Repent, for the end is extremely fucking nigh

Motherfucking science goes too far

Okay, if you don't want to read the article, the upshot is that some scientists have been experimenting with REANIMATING dogs that have been dead for several hours. Why? Supposedly to advance research in suspended animation for humans.

I always knew that the zombie apocalypse was coming, but I never imagined it would start this way. Here's one of the reanimated dogs.



Does that look NATURAL to you? Damn it, I'm not ready. We don't have our house boat. I don't have supplies prepared. I haven't completed my online gun toting courses. I don't even know how to train zombies to be good little boys and girls.


Bub says, "Hello, Aunt Alicia."

It doesn't help that I've been having serious home invasion/zombie fear the past week. I blame that damn Romero. The worst part is, thanks to him, when the zombies DO come for me, they'll probably stop and talk to me for fifteen minutes about how our culture cannibalizes itslef, or how consumerism is bad, or how Che Guevara would kick George Bush's ass in a shoot fight with gasoline and fire. And then to add injury to boredom, he'd eat me.

Okay, I'm sorry, George Romero. You know I LUVVVVVVS you. I'm just scared.

B Movies and Beer roll call

I don't know why the post below wasn't accepting comments, but it's fixed now. Anyway, if people planning on attending could just comment here, that would be great.

Land of the Dead ramblings, B Movies and Beer

Well, it's time to get down to business. After twenty years, George A. Romero has released another zombie opus, so what did I think of it?

It wasn't as good as the previous three movies, I can say that for sure. That's not really a criticism either, as I think it would have been expecting too much to assume that it would be. I've seen people call this chapter too much like an action movie, but to that I say "Pshaah." "Dawn of the Dead" was a friggin' comic book come to life, so don't tell me that this is a departure for Romero. The only real differences in this movie from the others were;

(1) The pacing, as Night, Dawn and Day take a while to get going but suck you in with their story, while this movie just flies for its entire 88 minute running time. It seems like every two minutes someone is getting devoured.

(2) A total lack of isolationism and claustrophobia. There's a very palpable sense of impending doom in the first three movies, but this one feels wide open. That feeling added a lot to the atmosphere of the earlier movies and it was missed here.

I didn't have a problem with Big Black Che Guevara, as the zombies have been getting progressively more intelligent throughout the series, so it stayed consistent.

All of the deaths were fabulous, especially the soldier falling on his grenade.

In short, million billion stars.

Now, next item:

Wednesday, June 29th, 8 pm: B Movies and Beer/faggy Woodchuck Cider, part... um... let's call it Eight.

The flicks being featured on this evening are the Wes Craven classic "The People Under the Stairs" (sorry, no Thes One or Double K sightings here), and because it's his month, George Romero's vampire flick "Martin", which is still unwatched by me.

So yeah, be there and stuff.


No, not YOU guys!


There, THAT'S more like it.


I can't wait!

Bits and Pieces

It's weird to watch "MTV Jams" in the year 2005. I feel like "House of Style" should be coming on anytime now. This is the second time I've watched this particular episode, mainly because I wanted to see the Slim Thug video again. I still don't get why you put Bun B in a song and rap over a Neptunes beat. Where's the Southern flava? It's BUN B!

The Boyz N the (da?) Hood video is pretty wack. It reminded me of that Kanye "Through the Wire" video. Kanye needs to break through a Southern guy. Where's Junior the Chocolate Bandit these days? I do have to note that this video DID have a hot black stripper in a Ramones shirt, though. That was cool.

While Kanye is the topic, it's hard not to mention his new video. I have no idea what's going on in it. It seems to be about the shadiness of the ice business, but there's also all kinds of weird Ingmar Bergman looking shit in it, like playing organs for no good reason. Fuck Ingmar Bergman and fuck Kanye.

"Hollaback Girl" was not watched by me, but Gwen Stefani is like 35 years old and she ought to know better not to dress like that.

This post was... B-A-N-A-N-A-S. BANANAS!

Land of the Dead thoughts...

SIKE! Those'll have to wait, as I'm seeing it again on Saturday, and will be able to be more objective at that point.

If anyone deserves a tribute...

George A. Romero tribute

I'll be back later with my own "Land of the Dead" thoughts, but this is a really cool little tribute with quotes from John Landis, Clive Barker, Guillermo Del Toro, Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and others. Enjoy.

Fine, fuck y'all

Don't talk about CM Punk. See if I care. Eat it!

Moving on...

This evening Ashley, Jason and I began Blockbuster Summer 2005 proper, taking in probably the best movie I've seen all year, "Batman Begins". Casting Cillian Murphy? Genius. Tom Wilkinson as a mob boss? A treat. Christian Bale without wack '80s hair? DA BOMB. See it.

Tomorrow is "Land of the Dead", and if you know anything about me, you know that you'll be seeing a LOT of content up here tomorrow night after I get back from that. Till then, peace!

Punk'd

Okay, so I hate to harp on about an indy wrestler that most people don't know, but... wrestling really baffles me sometimes. So, CM Punk wrestled what was supposedly his final Ring of Honor match last night, against World Champion Austin Aries. Punk won the match, and the title, presumably to shock fans because everyone knows he's going to WWE. Not that he didn't deserve to have a title reign, because he did, but the booking here is just baffling. Anyway, after the match, Punk turns heel on the audience and Christopher Daniels shows up, making his return to Ring of Honor for the first time since January of 2004 in Wilmington when Lee screamed "Thank you, Satan!" and fell in love with Allison Danger.

Anyway, Daniels challenges Punk to a title shot, and Punk says something about, "Sure, in 16 months" and bails through the crowd.

Okay, if he loses the title in the ring, this will make a lot more sense in retrospect. If not, this is one of the stupidest things ever. Ring of Honor, if nothing else, has always done a great job of making their World Title look VERY important, and if the title becomes vacant because they put it on a guy who had ALREADY signed with WWE, that really devalues the belt. Anyway, I just had to vent about the nutty world of indy wrestling. Peace.


CM Punk


Austin Aries


Christopher Daniels


Allison Danger


Daniels alter-ego CURRY MAN! (Just because)

For all y'alls that didn't know

Everyone's favorite indy superstar is... no longer indy? That's right, CM Punk has signed a WWE deal and after spending enough time in Ohio Valley Wrestling to become accustomed to the big ass rings, will likely debut on television. Huzzah. Welcome to the big time, Punker. I could make a joke about him headlining HeAt for the entirety of his contract, but I'll think positively and hope for a series of matches against Shelton and Angle in the next six months. I wish you well, pal.



Even the Japanese hos cannot contain their love of the Punk

A roofing I will go

I'll be out of town for a couple of days on a job, but should be back either Thursday or Friday evening. I'll write a better update then. Bye bye!

Fuck Bradshaw

This is from Meltzer at Wrestlingobserver.com

"Unprofessional and unscripted act late in ECW show

Several people live, as well as WWE sources, have confirmed that during the brawl at the end of tonight's ECW PPV, that JBL went after Blue Meanie and threw several real punches at his face, bloodying him up. A lot of the wrestlers who were in the ring and saw this looked really mad. Reports were Al Snow, who trained Meanie, visually looked the most upset. The two have heat dating back to Meanie's days in WWF, and JBL cut a promo on Meanie on Smackdown which was edited off the show a few weeks back."

What a fuckin' dick. I was actually starting to like him, too. Way to go, JBL. But you don't care, do you? I'm just an internet fan, after all.

HATE Friday

I'm ill today. And also still unemployed. I HATE where I'm at right now. I need a real job for a few months, until I can get myself right enough to rededicate myself to school full time. I'm supposed to be working construction for my brother in law, but God knows when that job's going to start. It was originally two Mondays ago.

Oh well. Bright side is, best Saturday ever tomorrow.

(I typed "Hate Friday" into Google's image search, and the first thing that came up was a picture of Joe Strummer. So here it is, just for added value.)

Quote of the day... no, month... no, EVER!

"Garth Brooks did for country music, what panty hose did for finger fucking." Waylon MOTHER FUCKING Jennings

Never let it be said that I don't think "Friends in Low Places" is a serious jam, but this quote is right on and pretty much the most awesome thing to ever come out of anyone's mouth in the history of speech.

Whither Smackdown?

Tues Aug 09

WWE PRESENTS SMACKDOWN! - Columbus, OH 7:30 PM Anybody want to go? I ain't goin' alone. But I need a live wrestling fix. This would be a television taping.

A 'Rama Filled Future?

According to Billy West's website (I had no idea he was Doug Funnie and Roger Klotz. I can totally hear it in my head now, though. That's so awesome), he's been approached about doing not one, not two, but THREE direct to DVD "Futurama" movies. EEP. Let's just enjoy this moment, shall we?

I realize of course that it's easier to bring an animated show back together what with not having to concern yourself with aging and the like, but along with "Family Guy", this makes two network television shows resurrected by strong DVD sales in the past year alone. What's next? I'd be all for a mid '80s revisiting of "Freaks and Geeks". Oh yes I would.


12 foot tall Sam Weir prepares to crush Tokyo

Say it with me, Lee: PAUL FEIG!