwriter this could have been something. The life story of a professional wrestler, especially a high level one, is great fodder for a potential motion picture. This just didn't get it done.
Broin' Down on Tuesday, by the way!
We went back to his apartment, where Lucas fed me beef stew and suggested we find some wrestling to watch on Netflix. FAMOUS LAST WORDS. After suffering through about twenty-five minutes of some sort of horrendous backyard wrestling that we couldn't wrap our brains around, we switched to...
This was not the worst movie I've ever seen. This wasn't even the worst wrestling movie I've ever seen. One of these days I need to take all of the wrestling movies I've watched and rate them because it really is a terrible, terrible genre. Anyway, this was one of those movies where time seemed to cease to exist. I'm actually a big fan of Sting, and he was the best actor in his own movie, but that is saying very, very little. Like, so little that I probably shouldn't even have mentioned it. I can't hate this as much as Ready to Rumble though, because that movie very clearly despised its own target audience, something I will never understand. You make a movie about wrestling and use it to insult wrestling fans. And it bombed? Shocking. Sting: Moment of Truth sucks, but at least it felt like a genuine labor of love. Maybe with a budget, and real actors, and a halfway decent screenwriter this could have been something. The life story of a professional wrestler, especially a high level one, is great fodder for a potential motion picture. This just didn't get it done.
Broin' Down on Tuesday, by the way!
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Failin' Edwards + Less Talk, More Pazaak!
Braylon Edwards was traded to the Jets today. No further details known at this moment, but even if it was for a stick of gum, the Browns made out. Also... LESS TALK, MORE PAZAAK!
WOOOOO PAZAAK!
WOOOOO PAZAAK!
Saturday, October 03, 2009
It Was Only a Matter of Time
I finally took the time to make a Sporcle quiz. Note the dates when you're filling this in and see just how insane that end period of WCW was with so many title switches.
http://www.sporcle.com/games/NapDaddy/WCWHWchamps
http://www.sporcle.com/games/NapDaddy/WCWHWchamps
Friday, October 02, 2009
NapDaddy's Smiletime Workrate Report for Smackdown! October 2nd, 2009
Ten years of Smackdown! Just crazy.
WHAT WORKED
Highlight package to open. Eddy Guerrero, Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s appearance, The Rock, John Cena’s debut against Kurt Angle, Batista forfeiting the title due to injury, the post-9/11 episode, parts of which still make me sick, Austin dropping a wrecking ball on the DX Express bus! Rey jumping off the top of the cage onto Lance Storm and Christian! John Cena rapping, Eric Bischoff macking on Stephanie, JOHN HEIDENREICH RAPING MICHAEL COLE. Austin, Kurt, and Vince wearing cowboy hats! Vickie and Edge getting married, Eric Bischoff peeling off his latex mask from the Billy and Chuck wedding, Coach doing the Charleston! Hogan sucking all the air out of the room, AUSTIN SINGING Kumbaya TO VINCE! And subsequently smashing him over the head with a guitar. KABONG! Eddy spraying Big Show with a septic hose, the grocery store fight between Austin and Booker T, Rhyno GOREing Chris Jericho through the Smackdown! logo atop the ramp, Jeff Hardy celebrating his first world title win, THE TIME BROCK SUPERPLEXED THE BIG SHOW AND THE RING BROKE! CM Punk, Edge, Undertaker, and… huh, that’s it. A bit of an anticlimactic end, but a great retrospective video package to kick off this show.
New opening. Slight improvement in the song, but I like the video a lot better, so I’ll put it up here on the top half of the ledger.
Jim Ross qualifying the gravity of the main event by stating that it’s the “biggest eight man tag in the history of Smackdown! was hilarious to me for some reason. I can’t think of a bigger one off the top of my head, but I’m not sure WWE, or any promotion for that matter, is really known for their tag team matches featuring eight participants.
Ross and Todd Grisham open things up inside the ring and invite us to take a look backstage at the Anniversary party! I see a blonde, a brunette, another blonde, Sergeant Slaughter, one of the twins, Mark Henry, KUNG FU NAKI, Fit Finlay, Michael Cole, the Brooklyn Brawler, and Hornswooggle bartending. Also, there is a giant cake with an X on it, so it’s either poison or there’s treasure buried in it.
Batista’s music plays and I’m in a good mood. So good a mood I’m starting to wonder if there will be anything annoys me enough to place it below the ol’ Mendoza line tonight.
Oh Jesus, it’s Kane. This is the opening match of your tenth anniversary show? Couldn’t find Gene Snitsky on such short notice? Big Dave takes really good bumps for such an enormous human being. One minute in and I’m enjoying this. It must be the antidepressants. It’s the only explanation. Nevermind. Kane is working the arm. This is not so good anymore. We take a commercial break as Batista dumps Kane out of the ring. Wow. Back from break and it’s more armlockery from Kane. DOUBLE BIG BOOT! This entire match gets a pass now. That RULED. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen more whip reversals in such a short span of time. Kane hits his top rope clothesline and it looks halfway decent. Guess that was the one time out of twenty. Kane goes for the ten punch spot in the corner against a wrestler who uses a power bomb as his finisher, so he’s a complete idiot. Big Dave counters with said power bomb, and that’s a wrap. I remember nothing but the big boot spot, and it was killer goofiness.
Backstage again for more of the party. Teddy Long has arrived, and he is warmly greeted by the Hart Dynasty because he’s a bad guy now. Beth Phoenix, a black chick, a blonde, Chavo Guerrero in a Brawny Paper Towel Guy shirt, an Asian girl, the Brookyln Brawler again (who’s he blowing? Oh, right.), Maria, who looks more and more like an anime character every time I see her lately. Hornswoggle gives her a good swat on the rump and she’s completely charmed by this blatant sexual harassment. Well fellas, I guess if you ever meet Maria in person, you’ve got the all-clear. Michael Cole redeems much of his career by excitedly declaring this to be “Vintage Hornswoggle! There he goes, around the bar!” and then sharing a cool guy handshake with Teddy. Michael Cole was the man in this segment. Finlay uses the power of peer pressure to get Teddy to drink an Irish whiskey with him, then makes a toast. CM PUNK places his hand over Teddy’s shot glass because of the whole straightedge thing, provoking another “Vintage!” from Cole. Punk declares PROHIBITION RULES for Smackdown! as long as he’s champion. I need to see skits based around this concept. Vickie Guerrero says “Excuse me” and I fall in love all over again. Vickie doesn’t like the way the ship’s being run lately, but she’s mostly there to introduce her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. Santino arrives and isn’t funny. What has happened to him? Still, awesome segment.
More at the party, and the “vintage” thing is wearing on me already. Zack Ryder is trying to get into the VIP section with Mark Henry, MVP and the other twin. They let Matt Hardy and Kelly Kelly in. Then more Divas and… Charlie Haas wearing a sweatshirt. What a terrible VIP room. SHEIKY BABY ARRIVES AND SAVES THE SEGMENT! He calls Ryder a MEAN NAME.
Eddy Guerrero video package. I can’t really review a tribute, but suffice to say that they used a bad song, as usual. Great footage of course.
It’s been almost four years. It’s still really painful sometimes.
Jack Swagger is sitting at the commentary table. The man has the personality of Formica. What is that joke from? It just popped into my head, but I know it’s from something else. Thankfully, Jack is on commentary for what should be quite good. Kofi Kingston and John Morrison versus The Miz and Dolph Ziggler. Kofi is announced as being from Ghana, West Africa? WHAT? Since when is he not from fake Jamaica? Has there been some kind of RAW storyline about birth certificates that I’m not privy to? This weirds me out. Anyway, Miz and Morrison are taking on one another for the first time since they broke up to my knowledge. They start off together. Kofi hits a strange flapjack into a European uppercut kind of thing and I think it didn’t come off exactly as he planned. There’s actually not a whole lot to say about this match, Just a solid, basic tag team match. The commentators, Ross in particular, is really pushing the Ziggler/Morrison match for Hell in a Cell as a big deal, so it looks like those two are being counted on to deliver. Ziggler wins with his move, the ZIG ZAG.
HOLY CRAP YOSHI TATSU AND KUNG FU NAKI ARE SINGING A KARAOKE VERSION OF SEXY BOY AT THE PARTY. This is the greatest show I’ve ever seen. Jillian Hall ruins it. Slaughter, Sheiky and Hurricane do comedy. Michael Cole is getting more and more plastered. Angry Amish Big Show and Jericho arrive looking dapper. Cole pukes on Jericho’s shoes as Chris makes goofy faces. Joey Styles has a cameo. This thing went downhill fast, but nothing will ever top Yoshi and Fu Naki being rad together.
The Rock cuts a promo. Seriously. Taped from his home in front of his awesome trophy case, The Rock shows dorks how it’s done. I have no way to explain this. It just needs to be seen. He was so amazing. He also buried Dolph Ziggler, CM Punk, snuck in the word “ass” and promoted the main event at the pay per view better than anyone in the company. I am still in awe of this man.
The DX music plays, questioning our preparedness. Wow. The ring announcer is even being forced to introduce the main event as the biggest eight man tag in Smackdown! history. Five ring entrances between eight participants and I feel like I’ve been watching people walk to the ring for about an hour. We finally get underway with John Cena and Cody Rhodes. Cena’s working the arm, clearly scouting the tactics of technical wizard Kane. Cena tags in Hunter, and Cody tags in Ted DiBiase. They brawl in the corner with Hunter getting the better of it and he goes to the arm as well. I wonder if he can tell the difference between Rhodes and DiBiase. Hunter tags Shawn, who comes in and throws one of his really horrible chops. Seriously, the guy does one thing badly, and he does it in every match. Shawn and Undertaker share a moment, Undertaker blind tags himself in, and he and Shawn stare one another down. COME ON, GUYS! I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BROTHERS. Shawn with another chop after the commercial break, and Cody Rhodes clearly knows it sucks, as he immediately cuts Shawn off and goes on offense. Orton is finally tagged in and the arena buzzes for a big star. He’s really just got something right now. Punk tags in and he’s back to yellow gear. Good stuff. Shawn sells a beating like only Shawn Michaels can and this match is really fun. Orton uses his Headlock of Doom while Legacy calls for Shawn to tap out to it. As if. Shawn suplexes out of the hold and makes an agonizing crawl for his corner. Cody almost stops him but Shawn enzuigiris him, tags Cena, and John is a house of fire! Protoplex, Five Knuckle Shuffle, DiBiase cuts off the F-U attempt, and Cena gets hit with a high/low combo! Commercial break! I LOVE THIS MATCH! Back from the break and Punk and Orton are working over Cena with delicious glee. The glaze over Cena’s eyes as he reaches hopelessly towards his corner for the tag is a thing of beauty. DiBiase cuts off a Cena comeback with an awesome clothesline. I rewound it three times. It ruled. Both men down after a Cena suplex and John needs to make a tag. DiBiase tags Punk, Cena tags Hunter, and I think this is the first time they’ve worked together. Hunter beats him down with lots of knee based offense, as usual. And here comes Undertaker, at which point, Punk bails, leaving Randy Orton to be killed. Snake Eyes, running high kick, and this is getting too hectic to call. Finishers all over the place, and Orton is all by himself with the four babyfaces. Undertaker annihilates him with a Tombstone and that‘s all she wrote.
I loved this show. You can really only do them like this every so often, but I’d be totally fine with another in five years.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
As if to answer my question about if I’d have anything negative to say about this show, we get a video feature before Big Dave’s opponent comes out. It’s from December 16th, 2005, when Batista and Rey Mysterio teamed up to defeat MNM for the World Tag Team Titles. Nothing like reminding me via the announce team of the horrible Eddy Guerrero exploitation period. “Rey’s getting help from Eddy!” No, Eddy’s dead, Tazz. Sorry.
Eight million Divas surround the ring for a lumberjill match between Melina and Michelle McCool. This was absolutely nothing. Michelle wins quickly with the FAITH BREAKER.
Undertaker’s going to knock CM Punk from the black horse of self righteousness. For real. He just told me. Next.
Another party segment, and there’s wacky dancing going on to absolutely no music. Drew McIntyre takes center stage and proposes a toast to himself. He is jumped by R-Truth. They fall into the cake. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
WHAT WORKED
Highlight package to open. Eddy Guerrero, Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s appearance, The Rock, John Cena’s debut against Kurt Angle, Batista forfeiting the title due to injury, the post-9/11 episode, parts of which still make me sick, Austin dropping a wrecking ball on the DX Express bus! Rey jumping off the top of the cage onto Lance Storm and Christian! John Cena rapping, Eric Bischoff macking on Stephanie, JOHN HEIDENREICH RAPING MICHAEL COLE. Austin, Kurt, and Vince wearing cowboy hats! Vickie and Edge getting married, Eric Bischoff peeling off his latex mask from the Billy and Chuck wedding, Coach doing the Charleston! Hogan sucking all the air out of the room, AUSTIN SINGING Kumbaya TO VINCE! And subsequently smashing him over the head with a guitar. KABONG! Eddy spraying Big Show with a septic hose, the grocery store fight between Austin and Booker T, Rhyno GOREing Chris Jericho through the Smackdown! logo atop the ramp, Jeff Hardy celebrating his first world title win, THE TIME BROCK SUPERPLEXED THE BIG SHOW AND THE RING BROKE! CM Punk, Edge, Undertaker, and… huh, that’s it. A bit of an anticlimactic end, but a great retrospective video package to kick off this show.
New opening. Slight improvement in the song, but I like the video a lot better, so I’ll put it up here on the top half of the ledger.
Jim Ross qualifying the gravity of the main event by stating that it’s the “biggest eight man tag in the history of Smackdown! was hilarious to me for some reason. I can’t think of a bigger one off the top of my head, but I’m not sure WWE, or any promotion for that matter, is really known for their tag team matches featuring eight participants.
Ross and Todd Grisham open things up inside the ring and invite us to take a look backstage at the Anniversary party! I see a blonde, a brunette, another blonde, Sergeant Slaughter, one of the twins, Mark Henry, KUNG FU NAKI, Fit Finlay, Michael Cole, the Brooklyn Brawler, and Hornswooggle bartending. Also, there is a giant cake with an X on it, so it’s either poison or there’s treasure buried in it.
Batista’s music plays and I’m in a good mood. So good a mood I’m starting to wonder if there will be anything annoys me enough to place it below the ol’ Mendoza line tonight.
Oh Jesus, it’s Kane. This is the opening match of your tenth anniversary show? Couldn’t find Gene Snitsky on such short notice? Big Dave takes really good bumps for such an enormous human being. One minute in and I’m enjoying this. It must be the antidepressants. It’s the only explanation. Nevermind. Kane is working the arm. This is not so good anymore. We take a commercial break as Batista dumps Kane out of the ring. Wow. Back from break and it’s more armlockery from Kane. DOUBLE BIG BOOT! This entire match gets a pass now. That RULED. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen more whip reversals in such a short span of time. Kane hits his top rope clothesline and it looks halfway decent. Guess that was the one time out of twenty. Kane goes for the ten punch spot in the corner against a wrestler who uses a power bomb as his finisher, so he’s a complete idiot. Big Dave counters with said power bomb, and that’s a wrap. I remember nothing but the big boot spot, and it was killer goofiness.
Backstage again for more of the party. Teddy Long has arrived, and he is warmly greeted by the Hart Dynasty because he’s a bad guy now. Beth Phoenix, a black chick, a blonde, Chavo Guerrero in a Brawny Paper Towel Guy shirt, an Asian girl, the Brookyln Brawler again (who’s he blowing? Oh, right.), Maria, who looks more and more like an anime character every time I see her lately. Hornswoggle gives her a good swat on the rump and she’s completely charmed by this blatant sexual harassment. Well fellas, I guess if you ever meet Maria in person, you’ve got the all-clear. Michael Cole redeems much of his career by excitedly declaring this to be “Vintage Hornswoggle! There he goes, around the bar!” and then sharing a cool guy handshake with Teddy. Michael Cole was the man in this segment. Finlay uses the power of peer pressure to get Teddy to drink an Irish whiskey with him, then makes a toast. CM PUNK places his hand over Teddy’s shot glass because of the whole straightedge thing, provoking another “Vintage!” from Cole. Punk declares PROHIBITION RULES for Smackdown! as long as he’s champion. I need to see skits based around this concept. Vickie Guerrero says “Excuse me” and I fall in love all over again. Vickie doesn’t like the way the ship’s being run lately, but she’s mostly there to introduce her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. Santino arrives and isn’t funny. What has happened to him? Still, awesome segment.
More at the party, and the “vintage” thing is wearing on me already. Zack Ryder is trying to get into the VIP section with Mark Henry, MVP and the other twin. They let Matt Hardy and Kelly Kelly in. Then more Divas and… Charlie Haas wearing a sweatshirt. What a terrible VIP room. SHEIKY BABY ARRIVES AND SAVES THE SEGMENT! He calls Ryder a MEAN NAME.
Eddy Guerrero video package. I can’t really review a tribute, but suffice to say that they used a bad song, as usual. Great footage of course.
It’s been almost four years. It’s still really painful sometimes.
Jack Swagger is sitting at the commentary table. The man has the personality of Formica. What is that joke from? It just popped into my head, but I know it’s from something else. Thankfully, Jack is on commentary for what should be quite good. Kofi Kingston and John Morrison versus The Miz and Dolph Ziggler. Kofi is announced as being from Ghana, West Africa? WHAT? Since when is he not from fake Jamaica? Has there been some kind of RAW storyline about birth certificates that I’m not privy to? This weirds me out. Anyway, Miz and Morrison are taking on one another for the first time since they broke up to my knowledge. They start off together. Kofi hits a strange flapjack into a European uppercut kind of thing and I think it didn’t come off exactly as he planned. There’s actually not a whole lot to say about this match, Just a solid, basic tag team match. The commentators, Ross in particular, is really pushing the Ziggler/Morrison match for Hell in a Cell as a big deal, so it looks like those two are being counted on to deliver. Ziggler wins with his move, the ZIG ZAG.
HOLY CRAP YOSHI TATSU AND KUNG FU NAKI ARE SINGING A KARAOKE VERSION OF SEXY BOY AT THE PARTY. This is the greatest show I’ve ever seen. Jillian Hall ruins it. Slaughter, Sheiky and Hurricane do comedy. Michael Cole is getting more and more plastered. Angry Amish Big Show and Jericho arrive looking dapper. Cole pukes on Jericho’s shoes as Chris makes goofy faces. Joey Styles has a cameo. This thing went downhill fast, but nothing will ever top Yoshi and Fu Naki being rad together.
The Rock cuts a promo. Seriously. Taped from his home in front of his awesome trophy case, The Rock shows dorks how it’s done. I have no way to explain this. It just needs to be seen. He was so amazing. He also buried Dolph Ziggler, CM Punk, snuck in the word “ass” and promoted the main event at the pay per view better than anyone in the company. I am still in awe of this man.
The DX music plays, questioning our preparedness. Wow. The ring announcer is even being forced to introduce the main event as the biggest eight man tag in Smackdown! history. Five ring entrances between eight participants and I feel like I’ve been watching people walk to the ring for about an hour. We finally get underway with John Cena and Cody Rhodes. Cena’s working the arm, clearly scouting the tactics of technical wizard Kane. Cena tags in Hunter, and Cody tags in Ted DiBiase. They brawl in the corner with Hunter getting the better of it and he goes to the arm as well. I wonder if he can tell the difference between Rhodes and DiBiase. Hunter tags Shawn, who comes in and throws one of his really horrible chops. Seriously, the guy does one thing badly, and he does it in every match. Shawn and Undertaker share a moment, Undertaker blind tags himself in, and he and Shawn stare one another down. COME ON, GUYS! I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BROTHERS. Shawn with another chop after the commercial break, and Cody Rhodes clearly knows it sucks, as he immediately cuts Shawn off and goes on offense. Orton is finally tagged in and the arena buzzes for a big star. He’s really just got something right now. Punk tags in and he’s back to yellow gear. Good stuff. Shawn sells a beating like only Shawn Michaels can and this match is really fun. Orton uses his Headlock of Doom while Legacy calls for Shawn to tap out to it. As if. Shawn suplexes out of the hold and makes an agonizing crawl for his corner. Cody almost stops him but Shawn enzuigiris him, tags Cena, and John is a house of fire! Protoplex, Five Knuckle Shuffle, DiBiase cuts off the F-U attempt, and Cena gets hit with a high/low combo! Commercial break! I LOVE THIS MATCH! Back from the break and Punk and Orton are working over Cena with delicious glee. The glaze over Cena’s eyes as he reaches hopelessly towards his corner for the tag is a thing of beauty. DiBiase cuts off a Cena comeback with an awesome clothesline. I rewound it three times. It ruled. Both men down after a Cena suplex and John needs to make a tag. DiBiase tags Punk, Cena tags Hunter, and I think this is the first time they’ve worked together. Hunter beats him down with lots of knee based offense, as usual. And here comes Undertaker, at which point, Punk bails, leaving Randy Orton to be killed. Snake Eyes, running high kick, and this is getting too hectic to call. Finishers all over the place, and Orton is all by himself with the four babyfaces. Undertaker annihilates him with a Tombstone and that‘s all she wrote.
I loved this show. You can really only do them like this every so often, but I’d be totally fine with another in five years.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
As if to answer my question about if I’d have anything negative to say about this show, we get a video feature before Big Dave’s opponent comes out. It’s from December 16th, 2005, when Batista and Rey Mysterio teamed up to defeat MNM for the World Tag Team Titles. Nothing like reminding me via the announce team of the horrible Eddy Guerrero exploitation period. “Rey’s getting help from Eddy!” No, Eddy’s dead, Tazz. Sorry.
Eight million Divas surround the ring for a lumberjill match between Melina and Michelle McCool. This was absolutely nothing. Michelle wins quickly with the FAITH BREAKER.
Undertaker’s going to knock CM Punk from the black horse of self righteousness. For real. He just told me. Next.
Another party segment, and there’s wacky dancing going on to absolutely no music. Drew McIntyre takes center stage and proposes a toast to himself. He is jumped by R-Truth. They fall into the cake. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
NapDaddy’s Smiletime Workrate Report for ECW on Syfy, September 29th, 2009
WHAT WORKED
ACK! William Regal is the Interim General Manager thanks to Tiffany being in a car wreck. A CAR WRECK. Regal books Christian versus himself, Kozlov, Zeke, and Zack Ryder in a 4 on 1 handicap match. Something tells me that he’s not completely impartial.
Backstage with The Ruthless Roundtable, and Regal is gabbin’ on the celly with Tiffany. She forces him to change tonight’s main event to an eight man tag, with Christian’s partners being Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, and Goldust! WOOHOO! Ryder questions Regal’s credentials as a GM as a result of this. Why? He didn’t make the decision!
Pirate Paul and Katie are out to be inappropriately close. Shelton Benjamin is his opponent tonight, and I have no idea whether or not he’s a baby face. I know for sure that Paul is a heel because he hates the Hurricane, but Shelton hates Sheamus, who is definitely a heel. Speak of the Devil, Sheamus is out to attack Shelton from behind. And also to be pale. Mostly that. He runs Shelton chest first into the ring post and stomps away. I suspect that we may not get a match here. Sheamus throws Shelton back in. Is this actually going to be a match? The referee asks Shelton if he wants to go, and he motions for Pirate Paul to bring it on. The ref allows it. This ref would have his license revoked in Nevada. Paul works him over in the corner and drills him with a nice Saito suplex for a near fall. Burchill finds some neat ways to work over Shelton’s arm, and repeatedly cuts off his comebacks by going back to the limb. Another suplex from Paul, this time of the backdrop variety, and back to the arm. Crowd gets into Shelton, chanting for him to make a real comeback. He powers up to his feet, but gets suplexed. Shelton drops down onto his feet and reaches back for a nice neck breaker. Both men down, and Burchill cuts him off yet again. Okay, this is starting to get a little repetitive. Burchill going for a superplex, Shelton shoves Burchill off the top, and WHIFFS on a blockbuster attempt! Paul drops a knee and covers, two count only. Back to the arm. I GET IT, PAUL. Shelton makes a one-armed comeback, and then nails his finisher out of nowhere for the win. Good match, but the storyline detracted from it.
The Ruthless Table come out together for the main event, which means I may have to hear Zack Ryder’s theme song. We go to break. Hopefully he’ll enter during the commercial. OH RADIO TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. I hate your song, Zack Ryder. I fear it’s eventually going to make me hate you by association. Goldust needs his old letterboxed entrance with the weird camera angles. YOSHI TATSU’S MUSIC! He waves to the fans because he’s a nice guy and certainly not a creep! Tommy and Zack start, then Goldust comes in as his 2009 Miracle Comeback continues. Matt Striker just called a top rope ax handle the BURNING HAMMER OF YOSHI TATSU. An ax handle. AN AX HANDLE. That is NOT a Burning Hammer. He knows better! Whatever, I can focus again. Lots of quick tags in this one. Nobody has spent more than 45 seconds or so in the ring at any one time. Striker calls a Christian spot the Flash Point for the second week in a row, so I guess that’s the official name for his running, diving forearm smash. Tommy Dreamer goes up top! Fly, fat boy, fly! Aw, he gets cut off. That’s too bad. Dreamer’s getting worked over by all four RULE BREAKERS with Regal laying in a particularly great beating. Christian gets a hot tag but then starts selling big time, so I’d suspect we’ve got the real hot tag coming up. Christian’s strategy to reach his corner is to jump right into the arms of Valdimir Kozlov. What a doofus. His plan did not work. Christian finally makes the tag to Yoshi Tatsu, who Striker refers to as the Falcon Arrow. For Christ’s sake, Matt. You watch a lot of Japanese wrestling. I understand. He and Paul Burchill need to form some kind of belaboring the point themed tag team. Things start breaking down, and Christian gets in his sweet Silver King dive. This leave Yoshi and Regal alone in the ring, with Yoshi hitting his high kick for the… pin! Wow. That was fun, and it means more of YOSHI TATSU’S MUSIC! Ugh. Striker has to call Tatsu the Puroresu Prince just to make sure I don’t leave the show on a happy note.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
Tony Atlas is out and unfortunately, I now know what that means. The Abraham Washington Show. His guest is John Morrison. The Smackdown! wrestler. Not an ECW wrestler. Is it so important to get the Abraham Washington Show on every episode that they have to poach guys from other brands? Woo, more white people jokes, and just one day after Al Sharpton hosted RAW. Tremendous. Dolph Ziggler appears. Are we acknowledging that ECW and Smackdown! tape together now? If not, why would Dolph be there tonight? I’m thinking about this way more than they did. More “Mr. Ziggles” stuff, which is not at all over. The segment ends with Dolph never saying a word. WHAT WAS THIS?
Christian’s talking to his partners backstage, psyching them up for the main event. Horrible honor-based bowing comedy with Yoshi Tatsu. Even worse comedy with Goldust. This didn’t work, and it certainly didn’t make me want to see them be a team.
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
ACK! William Regal is the Interim General Manager thanks to Tiffany being in a car wreck. A CAR WRECK. Regal books Christian versus himself, Kozlov, Zeke, and Zack Ryder in a 4 on 1 handicap match. Something tells me that he’s not completely impartial.
Backstage with The Ruthless Roundtable, and Regal is gabbin’ on the celly with Tiffany. She forces him to change tonight’s main event to an eight man tag, with Christian’s partners being Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, and Goldust! WOOHOO! Ryder questions Regal’s credentials as a GM as a result of this. Why? He didn’t make the decision!
Pirate Paul and Katie are out to be inappropriately close. Shelton Benjamin is his opponent tonight, and I have no idea whether or not he’s a baby face. I know for sure that Paul is a heel because he hates the Hurricane, but Shelton hates Sheamus, who is definitely a heel. Speak of the Devil, Sheamus is out to attack Shelton from behind. And also to be pale. Mostly that. He runs Shelton chest first into the ring post and stomps away. I suspect that we may not get a match here. Sheamus throws Shelton back in. Is this actually going to be a match? The referee asks Shelton if he wants to go, and he motions for Pirate Paul to bring it on. The ref allows it. This ref would have his license revoked in Nevada. Paul works him over in the corner and drills him with a nice Saito suplex for a near fall. Burchill finds some neat ways to work over Shelton’s arm, and repeatedly cuts off his comebacks by going back to the limb. Another suplex from Paul, this time of the backdrop variety, and back to the arm. Crowd gets into Shelton, chanting for him to make a real comeback. He powers up to his feet, but gets suplexed. Shelton drops down onto his feet and reaches back for a nice neck breaker. Both men down, and Burchill cuts him off yet again. Okay, this is starting to get a little repetitive. Burchill going for a superplex, Shelton shoves Burchill off the top, and WHIFFS on a blockbuster attempt! Paul drops a knee and covers, two count only. Back to the arm. I GET IT, PAUL. Shelton makes a one-armed comeback, and then nails his finisher out of nowhere for the win. Good match, but the storyline detracted from it.
The Ruthless Table come out together for the main event, which means I may have to hear Zack Ryder’s theme song. We go to break. Hopefully he’ll enter during the commercial. OH RADIO TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. I hate your song, Zack Ryder. I fear it’s eventually going to make me hate you by association. Goldust needs his old letterboxed entrance with the weird camera angles. YOSHI TATSU’S MUSIC! He waves to the fans because he’s a nice guy and certainly not a creep! Tommy and Zack start, then Goldust comes in as his 2009 Miracle Comeback continues. Matt Striker just called a top rope ax handle the BURNING HAMMER OF YOSHI TATSU. An ax handle. AN AX HANDLE. That is NOT a Burning Hammer. He knows better! Whatever, I can focus again. Lots of quick tags in this one. Nobody has spent more than 45 seconds or so in the ring at any one time. Striker calls a Christian spot the Flash Point for the second week in a row, so I guess that’s the official name for his running, diving forearm smash. Tommy Dreamer goes up top! Fly, fat boy, fly! Aw, he gets cut off. That’s too bad. Dreamer’s getting worked over by all four RULE BREAKERS with Regal laying in a particularly great beating. Christian gets a hot tag but then starts selling big time, so I’d suspect we’ve got the real hot tag coming up. Christian’s strategy to reach his corner is to jump right into the arms of Valdimir Kozlov. What a doofus. His plan did not work. Christian finally makes the tag to Yoshi Tatsu, who Striker refers to as the Falcon Arrow. For Christ’s sake, Matt. You watch a lot of Japanese wrestling. I understand. He and Paul Burchill need to form some kind of belaboring the point themed tag team. Things start breaking down, and Christian gets in his sweet Silver King dive. This leave Yoshi and Regal alone in the ring, with Yoshi hitting his high kick for the… pin! Wow. That was fun, and it means more of YOSHI TATSU’S MUSIC! Ugh. Striker has to call Tatsu the Puroresu Prince just to make sure I don’t leave the show on a happy note.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
Tony Atlas is out and unfortunately, I now know what that means. The Abraham Washington Show. His guest is John Morrison. The Smackdown! wrestler. Not an ECW wrestler. Is it so important to get the Abraham Washington Show on every episode that they have to poach guys from other brands? Woo, more white people jokes, and just one day after Al Sharpton hosted RAW. Tremendous. Dolph Ziggler appears. Are we acknowledging that ECW and Smackdown! tape together now? If not, why would Dolph be there tonight? I’m thinking about this way more than they did. More “Mr. Ziggles” stuff, which is not at all over. The segment ends with Dolph never saying a word. WHAT WAS THIS?
Christian’s talking to his partners backstage, psyching them up for the main event. Horrible honor-based bowing comedy with Yoshi Tatsu. Even worse comedy with Goldust. This didn’t work, and it certainly didn’t make me want to see them be a team.
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Homer the Whopper
It took 21 seasons, but they finally managed to combine a "Homer gets a wacky new job" episode with a "Homer gets in shape" episode AND a "Homer gets even more out of shape" episode. Never did I think all three standard Homer episode types would converge like this, but there you have it. Still, a funny retread.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Vivid Video
I can always tell when my medication is working really well. Beyond the whole not passing out thing, the best indication is whether or not my dreams are really vivid. And last night? Boy howdy.
I went out to the back porch, and there was a lion in the yard. I made some scary noises at it but it didn't budge. Back into the house I went, carefully locking the door behind me. I went to find my dad and tell him about the whole lion thing, but I happened to look out a window and now there was no lion, but a Bengal tiger, a bear, and some kind of weird otter looking creature, but giant. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. I was told that I had dialed the physical therapy hot line. I hung up and went to find my dad again. This time I located him, trying on suits in his suit closet. I told him about the zoo out back and that I was going to call the cops. He seemed fine with this, so I did. I was put on hold by 9-1-1 like something out of a comedy sketch or an N.W.A. music video. I tried to explain my emergency to the first human voice I heard on the other line, and was quickly put on hold again. So I hung up. The wild animal part of the dream somehow resolved itself and I was back in high school, on a class trip to India.
CAHS in 2009 in my dream was much different than CAHS when I actually went there. For one thing, we took a class trip to India. For another, Lucas and Keith were there. No sight seeing for me as I was quickly nabbed at our hotel by an American federal agent. I'm not entirely sure why he wanted to arrest me, but it seemed to have something to do with my 9-1-1 call. I was put on a sort of informal trial where my sister's journal entries were read aloud in order to call my character into question. I tried to explain that I really had seen a lion, but nobody cared. That night, a strange man told us that he had a safe place for us all to go, away from my captors. So we went with him on a rickety bus, to some kind of mining facility. You see, he WORKED us, and now we were slave laborers. It gets kind of fuzzy here, but Lucas kind of disappeared while Keith and I worked out an escape plan that involved baseball tickets. The guards didn't buy it, so Keith just shoved me out the front door of the building into a giant parking lot where we both fled the evil Indian slavers. Sadly, they caught up to us with guns and we gave ourselves up.
Then... absolutely no idea, because the next thing I remember I was in CAHS's auditorium, talking to Lucas about our failed escape attempt and the stupid lion that got me into this mess in the first place. Lucas was concerned that I may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, so I shouted at him, clearly exhibiting no such behavior. Then there was some kind of weird aside about Andrew Patton arriving at the school and all the girls swooning. I made a joke about how he and I were a gay couple and everyone was perfectly willing to buy it. :(
I never got any resolution about the menagerie in my backyard, or why my government cared so much about it, but I did learn one important thing: never base an escape plan around baseball tickets. Especially in India.
Also, never call 9-1-1. It is a joke.
I went out to the back porch, and there was a lion in the yard. I made some scary noises at it but it didn't budge. Back into the house I went, carefully locking the door behind me. I went to find my dad and tell him about the whole lion thing, but I happened to look out a window and now there was no lion, but a Bengal tiger, a bear, and some kind of weird otter looking creature, but giant. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. I was told that I had dialed the physical therapy hot line. I hung up and went to find my dad again. This time I located him, trying on suits in his suit closet. I told him about the zoo out back and that I was going to call the cops. He seemed fine with this, so I did. I was put on hold by 9-1-1 like something out of a comedy sketch or an N.W.A. music video. I tried to explain my emergency to the first human voice I heard on the other line, and was quickly put on hold again. So I hung up. The wild animal part of the dream somehow resolved itself and I was back in high school, on a class trip to India.
CAHS in 2009 in my dream was much different than CAHS when I actually went there. For one thing, we took a class trip to India. For another, Lucas and Keith were there. No sight seeing for me as I was quickly nabbed at our hotel by an American federal agent. I'm not entirely sure why he wanted to arrest me, but it seemed to have something to do with my 9-1-1 call. I was put on a sort of informal trial where my sister's journal entries were read aloud in order to call my character into question. I tried to explain that I really had seen a lion, but nobody cared. That night, a strange man told us that he had a safe place for us all to go, away from my captors. So we went with him on a rickety bus, to some kind of mining facility. You see, he WORKED us, and now we were slave laborers. It gets kind of fuzzy here, but Lucas kind of disappeared while Keith and I worked out an escape plan that involved baseball tickets. The guards didn't buy it, so Keith just shoved me out the front door of the building into a giant parking lot where we both fled the evil Indian slavers. Sadly, they caught up to us with guns and we gave ourselves up.
Then... absolutely no idea, because the next thing I remember I was in CAHS's auditorium, talking to Lucas about our failed escape attempt and the stupid lion that got me into this mess in the first place. Lucas was concerned that I may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, so I shouted at him, clearly exhibiting no such behavior. Then there was some kind of weird aside about Andrew Patton arriving at the school and all the girls swooning. I made a joke about how he and I were a gay couple and everyone was perfectly willing to buy it. :(
I never got any resolution about the menagerie in my backyard, or why my government cared so much about it, but I did learn one important thing: never base an escape plan around baseball tickets. Especially in India.
Also, never call 9-1-1. It is a joke.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
NapDaddy’s Smiletime Workrate Report for ECW on Syfy, September 22nd, 2009
WHAT WORKED
Woo! Yoshi Tatsu! And more importantly, YOSHI TATSU'S MUSIC! His opponent is Pirate Paul, as if anyone cares. Yoshi's wearing his Mitsuharu Misawa commemorative tights. Yoshi with a nice pescado, up top, Burchill cuts him off with a fisherman's superplex. That's not something you see every day. Burchill cuts a Yoshi comeback off with a cool Samoan drop. Burchill will more MOVESET as he uses Bubba Ray Dudley's old full nelson ass buster. Burchill turns the full nelson into a cobra clutch, and he and Yoshi cop the old Austin/Hart Survivor Series 1996 spot with Yoshi kicking off the turnbuckles into a pin. Paul Burchill has clearly seen that match, as he lets go of the hold and doesn't get pinned. Yoshi with a kicktastic comeback as they get to their feet. Yoshi with a graceful top rope spinning wheel kick for a near fall. Burchill cuts him off with a knee to the gut and goes up top. Burchill with an awesome top rope knee drop and I totally bought that near fall. Yoshi drops down behind Paul on a slam attempt, and catches him with his right high kick right to the base of the skull. Super fun match, and I get to hear Yoshi's music TWICE since he won!
More great music, as Regal and his boys, Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov. Oh boy! It's a squash match! The jobbers are DUSTIN BRADY and BRANDON YOUNG. Both of them have decent tans and real wrestling gear. Unacceptable. The jobber union will be furious. Brandon Young strikes a pose upon being announced, and I hate him already. He's showing far too much personality for a jobber. Kozlov kills Brandon with a headbutt and tags in Zeke. Dustin Brady tags himself in, so he's clearly an idiot. Hard Irish whips and BIG BACK HITS abound. This is fantastic entertainment. Zeke pins Brady after his standing Rock Bottom. Just brutal. Brandon tries to help his friend recover feeling in his fingers and gets laid out by Kozlov for his trouble. Regal, Kozlov, and Zeke are an amazing trio.
After the commercial break, the aforementioned trio run into Goldust backstage. Regal versus Goldust on Superstars this Thursday! I might actually have to watch that show for once.
Christian stares at his belt like a lover, as if he's afraid he might lose it to ZACK RYDER. You're not THAT good an actor, Christian.
I want to see Zombieland. Also, the sun is bright.
Christian enters first. Jesse Ventura would be appalled to see the champ have to come to the ring first. Zack Ryder's music begins with the line "Oh radio, tell me everything you know." WHAT? This match should be good, despite that. Tony Chimel is doing the ring introductions after the music stops. I like when they do that because it gives things a more special feel, but do you really need to do that for Zack Ryder? Ryder's offensive arsenal early on consists entirely of knees to the gut, punctuated by shouts of "Come on, bro!" Christian dropkicks Ryder to the floor and then his his swank Silver King dive. Christian, by the way, is really awesome at being a professional wrestler. We go to break at a weird juncture, with Ryder stomping away. Why not hit the break after the dive? I'm going to get a soda. I return to see more midgets. It's not even a Dave & Buster's commercial. I hate this channel. We're back and at least Ryder is still on offense. I hate it when one guy is in command at the break, and by the time they get back, there's been a transition. Matt Striker tries to compare Zack Ryder's career path to Christian's. I know it's his job to be a shill, but at least shill realistically. Ryder keps going back to the gut, even busting out a Stun Gun onto the top rope. I get distracted by wireless netowork issues and Ryder is still working the gut. Christian hits a move that Matt Striker calls THE FLASHPOINT like he's been doing it for ten years. Christian tries for a sunset flip but Ryder goes all Davey Boy on him for a near fall. This match is actually really heating up. Christian finally lands the Killswitch for the win after a bunch of counters and reversals. Great match there.
Regal's music plays and out he comes with a microphone. Regal still considers himself to be the top contender. Christian rudely interrupts him with fisticuffs. OH IT'S ON.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK
Tony Atlas introduces us to the Abraham Washington Show. I've never actually seen one of these. I'm watching in real time so I'm kind of stuck. Someone leaning on his air horn is by far the most entertaining part of this. Abraham's guest is Sheamus, and this is dead before it even begins. Apparently Sheamus and Shelton Benjamin are feuding. I had no idea, and I watch this show. Tony Atlas playing Ed McMahon off in the corner is absolutely hideous. Shelton Benjamin is invited out to further drag down the level of charisma on stage. More god awful comedy as we debate the merits of being a Celtic warrior versus being Sisqo. Sheamus jumps Shelton and they have a fairly decent brawl, wrecking the talk show set. Thank God this ended. That was TEN MINUTES.
Zack Ryder cuts a promo hyping up his title shot in the main event. He's not good at pretending to be intense. Nothing to this.
Gregory Helms interviews Katie Lea who is CONVINCED that he is the Hurricane. Pirate Paul jumps Helms and apparently this feud can't end.
Smackdown! Rebound segment. I wouldn't even bother with it, but I had to watch the horrible goofiness of Undertaker kidnapping Teddy Long again.
Did I miss something as it regards the Dave & Buster's ad campaign? Why is someone's "fun" a midget version of themselves? I feel like I'm walking before learning to crawl with these commercials.
AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS!
Woo! Yoshi Tatsu! And more importantly, YOSHI TATSU'S MUSIC! His opponent is Pirate Paul, as if anyone cares. Yoshi's wearing his Mitsuharu Misawa commemorative tights. Yoshi with a nice pescado, up top, Burchill cuts him off with a fisherman's superplex. That's not something you see every day. Burchill cuts a Yoshi comeback off with a cool Samoan drop. Burchill will more MOVESET as he uses Bubba Ray Dudley's old full nelson ass buster. Burchill turns the full nelson into a cobra clutch, and he and Yoshi cop the old Austin/Hart Survivor Series 1996 spot with Yoshi kicking off the turnbuckles into a pin. Paul Burchill has clearly seen that match, as he lets go of the hold and doesn't get pinned. Yoshi with a kicktastic comeback as they get to their feet. Yoshi with a graceful top rope spinning wheel kick for a near fall. Burchill cuts him off with a knee to the gut and goes up top. Burchill with an awesome top rope knee drop and I totally bought that near fall. Yoshi drops down behind Paul on a slam attempt, and catches him with his right high kick right to the base of the skull. Super fun match, and I get to hear Yoshi's music TWICE since he won!
More great music, as Regal and his boys, Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov. Oh boy! It's a squash match! The jobbers are DUSTIN BRADY and BRANDON YOUNG. Both of them have decent tans and real wrestling gear. Unacceptable. The jobber union will be furious. Brandon Young strikes a pose upon being announced, and I hate him already. He's showing far too much personality for a jobber. Kozlov kills Brandon with a headbutt and tags in Zeke. Dustin Brady tags himself in, so he's clearly an idiot. Hard Irish whips and BIG BACK HITS abound. This is fantastic entertainment. Zeke pins Brady after his standing Rock Bottom. Just brutal. Brandon tries to help his friend recover feeling in his fingers and gets laid out by Kozlov for his trouble. Regal, Kozlov, and Zeke are an amazing trio.
After the commercial break, the aforementioned trio run into Goldust backstage. Regal versus Goldust on Superstars this Thursday! I might actually have to watch that show for once.
Christian stares at his belt like a lover, as if he's afraid he might lose it to ZACK RYDER. You're not THAT good an actor, Christian.
I want to see Zombieland. Also, the sun is bright.
Christian enters first. Jesse Ventura would be appalled to see the champ have to come to the ring first. Zack Ryder's music begins with the line "Oh radio, tell me everything you know." WHAT? This match should be good, despite that. Tony Chimel is doing the ring introductions after the music stops. I like when they do that because it gives things a more special feel, but do you really need to do that for Zack Ryder? Ryder's offensive arsenal early on consists entirely of knees to the gut, punctuated by shouts of "Come on, bro!" Christian dropkicks Ryder to the floor and then his his swank Silver King dive. Christian, by the way, is really awesome at being a professional wrestler. We go to break at a weird juncture, with Ryder stomping away. Why not hit the break after the dive? I'm going to get a soda. I return to see more midgets. It's not even a Dave & Buster's commercial. I hate this channel. We're back and at least Ryder is still on offense. I hate it when one guy is in command at the break, and by the time they get back, there's been a transition. Matt Striker tries to compare Zack Ryder's career path to Christian's. I know it's his job to be a shill, but at least shill realistically. Ryder keps going back to the gut, even busting out a Stun Gun onto the top rope. I get distracted by wireless netowork issues and Ryder is still working the gut. Christian hits a move that Matt Striker calls THE FLASHPOINT like he's been doing it for ten years. Christian tries for a sunset flip but Ryder goes all Davey Boy on him for a near fall. This match is actually really heating up. Christian finally lands the Killswitch for the win after a bunch of counters and reversals. Great match there.
Regal's music plays and out he comes with a microphone. Regal still considers himself to be the top contender. Christian rudely interrupts him with fisticuffs. OH IT'S ON.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK
Tony Atlas introduces us to the Abraham Washington Show. I've never actually seen one of these. I'm watching in real time so I'm kind of stuck. Someone leaning on his air horn is by far the most entertaining part of this. Abraham's guest is Sheamus, and this is dead before it even begins. Apparently Sheamus and Shelton Benjamin are feuding. I had no idea, and I watch this show. Tony Atlas playing Ed McMahon off in the corner is absolutely hideous. Shelton Benjamin is invited out to further drag down the level of charisma on stage. More god awful comedy as we debate the merits of being a Celtic warrior versus being Sisqo. Sheamus jumps Shelton and they have a fairly decent brawl, wrecking the talk show set. Thank God this ended. That was TEN MINUTES.
Zack Ryder cuts a promo hyping up his title shot in the main event. He's not good at pretending to be intense. Nothing to this.
Gregory Helms interviews Katie Lea who is CONVINCED that he is the Hurricane. Pirate Paul jumps Helms and apparently this feud can't end.
Smackdown! Rebound segment. I wouldn't even bother with it, but I had to watch the horrible goofiness of Undertaker kidnapping Teddy Long again.
Did I miss something as it regards the Dave & Buster's ad campaign? Why is someone's "fun" a midget version of themselves? I feel like I'm walking before learning to crawl with these commercials.
AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Vitriol
What a no buys day this turned out to be. The Browns got schooled by the DENVER BRONCOS and I missed out on pulled pork due to laying on a bench for nearly three hours. Not a bad bench though. I left Franz's couch cushions out on the porch. I hope someone finds them before it rains. Also, I hate being dizzy. It's such garbage. I was feeling halfway decent most of today and then WHAM, wake me up before I fall down! Made me miss Road House too. I would seriously trade my left arm for not being dizzy ever again. And I'm left handed. I'd trade a leg and an arm. Or just both legs. Hell, I'll just be a torso with a head if it means never having to feel this way any more. So many solutions, most of them unrealistic. Because I know that if, for example, I cut my arm off, it wouldn't cure my dizziness. I'm just saying that if it were in my power to make that deal, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
NapDaddy’s Smiletime Workrate Report for WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, September 18th, 2009
WHAT WORKED
Hey, here comes Big Dave, not wearing a suit. Times are tight. He just shouted into the camera for absolutely no reason. This is awesome. Jericho out to interrupt the Animal just as he was running out of things to say. Super timing, Chris! Jericho IS wearing a suit. Jericho is patronizing and insincere, film at 11. This somehow sets up a match for later. Decent segment, but it’s hard to get too excited about the same basic Jericho promo after a year and a half of them.
Jericho is hollerin’ at Big Show for letting Batista give hima spinebuster. Show looks exactly like Angry Amish Roadkill when he wears a vest. It’s freaky. TENSION BETWEEN THE TEAMMATES!
John Morrison’s entrance video still has a shot of him hitting the midget with a move. Is that what babyfaces do? Dolph Ziggler on commentary for this match between the aforementioned Morrison and Super Genius Mike Knox. Tonight he’s explaining Restless Leg Syndrome to us. Thanks, Mike Knox! I think Knox is getting to the point where he’s a little bit underrated. He was called up before he was ready and people kind of wrote him off. He’s improved a ton. Morrison’s break dancing based offense is much better suited to a Streets of Rage sequel than a wrestling match, but that’s just one man’s opinion. We go to commercial and I think about Lucas’s pretty, pretty hair. Just kidding. We’re back and Mike Knox has… procured… THE… CHIN LOCK! Dolph Ziggler sucks at being a commentator I should mention. Morrison hit the coolest, smoothest spinning counter into a DDT I’ve ever seen. So many people try it, and it always looks jerky and erratic. Good on ya, John. Todd Grisham just said “Speaking of big and hard.” I swear to God. Morrison finishes with his twisting split legged moonsault and this was a fun, short match thanks in no part to Mike Knox’s preposterous running cross body press.
Teddy Long has an encounter with Vince McMahon. There is much silent staring at one another. Vince has his pride hurt by Teddy’s refusal to put his picture up in his office. Quite a scorned lover back story going on here between the lines. I can’t hate these two together. Vince orders Teddy to go out and explain himself.
CM Punk is here to save the day after the cartoony Undertaker badness below. A fan with a “CM CROOK” sign gets this off to a great start. Punk is proud of his completely clean, scientific victory over the Undertaker last Sunday. AS HE SHOULD BE. For a white guy who listens to hardcore music, CM Punk sure says “you people” a lot. HMMM. The usual CM Punk preaching, but it’s still fresh, unlike Jericho’s rap. CM Punk informs me that I am inadequate and I cry into my beer. Hey, Jim Ross just called Punk a “Second City Saint.” Cool!
Jericho takes on Batista in the main event, and I expect this to be pretty good. Actually pretty methodical early, as Jericho works over Batista’s knee, then stops and switches to a chin lock for reasons still at large. Batista with the BLACK HOLE SLAM. Could it be foreshadowing an inter-promotional battle with Abyss? No? All right. Jericho cuts off a Batista comeback with an enzuigiri for a near fall and this is starting to pick up. Foolishly, Jericho goes to the top rope and gets waylaid with a clothesline. After a few more nearfalls, Batista finishes Jericho with the Liger bomb. Short match. Batista must not be quite at 100% yet.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
In what universe would I ever want to boo Teddy Long? They’d better give him less awesome theme music. He could do a straight swap with the show’s current opening theme. Just hideous. I actually long for the days of “The Beautiful People.” Not the TNA act, the Marilyn Manson song.
Morrison on the mic after his match, calling Ziggler a fag or something. Lame. This “Mr. Ziggles” thing is so wretched. Ziggler shouting “That’s not my name” in a very matter of fact manner almost saved it. Not quite.
Referee Scott Armstrong tries to explain his screwing of the Undertaker on Sunday night. God bless him, but he’s not been blessed with his brother Road Dogg’s gift of gab.
Melina’s ring entrance just doesn’t stack up very favorably to that of the Beautiful People. Not the Marilyn Manson song, the TNA act. Michelle McCool’s heel selling is very entertaining. I hope that’s not the only positive thing I say about this match. Actually, Michelle’s offense is looking pretty good as well. Could she be the secret Smackdown! super worker? “We want Bret” chant just completely out of nowhere. Too much shrillness in this here Diva match. Oh God. I spoke too soon. Melina’s screaming is unbearable. This is going on the lower half just for that. Melina wins a non-title match, go to Hell.
After the break, Teddy comes out flanked by a dozen or so Canadian security guards. The reason he did what he did? TIMES ARE TOUGH! See? Teddy Long knows, just like Big Dave’s tailor! This is the worst explanation ever. Can’t he just make up something about Undertaker cheating at cards or pouring bleach into his washing machine? Anyway, Teddy and his security detail head backstage, leading me to believe that something is going to happen. Oh God. INSIDE THE LIMO CAM. Could it be? “BUCKLE UP, TEDDY!” says the Under Chauffer! Scary music plays1 Purple smoke fills the limo! Weird vocal filters alter Teddy’s voice! I CAN’T DO THIS JUSTICE! This is the absolute worst of sports entertainment. Also, Undertaker’s line tonight wasn’t nearly as good as “WHERE TO, STEPHANIE!?” from when he kidnapped the youngest McMahon offspring.
TONIGHT! Great Khali versus Kane! WHY!?
Cryme Tyme stereotypes their way down to the ring to face the Hart Dynasty. Are Cryme Tyme this generation’s Bushwhackers? I can’t even really pay attention to their matches anymore. They’re a goofy gimmick team who win sometimes and lose sometimes. It never really matters one way or another. Cryme Tyme playing face here in Canada, so they get booed. Harts playing heel here in Canada, so they get cheered. Todd Grisham tells us about David Hart Smith’s “perfect genes”. I know it’s not genetic, but saying that about a guy whose father died of a steroid induced heart attack in his late 30s is just weird. Is it always snowing somewhere in Canada? Can Amanda clear up this claim by the announcers? This match is still occurring. Jim Ross just compared Shad’s clothesline to Stan Hansen. I quit. Jim Ross thinks “Chianti” West made a fool of himself at the VMAs. Indeed. Harts win and the crowd go banana! Totally nut! Tyson Kidd has a really stupid finisher. It’s like a combination judo throw/Stone Cold Stunner. Stop that.
The Divas locker room is covered with photos of what I presume is supposed to be Dolph Ziggler and Michelle McCool from last week. Melina begins tearing them down, but UH OH. She’s caught red handed by Maria, who she was only trying to protect! Maria SERVES Melina but good and storms off. That’ll learn ya to scream during matches.
Kane versus Khali. Oh boy. Here we go. I’ve actually managed to not see either of their matches this summer. I should have known I couldn’t escape the horror forever. Khali’s clubbering away in the corner and I already want to jab my eyes out. Oh good. It’s just an angle dressed up like a match as Kane destroys Khali’s knee with the STEEL STEPS. Still, for the 90 seconds it was a match, it was BAD.
Drew McIntyre is out, looking like Brian Kendrick spent a little time on the rack. He attacks Charlie Haas, as if things aren’t hard enough for him already, just being Charlie Haas. Can you even imagine that?
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
Hey, here comes Big Dave, not wearing a suit. Times are tight. He just shouted into the camera for absolutely no reason. This is awesome. Jericho out to interrupt the Animal just as he was running out of things to say. Super timing, Chris! Jericho IS wearing a suit. Jericho is patronizing and insincere, film at 11. This somehow sets up a match for later. Decent segment, but it’s hard to get too excited about the same basic Jericho promo after a year and a half of them.
Jericho is hollerin’ at Big Show for letting Batista give hima spinebuster. Show looks exactly like Angry Amish Roadkill when he wears a vest. It’s freaky. TENSION BETWEEN THE TEAMMATES!
John Morrison’s entrance video still has a shot of him hitting the midget with a move. Is that what babyfaces do? Dolph Ziggler on commentary for this match between the aforementioned Morrison and Super Genius Mike Knox. Tonight he’s explaining Restless Leg Syndrome to us. Thanks, Mike Knox! I think Knox is getting to the point where he’s a little bit underrated. He was called up before he was ready and people kind of wrote him off. He’s improved a ton. Morrison’s break dancing based offense is much better suited to a Streets of Rage sequel than a wrestling match, but that’s just one man’s opinion. We go to commercial and I think about Lucas’s pretty, pretty hair. Just kidding. We’re back and Mike Knox has… procured… THE… CHIN LOCK! Dolph Ziggler sucks at being a commentator I should mention. Morrison hit the coolest, smoothest spinning counter into a DDT I’ve ever seen. So many people try it, and it always looks jerky and erratic. Good on ya, John. Todd Grisham just said “Speaking of big and hard.” I swear to God. Morrison finishes with his twisting split legged moonsault and this was a fun, short match thanks in no part to Mike Knox’s preposterous running cross body press.
Teddy Long has an encounter with Vince McMahon. There is much silent staring at one another. Vince has his pride hurt by Teddy’s refusal to put his picture up in his office. Quite a scorned lover back story going on here between the lines. I can’t hate these two together. Vince orders Teddy to go out and explain himself.
CM Punk is here to save the day after the cartoony Undertaker badness below. A fan with a “CM CROOK” sign gets this off to a great start. Punk is proud of his completely clean, scientific victory over the Undertaker last Sunday. AS HE SHOULD BE. For a white guy who listens to hardcore music, CM Punk sure says “you people” a lot. HMMM. The usual CM Punk preaching, but it’s still fresh, unlike Jericho’s rap. CM Punk informs me that I am inadequate and I cry into my beer. Hey, Jim Ross just called Punk a “Second City Saint.” Cool!
Jericho takes on Batista in the main event, and I expect this to be pretty good. Actually pretty methodical early, as Jericho works over Batista’s knee, then stops and switches to a chin lock for reasons still at large. Batista with the BLACK HOLE SLAM. Could it be foreshadowing an inter-promotional battle with Abyss? No? All right. Jericho cuts off a Batista comeback with an enzuigiri for a near fall and this is starting to pick up. Foolishly, Jericho goes to the top rope and gets waylaid with a clothesline. After a few more nearfalls, Batista finishes Jericho with the Liger bomb. Short match. Batista must not be quite at 100% yet.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
In what universe would I ever want to boo Teddy Long? They’d better give him less awesome theme music. He could do a straight swap with the show’s current opening theme. Just hideous. I actually long for the days of “The Beautiful People.” Not the TNA act, the Marilyn Manson song.
Morrison on the mic after his match, calling Ziggler a fag or something. Lame. This “Mr. Ziggles” thing is so wretched. Ziggler shouting “That’s not my name” in a very matter of fact manner almost saved it. Not quite.
Referee Scott Armstrong tries to explain his screwing of the Undertaker on Sunday night. God bless him, but he’s not been blessed with his brother Road Dogg’s gift of gab.
Melina’s ring entrance just doesn’t stack up very favorably to that of the Beautiful People. Not the Marilyn Manson song, the TNA act. Michelle McCool’s heel selling is very entertaining. I hope that’s not the only positive thing I say about this match. Actually, Michelle’s offense is looking pretty good as well. Could she be the secret Smackdown! super worker? “We want Bret” chant just completely out of nowhere. Too much shrillness in this here Diva match. Oh God. I spoke too soon. Melina’s screaming is unbearable. This is going on the lower half just for that. Melina wins a non-title match, go to Hell.
After the break, Teddy comes out flanked by a dozen or so Canadian security guards. The reason he did what he did? TIMES ARE TOUGH! See? Teddy Long knows, just like Big Dave’s tailor! This is the worst explanation ever. Can’t he just make up something about Undertaker cheating at cards or pouring bleach into his washing machine? Anyway, Teddy and his security detail head backstage, leading me to believe that something is going to happen. Oh God. INSIDE THE LIMO CAM. Could it be? “BUCKLE UP, TEDDY!” says the Under Chauffer! Scary music plays1 Purple smoke fills the limo! Weird vocal filters alter Teddy’s voice! I CAN’T DO THIS JUSTICE! This is the absolute worst of sports entertainment. Also, Undertaker’s line tonight wasn’t nearly as good as “WHERE TO, STEPHANIE!?” from when he kidnapped the youngest McMahon offspring.
TONIGHT! Great Khali versus Kane! WHY!?
Cryme Tyme stereotypes their way down to the ring to face the Hart Dynasty. Are Cryme Tyme this generation’s Bushwhackers? I can’t even really pay attention to their matches anymore. They’re a goofy gimmick team who win sometimes and lose sometimes. It never really matters one way or another. Cryme Tyme playing face here in Canada, so they get booed. Harts playing heel here in Canada, so they get cheered. Todd Grisham tells us about David Hart Smith’s “perfect genes”. I know it’s not genetic, but saying that about a guy whose father died of a steroid induced heart attack in his late 30s is just weird. Is it always snowing somewhere in Canada? Can Amanda clear up this claim by the announcers? This match is still occurring. Jim Ross just compared Shad’s clothesline to Stan Hansen. I quit. Jim Ross thinks “Chianti” West made a fool of himself at the VMAs. Indeed. Harts win and the crowd go banana! Totally nut! Tyson Kidd has a really stupid finisher. It’s like a combination judo throw/Stone Cold Stunner. Stop that.
The Divas locker room is covered with photos of what I presume is supposed to be Dolph Ziggler and Michelle McCool from last week. Melina begins tearing them down, but UH OH. She’s caught red handed by Maria, who she was only trying to protect! Maria SERVES Melina but good and storms off. That’ll learn ya to scream during matches.
Kane versus Khali. Oh boy. Here we go. I’ve actually managed to not see either of their matches this summer. I should have known I couldn’t escape the horror forever. Khali’s clubbering away in the corner and I already want to jab my eyes out. Oh good. It’s just an angle dressed up like a match as Kane destroys Khali’s knee with the STEEL STEPS. Still, for the 90 seconds it was a match, it was BAD.
Drew McIntyre is out, looking like Brian Kendrick spent a little time on the rack. He attacks Charlie Haas, as if things aren’t hard enough for him already, just being Charlie Haas. Can you even imagine that?
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT WAS!
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Laptop Blog
Hear this, world! I now have a new computing device designed to sit on my lap! Fear its awesome connectivity in coffee houses and on college campuses! Who needs a savings account!? Later tonight (probably), the return of Workrate Reports!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Adrenaline ebb
I haven't been to sleep yet, but I'm very much looking forward to it. Here is what I learned tonight:
Oliver Stone movies don't hold up well out of their time and place. Or at the very least, Natural Born Killers and Wall Street don't.
Oliver Stone movies don't hold up well out of their time and place. Or at the very least, Natural Born Killers and Wall Street don't.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The blog lives, it's just boring
Not much going on for the past few days in my life. I'm just kind of spinning my wheels until classes start next week. Also, America misses you, Amanda. Canada is very lucky.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Tonight, on a very special Broin' Down...
Gender lines are crossed, loyalties are tested, and Zack and Slater have it out once and for all for the love of the new girl, Tori. All that and more at Ruby Tuesday. It's Broin' Down XXVIII: Beerko BRO Cop.
Also, new Sporcle game.
http://www.sporcle.com/games/tagteam_smackdown.php
I missed some that I should not have missed. 53/58.
Also, new Sporcle game.
http://www.sporcle.com/games/tagteam_smackdown.php
I missed some that I should not have missed. 53/58.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
DVD of the Year
I didn't sample any bourbon Friday night, but I got my own taste of Kentucky with the newest entry in Kayfabe Commentaries' Guest Booker series.
The concept for Guest Booker is sound, in that current or former pro wrestling bookers take a look at another company or territory and discuss what they would have done differently in a certain time period. The problem is that most of the past subjects have been concerned mostly with coming up with matches as opposed to actually explaining the rationale behind the decisions being made. With the WCW Invasion angle probably being the most famous example of a wasted license to print money, the topic is rife for analysis, and Jim Cornette is more than up to the task. I'm not one hundred percent that all of his ideas would have been for the best, but when the program ended, I knew that I would have liked to see it play out his way a heck of a lot more than what actually happened.
The concept for Guest Booker is sound, in that current or former pro wrestling bookers take a look at another company or territory and discuss what they would have done differently in a certain time period. The problem is that most of the past subjects have been concerned mostly with coming up with matches as opposed to actually explaining the rationale behind the decisions being made. With the WCW Invasion angle probably being the most famous example of a wasted license to print money, the topic is rife for analysis, and Jim Cornette is more than up to the task. I'm not one hundred percent that all of his ideas would have been for the best, but when the program ended, I knew that I would have liked to see it play out his way a heck of a lot more than what actually happened.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Phew!
I needed that break, but my new Blogstrong bracelet just arrived in the mail, so it's back to the cyber grind... gross.
As Amanda's time in the land of the free and home of the brave draws to a close, she has agreed to one final wrestling night, and since I've got nothing but time until the new quarter starts, I'm leaving it to her discretion to pick what night she'd like to watch...
So, excepting Tuesday for reasons of Broin' Down XXVIII: Beerko BRO Cop, any night you wish will do for this endeavor. And also, since it's a two hour show, the replaying of the WORST MATCH IN HISTORY will also have to be part of the festivities. Dave said he would only tolerate seeing it once a year, but you're leaving and didn't see it the first time, so there.
Anyway, my back hurts so I'm going to cut this short. Be back soon!
As Amanda's time in the land of the free and home of the brave draws to a close, she has agreed to one final wrestling night, and since I've got nothing but time until the new quarter starts, I'm leaving it to her discretion to pick what night she'd like to watch...
So, excepting Tuesday for reasons of Broin' Down XXVIII: Beerko BRO Cop, any night you wish will do for this endeavor. And also, since it's a two hour show, the replaying of the WORST MATCH IN HISTORY will also have to be part of the festivities. Dave said he would only tolerate seeing it once a year, but you're leaving and didn't see it the first time, so there.
Anyway, my back hurts so I'm going to cut this short. Be back soon!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wrestling Night Tomorrow?
8/18. I've got lots of options, just need folks to watch them with. Holler.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A slept on classic
As fun and action packed as the MMA scene has been in August, I'm glad there's a two week break until the Couture/Nogueira fight at UFC 102. Three major shows in an eight day period is too much.
I watched 10 Things I Hate About You for the first time in my life this morning. The movie, not the new ABC Family series based on said movie. AWESOME FILM. Joseph Gordon Levitt needs to do more comedy these days because he's wasting his prime earning years as an indie drama poster boy.
I also picked up the first season of Gossip Girl on sale at Target this afternoon, so I'll be reliving that sadly strike-shortened endeavor this week. Gotta refresh my memory in time for the season three premiere next month.
It also came with a bonus MP3 download of the audio book of the original novel, read by Christina Ricci of all people.
BLATANT EXCUSE
I watched 10 Things I Hate About You for the first time in my life this morning. The movie, not the new ABC Family series based on said movie. AWESOME FILM. Joseph Gordon Levitt needs to do more comedy these days because he's wasting his prime earning years as an indie drama poster boy.
I also picked up the first season of Gossip Girl on sale at Target this afternoon, so I'll be reliving that sadly strike-shortened endeavor this week. Gotta refresh my memory in time for the season three premiere next month.
It also came with a bonus MP3 download of the audio book of the original novel, read by Christina Ricci of all people.
BLATANT EXCUSE
Friday, August 14, 2009
Winged eagles
Check out that belt! Look familiar?
The Strikeforce 145 pound women's title is now officially the coolest looking belt in MMA history. Go Gina!
Monday, August 10, 2009
We Work. We Play. We Bro.
Just wanted to throw a little reminder up for Tuesday night. I'm appalled at myself for not knowing the number or subtitle of the upcoming event off the top of my head, but hopefully Uncle Adam can pop in on the comments and enlighten us. See you all Tuesday at 7!
Here are some MMA thoughts for the last two days. Get ready for some groundbreaking analysis: STAR POWER IS EVERYTHING.
The World Extreme Cagefighting show last night was, in the cage at least, a much better show than UFC 101. However, WEC does not have Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin, or BJ Penn and thus, overall, I liked the UFC show better. It could also be that I watched WEC by myself and watched UFC with three other people. Still, I enjoyed UFC more despite there being better fights on Versus.
Thanks for coming!
Here are some MMA thoughts for the last two days. Get ready for some groundbreaking analysis: STAR POWER IS EVERYTHING.
The World Extreme Cagefighting show last night was, in the cage at least, a much better show than UFC 101. However, WEC does not have Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin, or BJ Penn and thus, overall, I liked the UFC show better. It could also be that I watched WEC by myself and watched UFC with three other people. Still, I enjoyed UFC more despite there being better fights on Versus.
Thanks for coming!
Friday, August 07, 2009
I Hate it When I Work Blue
I watched Step Brothers today on Starz On Demand. This blog has been, over the past five years, a place for me to vent frustrations and simple pleasures, so much of what I say can't really be taken at face value. For instance, I don't really hate music so much as it causes me emotional anguish. On the other hand, I don't really love Brett Favre, I just think he's awesome. So, with that said, Step Brothers is the stupidest movie I've ever seen in my entire life. EVER. I Rambo for the NES were a movie, it would not be as stupid as Step Brothers.
I've made a point to not curse as much on this blog recently as I used to, mostly for posterity. I don't want to re-read these when I'm an old man and have to sift through pages and pages of four letter words just to remind myself what I thought of, for instance, Rambo for the NES.
I am making an exception tonight because THIS FUCKING MOVIE WAS THE FUCKING STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN. FUCK.
I've made a point to not curse as much on this blog recently as I used to, mostly for posterity. I don't want to re-read these when I'm an old man and have to sift through pages and pages of four letter words just to remind myself what I thought of, for instance, Rambo for the NES.
I am making an exception tonight because THIS FUCKING MOVIE WAS THE FUCKING STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN. FUCK.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
UFC 101 Lineup
For those coming over Saturday night for the show, you may want to take a look at this lineup so you can start thinking about your picks. ANOTHER FABULOUS MMA PRIZE WILL BE GIVEN AWAY!
Straight up jacked from Wikipedia, including helpful links
B.J. Penn (c) vs. Kenny Florian
Light Heavyweight bout:
Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin
Welterweight bout: Amir Sadollah vs. Johny Hendricks
Middleweight bout: Kendall Grove vs. Ricardo Almeida
Lightweight bout: Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino
Shane Nelson vs. Aaron Riley
Welterweight bout: Tamdan McCrory vs. John Howard
Middleweight bout: Thales Leites vs. 
Alessio Sakara
Welterweight bout: Matt Riddle vs. Dan Cramer
Lightweight bout:
George Sotiropoulos vs. George Roop
Welterweight bout: Jesse Lennox vs. Danillo Villefort
Straight up jacked from Wikipedia, including helpful links
Main card
Lightweight Championship bout: B.J. Penn (c) vs. Kenny FlorianLight Heavyweight bout:
Anderson Silva vs. Forrest GriffinWelterweight bout:
Amir Sadollah vs. Johny HendricksMiddleweight bout:
Kendall Grove vs. Ricardo AlmeidaLightweight bout:
Josh Neer vs. Kurt PellegrinoPreliminary card
Lightweight bout: Shane Nelson vs. Aaron RileyWelterweight bout:
Tamdan McCrory vs. John HowardMiddleweight bout:
Thales Leites vs. Alessio SakaraWelterweight bout:
Matt Riddle vs. Dan CramerLightweight bout:
George Sotiropoulos vs. George RoopWelterweight bout:
Jesse Lennox vs. Danillo Villefort
Sunday, August 02, 2009
State of the Union
I'm a really big fan of the sport of mixed martial arts. I love watching UFC pay per views. I love the WEC shows on Versus with the lighter weight classes. I love the production values and pageantry of the Strikeforce events on Showtime. American MMA is in a bit of a glory period right now, and it's completely awesome.
This does not mean, however, that I like MMA more than I like professional wrestling.
I love pro wrestling. I loved pro wrestling when I was six years old watching Hulk Hogan suplex the Big Boss Man off a steel cage. I loved pro wrestling in 1997 when I was trying to figure out just what on earth had happened at the end of the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels match at Survivor Series. I loved pro wrestling earlier this year when Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, at a combined age of about 85, completely stole the show at Wrestlemania.
Yet, in 2009... and looking back, 2008, I enjoy UFC a million more times than I do WWE.
This is not an issue of real versus fake. As I said, in theory, I truly do like professional wrestling more than mixed martial arts. But in practice, UFC's product, with almost zero control of the outcomes of their fights, is consistently more compelling to me than is Smackdown, RAW or ECW.
I really want to be enthusiastic about wrestling and the way WWE is presented right now is absolutely not cutting it for me.
So I'm going to take a break from watching it. So long, ever-revolving combinations of Triple H, John Cena and Randy Orton. Farewell to you, Kane. See ya later, Abraham Washington and Tommy Dreamer.
I'm on a mission to get myself excited about watching pro wrestling again. If that means more nostalgia, so be it. I have WWE 24/7 all ready to go. If that means going out of my way to download more Japanese stuff, that's what I'll have to do. If it means buying lucha DVDs online... well, that's probably not going to happen. Regardless, steps will be taken, and I will enjoy pro wrestling again.
That said, I'm jumping back into the Monday Night Wars series on 24/7 tomorrow night. If anyone wants to join me, I'd love the company.
DIESEL POWER!
This does not mean, however, that I like MMA more than I like professional wrestling.
I love pro wrestling. I loved pro wrestling when I was six years old watching Hulk Hogan suplex the Big Boss Man off a steel cage. I loved pro wrestling in 1997 when I was trying to figure out just what on earth had happened at the end of the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels match at Survivor Series. I loved pro wrestling earlier this year when Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, at a combined age of about 85, completely stole the show at Wrestlemania.
Yet, in 2009... and looking back, 2008, I enjoy UFC a million more times than I do WWE.
This is not an issue of real versus fake. As I said, in theory, I truly do like professional wrestling more than mixed martial arts. But in practice, UFC's product, with almost zero control of the outcomes of their fights, is consistently more compelling to me than is Smackdown, RAW or ECW.
I really want to be enthusiastic about wrestling and the way WWE is presented right now is absolutely not cutting it for me.
So I'm going to take a break from watching it. So long, ever-revolving combinations of Triple H, John Cena and Randy Orton. Farewell to you, Kane. See ya later, Abraham Washington and Tommy Dreamer.
I'm on a mission to get myself excited about watching pro wrestling again. If that means more nostalgia, so be it. I have WWE 24/7 all ready to go. If that means going out of my way to download more Japanese stuff, that's what I'll have to do. If it means buying lucha DVDs online... well, that's probably not going to happen. Regardless, steps will be taken, and I will enjoy pro wrestling again.
That said, I'm jumping back into the Monday Night Wars series on 24/7 tomorrow night. If anyone wants to join me, I'd love the company.
DIESEL POWER!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Killer Instinct
I don't know who it's by or if it's even the actual name of the song, but "Warriors of Time" is really anoying. Don't listen to it.
I'm over at Adam's, preparing to watch PRIDE 15. WOOOOOOO! And Adam just handed me a Bud Light Lime! WOOOOOO! Quentin Jackson versus Kazushi Sakuraba! WOO! GET SOME! I LOVE FIGHTING!
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Anyone doing anything tonight? My bloodlust will probably be sated by then.
I'm over at Adam's, preparing to watch PRIDE 15. WOOOOOOO! And Adam just handed me a Bud Light Lime! WOOOOOO! Quentin Jackson versus Kazushi Sakuraba! WOO! GET SOME! I LOVE FIGHTING!
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Anyone doing anything tonight? My bloodlust will probably be sated by then.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dreams
Last night's was a doozy. Fresh off a four and a half hour session of ProWresLove with my pals, Morpheus whisked me off to a bar in Anytown, USA, where Davekwon and I had to break up a pull apart featuring Amanda and Brock Lesnar while Lucas tended bar and seemed to not know anyone involved. Or maybe he just had great confidence in his wife's ass-kicking abilities.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Cheers Vanquished/Fight Night in Jeopardy
I polished off Cheers earlier this morning. Now, onto Frasier!
Sadly, it looks like the August 1st Affliction: Trilogy party may not be taking place. One of the fighters in the main event, Josh Barnett, has reportedly failed an out of competition drug test, making him ineligible to compete in the state of California. Barnett denies any wrongdoing, but when he was UFC Heavyweight Champion he failed a steroid test causing him to be stripped of his title and exiled from the company. Where does this leave Fedor?
No one is sure right now, but the most marketable opponent, former WWE superstar Bobby Lashley, is 4-0 in his MMA career, and would be, in my opinion, a fool to accept the fight. So unless we're getting Lashley/Fedor, I ain't buyin' it!
So if that's the case, how about August 8th for UFC 101?
Also, interesting article by Dave Meltzer on Yahoo! Sports about the Brock Lesnar backlash. You can read it here
This man... steroid user?
Sadly, it looks like the August 1st Affliction: Trilogy party may not be taking place. One of the fighters in the main event, Josh Barnett, has reportedly failed an out of competition drug test, making him ineligible to compete in the state of California. Barnett denies any wrongdoing, but when he was UFC Heavyweight Champion he failed a steroid test causing him to be stripped of his title and exiled from the company. Where does this leave Fedor?
No one is sure right now, but the most marketable opponent, former WWE superstar Bobby Lashley, is 4-0 in his MMA career, and would be, in my opinion, a fool to accept the fight. So unless we're getting Lashley/Fedor, I ain't buyin' it!
So if that's the case, how about August 8th for UFC 101?
Also, interesting article by Dave Meltzer on Yahoo! Sports about the Brock Lesnar backlash. You can read it here
This man... steroid user?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
DEFinitely not my fault
Lowest turnout in a while for last night's Broin' Down event, and at first I allowed the blame to be placed on me. Was I not advertising enough on the blog? Perhaps I wasn't making the necessary phone calls? As it turns out, my blogging and/or phoning would not have changed either a conflicting birthday celebration or a trip to Hawaii. The five of us soldiered on splendidly.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Know Your Champions
http://www.sporcle.com/games/wwe_worldheavyweight.php
Yay Sporcle. I got 30 of 31. I can't BELIEVE the one I missed.
Yay Sporcle. I got 30 of 31. I can't BELIEVE the one I missed.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Dana White Wins
The Wrestling Night Crew, minus Keith, watched the UFC 100 preview special last night, and I don't know about the rest of my pals, but I am totally in awe of UFC's ability to promote a fight. The Brock Lesnar/Frank Mir stuff on that show was absolutely incredible and Saturday can't get here quickly enough for me. If you haven't seen this show, try to catch a replay or something. It's awesome.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Strange Bedfellows
Why do comic book and cartoon super villains hire such incompetent henchmen? I know that every genius level character in these superhero universes are more apt to be super villains themselves than hired help, but can't these guys get goons with GEDs or something? I'm tired of seeing conversations where a criminal mastermind boasts about his awesome plan to his lieutenants and the entire concept is beyond them. DON'T YOU LEARN? How many times do your second stringers have to fail to protect you from Batman before you smarten up and go headhunting among the collegiate ranks?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Wrestling Night Preview
Tomorrow is Wrestling Night after a break last month. Thrill to the UFC 100 preview special to get your motor running for Saturday night!
"Come on, fuckers. Fuckin' buy this fuckin' show."
But the main event, one of the greatest wrestling shows of all time, and one that still holds up fantastically well... Great American Bash 1989!
This poster rules.
Old school
"Come on, fuckers. Fuckin' buy this fuckin' show."
But the main event, one of the greatest wrestling shows of all time, and one that still holds up fantastically well... Great American Bash 1989!
This poster rules.
Old school
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