My Life at the Movies, January 2009

An ongoing series chronicling my love of the big screen.

January 16th: Gateway



January 19th: Marcus Cinema Crosswoods



January 20th: The Lennox

Drive-by Blogging

Got poked by Dr. Yang, bled a little, don't really feel any different, didn't fall asleep, music was peaceful, two more sessions scheduled for next week, hope this works, peace.

Workin' Hard

Sometimes you're faced with a task that really doesn't seem too daunting from the outside, but then when you begin looking a little deeper, you realize how monumentally screwed you are. I'm supposed to produce some kind of written medical history for crazy needle lady, 1999-2009. Every drug, every dosage, every test, every syncopal episode. It's gonna be a heck of an afternoon. I may need to blow off some steam tonight, if anyone's interested in getting together somewhere in the frozen wasteland.

Ambivalence

I get very stir crazy sitting in my house all the time but I'm seriously becoming terrified that I'm going to turn my brains into scrambled eggs at the rate I'm going. I'm running low on ideas, and I refuse to wear a bike helmet when I go out for walks. I just can't do it. If this acupuncture thing doesn't yield results, I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I've been chasing my own tail for the past thirteen months, and really, the past nine and a half years.

Kraft Foods Believes in Alternative Medicine, And Thus Believe in ME!

On Friday afternoon, I am going in for my first (and possibly last) acupuncture session in Gahanna. A woman named Wang is going to stick needles in me to try and undizzy my head. Yep. I'm willing to literally try anything at this point.

On a serious note, I actually know several people who have reported good results from this treatment, so fingers crossed and all that. Hopefully it'll be worth it to risk the death of a thousand papercuts.

Something for the Ladies

Let's hear it for the winner of the 2009 Royal Rumble!



Here's your wacky wrestling rumor of the day, courtesy The Man, The Myth, The Mullet, Dave Meltzer. We may be in for Chris Jericho versus MICKEY ROURKE at Wrestlemania. In a wrestling match. Yes. I don't know how I feel about this yet.

Still the King

Fedor Emelianenko is the greatest man I've ever seen in any athletic endeavor. Better even than Jay Burson or Eric Keith Davis. In celebration of Fedor's first round knockout of the Doof From Belarus Andrei Arlovski, join me in honoring him in pictures!

The Sun is Gonna Surely Shine

Every once in a while, something comes out on DVD that catches me completely off-guard.

This Tuesday is once in a while.



SEASONS ONE AND TWO! How can one possibly react to that!?


WHOA!

Of course, this will probably be much like when Doogie Howser was released on DVD and I went on to do absolutely nothing about it.

Oh, and to heck with the vast majority of Columbus, Ohio sports bars for opting not to show the Affliction pay per view tonight. Fedor can kill men with or without me watching, but still, I really wanted to see it. Plus, Josh Barnett might give a Dutch man a Michinoku Driver.

Bummer

I just had one of those dreams where you wake up and it's all still very hazy and the line between the waking world and the dream world is blurred and you think it all might have happened. It didn't. I wish it had. It was all sexy and whatnot. No matter. The Future Ex-Mrs. Napier will be mine some day!

We Can Do It!

The 22nd annual ROYAL RUMBLE is on Sunday, and I for one, am greatly excited. I'm very intrigued by the John Cena versus JBL and Shawn Michaels storyline, and Jeff Hardy versus Edge should be a VERY good match. Beyond that, the Rumble itself is almost always entertaining and this year there is no real obvious winner going in, which makes things more fun as well.

Sunday, January 25th, 8:00 pm, my house! WE CAN ORDER FOOD.

The Daily Update

My Ohio State widget functions worse than the actual team did last night. Maybe it'll still think they're undefeated in the conference at the end of the season. That would be great.

Dave and I actually did end up seeing a matinee of MBV3D last night. It sucked. Not much more to say, although... if I had seen it in NOT 3D, I can't even imagine how bored I would have been, so I have to at least give the format itself some credit.

My Bloody Pal O' Mine (Ugh)

If anyone's interested in seeing My Bloody Valentine 3D tonight, it looks like the best bet is going to be the Arena Grand. 9 dollars for adults, 7 dollars if you have a student ID, valid or otherwise. I actually HAVE been a student recently and am still using a six year old card. Anyhow, the show is at 8:05, and Dave and I will be going, so we could conceivably ferry a couple other people downtown if need be. Call me or respond here if you're interested.



IMPORTANT UPDATE: The Arena Grand does NOT have the 3D version of the film. It is ELEVEN DOLLARS to see this movie in that format. Allow me to consider this for a mo-BWAHAHAHAHAHA. No buys. Literally.

A Contentious Statement, Part II

Never Surrender is by far Corey Hart's greatest song. And not just because of the tie-in to Tim Allen's catchphrase in the fantastic Galaxy Quest.


This would, by definition, make for a poor movie. Like "Lolita".

Oh, and also, my parents have been married for thirty years today. Pretty cool.

Too Much Stuff

There are three pay per view events in an eight day span that I badly want to watch before the end of the month.

Sunday the 25th is Royal Rumble, but I'm going to order that at my house so that's easy.



Saturday the 31st is UFC 94: Penn versus St. Pierre II which I should at the very least be able to watch at BW3's.



The wild card is Saturday the 24th, and the Affliction pay per view with the Fedor Emelianenko/Andrei Arlovski main event. I don't know if bars will be showing it.



TIME FOR PLOTTING

P.S. I vote the UFC event as having the coolest poster of the three.

A Contentious Statement

There has never been a good movie that's poster featured a principal character coyly looking over the rims of their sunglasses. They Live does not count, as Roddy Piper is clearly frightened and disturbed, not coy.









THOUGHTS?

BRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm considering going to see The Wrestler this morning over at the ol' Gateway, but by my calculations I have a roughly one percent chance of making it there without freezing to death. Will my ProWresLove win out over my desire to not die from exposure? Maybe I'll compromise and just watch some more of the new Edge DVD instead. He has long hair and uses anabolic steroids. And possesses great teeth, apparently. So that's one up on Mickey Rourke.



Also, tonight the Kentucky Kid falls to the Nappy Dugout. YOU READ IT HERE FIRST.

Honesty

I just spent the last twenty minutes inflating a balance ball. About ten minutes in, I looked at its sunken form and wondered if it was even worth it. Since I was about halfway done, I decided to keep going and now, I have a balance ball. Abs beware!

This post was a blatant effort to keep the January streak going.

Andy is the Best

I slipped and fell on the ice last night, en route to Ruby Tuesday for Broin' Down. Since this was a surface-related issue and not a passing out-related issue, I managed to tuck my head into my chest for once and thus did not suffer a concussion! Instead, I pulled a muscle in my back and another in my stomach. I'm still looking on the bright side of not smashing my head into bits.

I'm excited because I'm going to teach Amanda and Lucas how to play FIRE PRO tonight.

Let's see... what else is there? Broin' Down was good, as it always is. More pro-wrestling heavy than any I remember recently. Also, mark it down that the price of happy hour pitchers has SHOT UP from $3.50 to $4.00. Outrageous.

My Bloody Valentine 3D is at the Lennox on Friday night at 10:55. As far as I can tell, that's the latest 3D showing of the film in Columbus that evening, so it looks like it'll be the Dave-approved screening for those interested in going. Hopefully a few people will go along. I haven't seen him this excited about a movie since the Halloween remake.

Broin' Down 20: One Score and Seven Beers Ago

As I'll probably be in no state to write an entry after the Barry Sanders honorarium edition of Broin' Down, I thought I'd put some things up now, before the debauchery.

Mickey Rourke won the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Drama Sunday night. This movie is really getting my expectations up. I can only hope it's as good as the previous The Wrestler was/is.

Taking the Stone is the stupidest Farscape adventure ever. So stupid that I think this is the third time I've had to write about it on this here blog. The worst thing about the episode is that it makes ME feel stupid because while I've seen it probably eight times, I still have absolutely no idea why anybody does anything that they do in it. Actually, that's not true. After a few viewings I kind of figured out Crichton's motivations, but I'll be damned if I can determine why anybody else in that episode even bothers to get out of bed in the morning.

John Cena's finishing maneuver has undergone a name change. No longer the F-U, it is now THE THROWBACK. He already had a move called The Throwback, so I don't know what this means for that move. Also, his STFU submission hold is now just the STF. Kid friendly!

Speaking of WWE, I'm actually very amped up of late about the product. The RAW side at least. I never thought I'd type these words, or even think them, but I really want to see JBL beat Cena for the World title at the Royal Rumble, and then lose to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 25. Perfect time for it. They'll be in Houston, Shawn will be over like a god, and if anyone is going to drag a classic match out of JBL, it's him.

I got a Chikara DVD in the mail. It's wacky. That's really all I can say about it.

Okay. Enough of this! BROIN' DOWN TIME!

So, about this "The Wrestler" movie...

I... ahem, could possibly have a means of viewing this film without all of us paying money to a movie theater. *clears throat* So, if we want to do it that way, we could. You know, hypothetically. What do you say?

Official Broin' Down Business

Broin' Down 20: Tuesday the 13th, Jason BROs to Hell is set for this, well, Tuesday. Sadly, Jason will not be in attendance. Jason Sharp, that is. I'm really not sure about Jason Vorhees. I haven't asked him. If he shows, fine, we'll cross that bridge. Anyway, you all know the drill. 7-10, laughs, political discourse, B-movie chatter. Good times.

BORDER(S)ing on Theft

Thanks to Borders Bucks, I came away with three new DVDs this afternoon. In order from least gay to most:

Oldboy - Nothing at all gay about amateur dentistry and death by claw hammer.

Fright Night - Vampires are a little bit gay.

Four Weddings and a Funeral - A Hugh Grant film.

D-Lo Down :(

WWE, amidst their cost-cutting measures despite being more profitable than ever before, has released Acie Connor, aka D-Lo Brown, aka the black wrestling Jesus. I don't recognize anymore, D-Lo. I just don't. :*(



I almost blame him. He should have brought back the chest protector. That's money.

And for Lee: Chyna, Chyna Doll, Chynna, Chynna Doll, Joanie Laurer, Joanie Lee, Just Joanie

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Val Venis has also been cut. THIS IS A SHENANIGAN. The entire opening match from 1998's Summerslam is now unemployed. January 9th will live in infamy!



On the other hand, maybe he and the Godfather can re-form their short lived "Supply and Demand" tag team, which I consider to be one of the top five tag team names ever conceived, real or imagined.

Irrational Anger + Problem Solving

I woke up at 4:30 this morning, feeling quite the draft. So I EXTREME HOME MAKEOVERED my window. YEAH, BOY. Plastic, double sided tape and a hair dryer later, Mother Nature has met her match and I'm toasty warm! DEAL WITH IT, Gaea!

I... Overindulged

Suffice to say I had a great time last night between mall trolling at Tuttle, dinner at Panda Inn, exposing three people to the wonders of Wrestling Society X, and somehow winding up on Cleveland Avenue inside a Meijer at 4 am. Paid for it today though. No regrets. Thanks for coming out, you seven awesome folks.

Amanda And Lucas For The Win

Never have I been so touched than when Amanda walked into her living room with this on a platter. And it tasted great to boot! Thank you so much!

Lines form on my face and hands

Well, Katie just woke me up with a phone call to tell me that I'm old, so I might as well update here before conking back out.

At 9 am (eight hours or so from when I'm typing this) I will have been officially rockin' the party that rocks the body for twenty-six years. Still feeling pretty okay about this one, as mentioned a couple of days ago.

As for tonight, who wants to drink and hang out!?

Shut-in

I just realized something. I haven't seen another human being in over seventy-two hours.



If only I had his pocketbook.

Gene Autry and Me

Last year at around this time, I was on the cusp of turning twenty-five years old, and I got really depressed over it. For me, it was one of those landmark days where I'd lived a quarter of a century and I looked back on all that I'd accomplished, or not accomplished. More the latter, really. I went out on my birthday and drank, but that was really all I did to mark the occasion. In retrospect, I'm not sure why I let it get to me so much. As Aaliyah sang years before her fiery death, "Age ain't nothing but a number." Anyhow, I turn twenty-six on Monday, and to be perfectly honest, all I want to do is drink with my friends. So, let's make that happen, huh?

Ashley and Franz are Wrong

Unlike them, I enjoyed Kat Dennings' cleavage... I mean, the film The House Bunny. Yes.


The victory of boobs

Happy New Year

2008 is over. Praise be.