TNA Out, Summerslam UP!

TNA is apparently doing a domestic strife storyline with Kurt Angle, his wife Karen, and their four year old daughter. Yes. One month after Chris Benoit MURDERED HIS WIFE AND CHILD.

If that wasn't bad enough, they've signed Pacman Jones. To do what? Hard to say. But whatever it may be, I'm not going to be watching it. Good job there, TNA. You had me back for two weeks and you already blew it.

On a positive tip, Summerslam looks awesome with a rematch of Jeff Hardy versus Umaga, and Randy Orton versus John Cena, both of which I'm very much looking forward to. Way to go, WWE. I never would have guessed I'd be excited for something in wrestling so soon after all the bullshit of last month, yet here we are. WOOOOOOOOO!

I say those of us gathering for the Summerslam show head out to China Buffet for dinner beforehand in support of F4W's 3rd Annual Super China Buffet Day. Word.

Hey, it's BJ Novak's birthday, which I don't really care too much about, though it does give me a nice segue.


I hear she may work with this Novak character.

Tojo wackiness, wizardry, conversion, and Jenna!

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns or Fire Pro R is coming to the United States. LEGALLY. It's going to be in stores and everything. Just in time for the second anniversary of its release! WOOOOOO! If Lee or Franz still read this blog, they'd recall my giddiness over ordering Fire Pro Wrestling D for the venerable SEGA Dreamcast back in '01. So obviously, I'm excited for this. EXTREMELY EXCITED!


Now hold on one second. You're telling me I can be JEFF JARRETT in this here video game? SOLD!

As advertised yesterday, here are my thoughts on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It was pretty good. I can't use those weird horses that only Harry and crazy girl can see, especially when they don't hang a lantern on the scene where everyone else is riding them and apparently having no issues with invisible beasts. Also, I can't use how they just dropped the Cho romance subplot, even after she was exonerated. Further, aside from one major death, the only thing that happens in this movie from beginning to end is that people become increasingly convinced that Voldemort is actually back. Whoopie. I think I saw this trailer for a future movie once already. It was called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Harrumph. Still, it was an effective trailer, as I'm jazzed for Half Blood Prince.


Radcliffe, you dog. Hey, is Emma Hotson legal yet?

My friend Josh has been converted to The Office. It was quite a weird deal, as he looked at my blog a week ago and saw all of the Jenna love, and was like, "BLAH THE OFFICE I WISH I COULD BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND LIKE THAT SHOW BUT IT'S NOT GOOD". So I was all, "K." And then the next day, he IM'ed me with the information that he was watching the second episode of season one and that season two was in the process of downloading... er... being legally... purchased. Yeah. Anyway, odd lad, Josh. But in the spirit of him coming around, I dedicate today's Jenna to Josh!


Emma Watson is but a girl. THIS is a woman.

Fatigue Sets In

Long past couple of days, mainly Saturday. I'm happy to help friends move, because that's what you do when a friend moves, but it's not fun. Not even a little bit. Jason bailing before we could have a proper post-game dinner didn't help in that regard, as Andrew and I did little more than stare at one another and mention how tired we were every few seconds. He's my boy though, so I reckon I'll be in it to win it this time next year as well.

I got a Myspace message from Mandy, a greeting from the land of blue grass. Things seem to have gone well with the move, and I'm already counting the days until we head down to visit.

That may literally be all I have.

Oh, I saw Harry Potter 5 today. I'll post some thoughts on it tomorrow. Just can't think of anything right now. BEDTIME.


When Jenna smiles, life ain't so hard. Or, you know, ain't so frowny. Literally. Because one less person is frowning. Ya heard?

Beat the Clock

This should be good. I'm about five minutes away from going to help Andrew move all of his worldly belongings a few blocks from where they are now. Also adding to crunch time is the fact that I'm currently burning a DVD, so everything is dragggggggggggggggging. So let's get to it!

Of last night's equation, I pretty much hit all of the addends. Movie, while not very good or anything like that, did take place. Beer, certainly took place. Cigarettes, in small part thanks to the third string free cigarette mafia peddling KOOLs, also occurred. I only set my sights on one campus rat, and she's not even from this campus. She was being wooed by some other dude though, so no go for that one. But I would have scammed, I would have! The variable that I did not figure into the equation was illicit puffing! I was whacked out of my skull at about 4 am and only Fudgcicles could satisfy me tempestuous hunger. Fortunately, I had some. Anyway, it is now time to go. No segue for Jenna today, so you'll just have to deal.


Angela has an Emmy. Seriously now. Jenna has to win, right?

Fun with math

So, here's my evening.

Movie, beer, cigarettes, scamming on campus rats. Let's see what it adds up to!




+



+



+



=



BALLIN'!


More trophies this fall please!

Gilless. :(

As noted on Monday, a hot to trot complete series set (42 discs, 153 episodes) of Chicas Gilmore is coming in November, and I had immediately put it in my head that I would go out and sell my individual seasons for fun and profit. I didn't realize that that day would come so soon. I had some time to kill after school, and... I went... and sold them. And now, November feels very far away, and there is a hole in my life. I just want to say a couple of things. Thanks to Ashley for introducing me to the show during the salad days of our much lamented Tuesday TV night. Thanks to KJ for encouraging my mania. Thanks to Andrew for making as many gay jokes as possible at the height of my obsession. I truly believe that these jabs kept me from completely losing my mind with passion for the show. Thanks to Mandy, whose recent friendship and common interest in the subject matter reignited my love for the wacky denizens of Stars Hollow. And finally, thanks to my most cherished cousin Annie, who loaned me season one and five as I set about watching the show from end to end one last time (until the Christmas season, that is).

Actually, there's one more person to thank: Lauren Graham.



While not a part of my Holy Trinity of TV Babes, Lauren was really my most favorite small screen vixen after my Jennifer Aniston fascination fizzled and BJ (Before Jenna). That's... I don't like that. BJE (Before Jenna Era). Somewhat better. Anyhow, Ms. Graham went from being "that chick I remember from a couple episodes of Caroline in the City" to "that 'fuck me Santa' chick from Bad Santa" to a welcome sight each and every Tuesday night on the gone but not forgotten WB Network. While her show took a turn for the worse (and sometimes the patently absurd) in its last two seasons, Lauren (not to mention Scott Patterson, who as you'll see in the picture below, is like THE WORLD'S MOST AWESOME DUDE) kept me coming back every week. I hope she manages to get a meatier project than Evan Almighty in her next foray onto the big screen.


And I thought he was cool before I knew this.

As broken up as I am to be leading a life without Gilmore Girls, we're just one day shy of two months away from the fourth season premiere of the best show on television ever, The Office. I'm not supposed to mention such things when Andrew is in ear (or eye) shot, so I imagine he's trying to punch something right about now, wondering how he'll weather the next sixty days. Maybe this will help.


I've never hated text so much.

Aural Death

I got a CD from Camel. It has 11 tracks on it. I don't know what to make of this. Does the CD emit nicotine through my speakers or something? I liked it when cigarettes were simpler. You just smoked them and your clothes smelled bad. This is adding too many dimensions to it.

I'm actually listening to this CD right now, and it kind of reminds me of the whinier aspects of the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 soundtrack. That's not a ringing endorsement.

My PC speakers are f'd in the a. Not cool. Cannot use.

I'm going to hang out with Chops and Mandy FOR THE LAST TIME EVER. This week. Peace.

UPDATE: Just got back from stoopin' it with Mandy, Chops, and Funky D. I brought a bottle of Bombay dry gin with me and we pretty well annihilated that. A six of Red Stripe, a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights and a listening party of Tomy Petty and the Heartbreakers Greatest Hits later and it was ON. Good times, and I'm really going to miss those two living in Columbus. I guess I'd better fine tune my palate for bourbon as I prepare to make many trips southward to the great state of Kentucky for visits. Good times tonight, though. Very good times. Oh, and Chops bequeathed me Back to School starring Rodney Dangerfield as well as one of those DVD 4 packs Bad Brothas-Mean Muthas, featuring Fred Williamson, Ohio gubernatorial candidate Billy Dee Williams, Lola Falana, and the great "Mean" Joe Greene. Judging by the cover art, Pam Grier should be somewhere in there, so I hope it's not just false advertising. Anyway, thank you... and good night!


I really like this picture, but the ALIVE is a little distracting.

Where is Lee?

Seriously, why am I doing this blog if Lee Masheter isn't reading it anymore? Sure, I found a gimmick/passion that makes it much easier for me to post regularly, but without readers, I'm shouting into the abyss! THE ABYSS I TELL YOU.

Sorry. I still appreciate you, Andrew. And Adam, occasionally. Jackson, get with it. Cody, Jason, I know you're reading. Stop being punks and comment.

Nothing much to report today. I've sill got that Islands song stuck in my head. I thought that listening to it a bunch would drive it away but it's clinging on more tenaciously than ever. How great is Poppa Large by Ultramagnetic MCs though, huh? Seriously, man.

I re-registered at this message board I went to a lot back in 2003 or so called Pro Wrestling Scoops. It was always pretty bad, but at least back then it was small enough to have useful conversations about the Professional Wrestling. Now it's got a jillion members and they all just post without reading anything anyone said prior in a given thread. Awful. Even though it was worthless even in its heyday, there were always a least 30 people signed on at any given time of day just waiting to get outraged by me posting a short story about my homosexual relationship with Jeff Hardy, or talking about how rad blowing pot smoke into my cat's face when Bill Goldberg comes to the ring is. Now, say anything like that, and it's the BANHAMMER before you even know what hit you. Squares.

Whatever though. Outtie 5k


Check out Fancy New Beesly with her Blackberry. Ballin'!

Creepin' on a Come Up

Sitting here waiting for young Keith Jackson to call... if it were March I could watch some basketball. Rip rap rippity roo.

Yep, Keith and I have been HELD UP by complications with our entirely legitimate planned method of viewing WWE's Great American Bash pay per view. Since it is now 9:48 and he lives across town, my assumption is that we won't be watching this thing tonight. He's supposed to call me back when it finishes uh... being legally purchased, at which point we may have a LIVE BLOG UPDATE where I tell you all what he says!

Hey, I just saw THIS (below), which means I may be selling off my seasons 2, 3, and 4 in the very near future in preparation for spending way too much money on something with slick packaging. Ballin'!


I'm such a girl. A GILMORE GIRL THAT IS. HAHAHAHAHAPUN

I went to the ol' Rumba Cafe for happy hour this afternoon/evening. WITH MY DAD. That was a Hell of a thing. Apparently this is going to be our new Monday dealy bob from now on. Whatever. Three free beers is better than NOT three free beers.

Jason is hollering at me on the AIM box different things he's planning to shout at Andrew during the Jimmy Eat World concert. His take on the harsh, harsh rhetoric (which will not be reposted here) "in a way im alot like jesus. WATCH! as i turn ORDINARY words into the best sort of INSULTS! the PERSONAL kind!" I love Jason.

There's some Anniversary special edition of The Monster Squad out on DVD soon, and I wish I remembered more from that movie than something about the Wolf Man having nards.

Speaking of DVDs, why don't I own LolliLove? It's a mockumentary distributed by Troma starring, written, and directed by Jenna Fischer. How much of a slam dunk is that for me? And yet I don't own this thing. What the fuck is the matter with me?


That's her husband there with her. It won't last.

I have absolutely no idea why I titled this blog entry what I did. Just that I needed something and it popped into my head.

Keith just called. GUESS WHAT? Not watching the Bash! It's okay. We'll get there. With time. And love. And patience.

Which I'm fresh out of for the night. Peace, Connecticut!


I'll order the DVD. I swear!

Beer Was Drunk, Respect Was Earned, and Dunder Mifflin Was Saved by Nappy and Funky D!

Fun little weekend, I must say. Funky D and myself killed off the rest of The Office season 3 on Saturday evening before heading to the Liberry to get our learn on, in the form of two lovely pitchers of Molson Canadian (provided by Funk Doctor D himself). Reading never tasted so good. Among topics discussed; cheap music downloading, the questionable value of main eventers in TNA, the death of Wildman Steve, Rudy Ray Moore's upcoming schedule, and most of all, how The Office makes us sad and melancholy while at the same time enriching us with laughs. Because that's how life is. A big ol' wacky grab bag of sad and funny. Or if you're to believe Jimmy Pop, "short and hard like a bodybuilding elf."


Can you say "horrifying?"

Don't worry. That doesn't count against your Jenna pic of the day. I wouldn't do that to you, baby.

Tonight was more good times, as I did homework. A lot of it! I read two plays! Don't doubt my work ethic! Anyway, Keith and Andrew came over and we watched the very first Ring of Honor pay per view, entitled RoH: Respect is Earned. Dramatic, yes? Anyway, it was a two-hour, five match presentation from the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan, and it wasssssss rad. TV room favorite "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce was ballin'. Also, the wrestling was good. KENTAAAAAA.


KENTA is friend to all children.

Next pay per view is sometime in September, which is almost literally what the announce team told us. Vague = pay per view buys! Make it a mystery for your target audience to solve.

Keith and I will be watching the Great American Bash tomorrow night through COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE MEANS. So that should be fun.

Speaking of going to jail for piracy, this outfit oughta be ILLEGAL!


What's that? "Nice segue?" Why thank you!

TV crushes, Heroes, and Impact?

I had a very specific goal in mind last night: to see the Heroes of History. I wasn't there to see the Brown Notes, or ROFFLE Factory or ROFLAMO or whatever that headlining band was called. I was there to see the Heroes. So I don't feel bad that I left soon after their opening set. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD, Andrew.

Okay then. Heroes of History were true ballers last night, and maybe it's just me, but I'm on a mini-run of revisiting bands and them suddenly improving by a million percent. I wouldn't put the now-defunct Tildebang up with the Heroes or anything, but you see my point. Anyway, the ol' HoH were slammin' last night, thrashing away and annihilating all false rockers in earshot. It was a good time, and then I had a good night's sleep. Because I've got it like that.

***************************************

Now, a couple of words about TNA's flagship program, Impact. I watched this show yesterday afternoon, having recorded it on Thursday night. I hadn't watched an episode in roughly two and a half grips (that's six months or so to the uninitiated), as I was very wary about supporting a product that Vince Russo was steering creatively. After a month or so of viewing his version of Impact back in the fall, my misgivings were proven valid and I gave up on it, vowing to wait out Russo.

Now, I don't know exactly what the creative situation is with the company right now, but it appears that Russo has a quieter voice than he did initially, as his fingerprints were only evident in the backstage skits, and not so much the booking of the actual matches. I give them points for that. The whole reason I decided to give the show another shot this week is that Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez had both been writing/saying lately that the show was more reigned in, more logical, and better paced. I ignored their words at first, figuring that the moment I chose to tune in, they'd put the X Division title on Billy Gunn or something. But after a few weeks of hammering it in that the product really was improving, I gave it a shot. And...

Not bad. Three matches, all fairly short but long enough to tell their particular story, and I think I'll watch again next week. Now... here's my big problem with the show, one that doesn't bother me so much as a fan, but makes me deeply concerned for them as a company going forward:

Their top heel is a complete goof. Kurt Angle, the TNA World Champion, spent the entire episode either in a tanning bed or running around backstage in a Speedo, trying to find his clothes. Now, I will grant you that it was somewhat entertaining, because Kurt is a great performer when the camera goes on, and he made it work to some degree. And this kind of stuff plays to Vince Russo's... uh, "strengths", I guess? Anyway, it's where he's most useful. But of all people, Kurt Angle should know better. No matter how funny he is in the role of bumbling world champion, this should all feel very familiar to him. It wasn't all too many years ago that he was a comedy heel in the WWF, wearing tiny cowboy hats, strumming ukuleles, and trading hugs with Steve Austin. All of those things were awesome as a fan, and I loved him during that time period. But when it came time to turn him face and put him on top of the company, he flopped. "We're supposed to pay (then) thirty bucks every month to see the cowboy hat guy?" seemed to be the mood of the fans. And when trying in later years to use him as a serious, killer heel, the sentiment was similar.

TNA had a fresh start with Kurt Angle, a fanbase willing to forget his comedic past because they so badly wanted a real superstar as the face of their company, and most of all, a wrestler who was desperate to prove his detractors wrong. And then they fell back into the same traps and shortcuts that critics lambasted WWF for in their misuse of him.

I've set my DVR to record Impact again this week, and I expect it to be a nice, light show with a couple of amusing stunt matches thrown in, but I can't say after this past week that I'm ready to throw money at the company any time soon.

****************************

Now, for the REAL content.

I was thinking this morning about crushes I've had throughout my life, whether it be an elementary school teacher, a girl from my church's youth group, or Zach Braff. And it occurred to me that outside of real life, crushes become much safer. You never have to worry about acting on the boner you get whenever you see a shot of Jessica Biel bending over to pick something up, because you're never going to meet her. Ditto that for making a fool of yourself out of love for Norah Jones, because you'll never get with twenty feet of her before security has tasered you to the ground and all you can taste for the next week is copper.

Now, it's not difficult for me to watch that trailer for I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and get a tingly feeling for Ms. Biel, or to see an interview with Norah Jones promoting an album and want to tenderly ply her with the real power of my love. The reality is, though... these are fleeting. Jessica Biel is a movie star now, with films coming out a couple of times a year. Sure she was on a TV show that airs in syndication every day, but for the bulk of it she was underage and I'm not that much of a creep. As for Norah, an album coming out every couple years is hardly enough to sustain true love. So for me, it's always been TV gals that have done it. Women I see on a week to week basis, that I can keep coming back to for a new episode. I even wait out the barren summer wasteland for the ladies with series that aren't year-round, and in the fall, my love returns, IN FULL FLOWER.

Anyhow, the point of all this is that crushes are a blast, especially fictitious ones based solely on one's television persona. So I present to you, gentle reader, Andy's Top 3 Television Crushes of ALL TIME.

Number 3: Vanna White



Yes, that's right, Vanna White. She's fifty now (and still a complete and total 2), which means at the time I developed my crush, she was... already past 30. Crazy. Anyway, I watched a lot of Wheel in my formative years (it was the first place I ever heard the name George Bush) and she always just seemed so glamorous, up there turning over the letters. It was pretty much over for me and Vanna once I saw Star Wars, and Princess Leia was my girl for a while there. Even after that crush faded, I never went back to Wheel of Fortune. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Number 2: Jennifer Aniston



Most of you who know me now are well aware of this chapter of my life. While I ended up enjoying it quite a bit, I didn't even like F*R*I*E*N*D*S in its first couple of seasons, watching the show week in and week out for one reason and one reason only: Jennifer. My love and devotion for Ms. Aniston was so well known that in 9th grade, a girl with a big crush on me called Emily (last name left a MYSTERY to protect myself from older brothers everywhere) tore out features of her in fashion magazines to give to me. If only she had known how I would use them... you know, when I made my Jennifer Aniston collage. What were you thinking? Anyway, after a couple of heartstopping brushes with marriage, including being engaged to that dork Tate Donovan, Jen finally tied the knot with Brad Pitt. My crush largely subsided after that, but I still have a certain affection towards her that I got over completely in regards to Vanna.

Number 1: Jenna Fischer



No shock here. It's entirely possible that with the benefit of hindsight that she wouldn't rank this high (after all, the Aniston thing lasted over five years), but I doubt it. There's just too much to love about Jenna, even aside from her being a slammin' hottie. Actress, writer, director, blogger, and zombie lover, Jenna Fischer truly is a Renaissance Woman, and I couldn't be happier to love her from afar.

What a creepy blog entry this was.

Short and sweet

Saw a picture somewhere I wanted to post, and then the obligatory Jenna pic to round it out.





Out of steam. I'll do better tomorrow.

The nominations are in

Comedy Series: The Office

Lead Actor: Steve Carell

Supporting Actor: Rainn Wilson

Supporting Actress: Jenna Fischer

And then some editing, directing, and writing flummery. Looks like the cast and show itself did pretty well for itself. FALSE. I am not happy. I cannot US this. Yes, U-S. JUSTICE FOR KRASINSKI!


No, John! Keep them on! You don't want to hear the news!

Farscape is, according to an E-mail Jason sent me, returning to life in some form or another, most likely as 10 webisodes, each 3-5 minutes long. Look, Farscape is a great, great show, and it ended at least two seasons too soon, but webisodes? Really? This is seriously one of my top 5 favorite television shows of all time, and even I'm rooting against this prospect. Why half-ass it? It'll only sully the product that's already there. I say NAY to this.


Will Browder be there? Will I care? Will it just please stop!?

As I noted to Andrew last night, when I posted the pic of Jenna in lingerie on July 14th, I thought that maybe I should have saved it for ten years down the line, as the final Jenna Fischer picture ever, and possibly just the end of my blog once and for all. "This can never be topped" I thought. And then... there was yesterday's picture. I clearly did not learn the lessons of the lingerie pic, because I should have saved the side butt towel shot for about six lifetimes from now. It's all downhill from here, folks. But hey, there's no such thing as a bad picture of Jenna Fischer.


All right, Krasinski. You've had a bad day. You earned a little hug. BUT THIS IS AS FAR AS IT GOES.

Wack rappers, wacky casts, bad comedians getting whacked... and Jenna

I hate Nas and think he's pretty wack, but I like It Ain't Hard to Tell off the first album. I saw the video for it today on Youtube and had happy flashbacks to being 11.

I though that the upcoming season of VH1's venerable old warhorse The Surreal Life had wrapped months ago, but apparently it hasn't even begun filming yet. MISS CLEO is in the cast, along with Randy Savage, Dabney Coleman, and Carrot Top. Yes, THAT Carrot Top.

Carrot Top picture removed for burning my eyes.

Jon Lovitz kicked Andy Dick's ass. For real.

Here's the trail of tears, from the Onion's AV Club:

Lovitz and Dick have been at loggerheads since a 1997 Christmas party at Hartman's house, five months before his troubled wife Brynn flipped out, fatally shooting Hartman, then killing herself. "Andy was doing cocaine, and he gave Brynn some after she had been sober for 10 years. Phil was furious about it - and then five months later he's dead," said Lovitz, adding that when he filled in on Hartman's "Newsradio" sitcom, "I told Andy, 'I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't given Brynn that cocaine.' "

Wow. It gets worse.

Last year, Lovitz related, a drunken Dick strolled up to his table at Ago in West Hollywood, rudely downed his guests' peach liqueur drinks, and "looked at me and said, 'I put the "Phil Hartman hex" on you - you're the next one to die.' I said, 'What did you say?' and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women."

I love Lovitz. LOVITZ OR LEAVEITZ!

When the two ran into each other at the Laugh Factory last Wednesday, "I wanted him to say he was sorry for the 'Phil Hartman hex,' " Lovitz told us. "First he says, 'I don't remember saying that.' Then he leans in and says, 'You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.' Which I never said."

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

"Then he asked me to be in his new movie," Lovitz said. "I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, 'I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!' I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I'm not proud of it . . . but he's a disgusting human being."

PREACH

Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, "Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose." Lovitz told Page Six, "All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole."

WOO!!!!!!!



I can think of only one way to POSSIBLY follow that insane story...


(Contented sigh)

Bored Now

What's that? A picture of Jenna Fischer that perfectly conveys my current emotional state? What luck!

Emmy nominations come out on Thursday. Clean sweep for The Office, please. Recognition for Carell, Krasinski, Fischer, Wilson and the show itself would be super duper.

I know I said that I wasn't going to bring it up here again, but the Benoit toxicology report comes out today at 2:30 pm EST. I hope to God that he was on every substance under the sun, fully exposing WWE's Wellness Policy for the sham that it is. I don't want to be holier than thou about drug use, because it is a personal choice and WWE has been unfairly raked over the coals some. However, I'm sick and fucking tired of wrestlers that I grew up with dying at a clip of over five per year over the past ten years, all under fifty years of age. As Lex Luger once (in)famously said, "I'm pissed now!"

Scott Baio Is 45... And Single is incredible. I watched the premiere episode yesterday afternoon, and dear God what a show. It's really slick and post-produced to the point that Baio is doing his own voiceover work, but for a weekly jolt of celebreality, it's fine stuff. Also, ERIC BISCHOFF is an executive producer. He'd better show up at some point, like he did on Hogan Knows Best, just randomly knocking on the Hulkster's door while the cameras were rolling. I really hope that the big reveal at the end of Scott Baio is him coming to terms with his latent homosexuality. Either that or slammin' it to Denise Richards one more time. I'd be fine either way, honestly.

This semi-daily content stuff is working out well so far. Hopefully readership will start picking back up. At this point, I think Andrew and both have one reader who isn't either of us.

Regardless, it's been nice to get back on the horse this past week or so. Hope that you all enjoy it too when you come back around.

Oh the Things I Know

I learned something on Saturday. Something that I probably already knew on some level, but was made abundantly clear to me that night, hanging out at Annie's apartment. Here it is: don't buy DVDs when you're in a relationship, because you make spotty choices. Eight days shy of THREE AND A HALF YEARS AGO I did a little blog write up related to my trip to the movie house to see Win a Date With Tad Hamilton, starring my at the time man crush Topher Grace, not in the titular role. Anyway, I made that entry right about http://napdaddy.blogspot.com/2004/01/where-christopher-robin-plays.html and at the time remarked that the film was "positively decent." FALSE. I bought it on DVD when it came out, WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP, and watched it one more time in the past three years. After that, it was just a movie in the "W" section of my DVD library. Somehow, I thought it would be a good idea to drag this thing out on Saturday and subject my own flesh and blood to it. It was cringe-inducing in no less than FOUR places. My limit is two, and that's even pushing it. My cringe tolerance usually doesn't come into play until the end of Adam Sandler movies, and I'm so used to those moments that I can steel myself for them. In Win a Date, they are early and often. Cannot use.


Have fun at Half Price Books, DVD.

I can't get that Don't Call Me Whitney, Bobby song by Islands out of my head. Andrew has the album, so I heard it a while back in his car. Then we watched the video on MTV2 at some point, and finally I heard it on Saturday night (after the Tad Hamilton fiasco) during an episode of How I Met Your Mother. While baked. And tired. So now in my head it's associated with being high and sleepy. Which coincidentally is the only combination of conditions during which I'm attracted to Sarah Silverman.


I have no joke prepared for this picture.

Remember when I used to always write, "YOU'VE BEEN BLOGGED!" or something? Whatever.


STEP AWAY, KRASINSKI.

Revisiting Tildebang

Last night was wacky. From a bar experience that covered the good/weird/bad gamut in 45 minutes flat, to my severe overestimation of my ability to quickly imbibe malt liquor, it ended with vomit for one, temporary tattoos for two, and headaches for most, I'm sure.

To start it off, though... I was incorrect about Tildebang. That, or they were just off back in March when I saw them previously. The set at Ruby's was really tight, Adam looked alternately joyous and nervous while completely rippin' it, and I'm sad that I'll never be able to see what might have been with this band.

I made the mistake of boasting that I could annihilate Edward 40-Hands in half an hour's time. I did this while sharing space with Nathan Renkes. He obliterated me. Not only that, Andrew beat me out. I had to settle for third (thanks, Chops). However, I wasn't passed out at the end of the night like the other three, so who's the real winner, huh? My time: 90 minutes. Renkes took care of biz in 40. I bow to his superior gullet.

I want to see License to Wed, solely because I have a man crush on John Krasinski. You know, the guy from The Office. Funny I should mention that show...



I'm shameless.

Essentially, this has just become a Jenna Fischer picture blog

I'll post stuff, talk about my day, what events transpired, try to give you all a cursory chuckle. But let's be serious. Everything's a prelude to the post ending Jenna picture. I've come to terms with it. It's okay.


Ahhhh, that's better.

Sorry. I couldn't wait until the end of the post. I don't know how I'm going to top this, though. Sallying forth.

University of Oklahoma had to vacate all of their 2005 season football victories because they were PAYING PLAYERS. Poor Cody. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously though, you pay guys to play for you and the extent of your punishment is a vacated season (which means nothing, ask Ohio State), and the loss of a whopping TWO scholarships? They shouldn't even be bowl eligible this coming season. Got off LIGHT.

So, I went to the first part of a six week discussion group at my church last night. The focus is on God versus Science, and it was pretty lively as far as discussion went. Nice cross section of folks, I learned a lot, and I can't wait to go back next Thursday. Point of interest; I wore my Zombie Squad t-shirt to the session. I had second thoughts walking out the door, but if you stop and consider that Jesus himself was actually the most famous zombie there's ever been, I suddenly felt bad about all the years I've been going to church not wearing a Zombie Squad shirt. Sorry, Jesus.



~! the band is playing what looks to be their final show at Ruby Tuesday tonight on Summit. I've only seen them once up to this point, and it really wasn't my cup of tea, despite having the best band name this side of Poco. I will give them my money and my time tonight, however. Farewell, Tildebang. We hardly knew ye.



Speaking of musical endeavors, everyone hop on over to http://www.mediafire.com/?9ztpoebmegv and download Andrew's 12 track "mixtape". It's better than cancer. Well, maybe not the Poets of Rhythm track, but there's some choice cuts on here all the same.


It's creepy that this exists.

I don't think I can go out like that. Something good... something good.

I'm going to see Jimmy Eat World in two weeks!


NAILED IT!

PEACE, CONNECTICUT!

UNKRUNKABLE~!

The night never ends when you start the pitchers at 7.

Quite the broccasion, though.

Not a whole lot to complain about. Just minor things. I'm looking at you, alternate "Psycho Killer!"

I think we had discussed trading up to LaBatt at some point. To be honest, I'm glad we stuck with Bud Light so I could continue to MELT AWAY THE POUNDS.


My night did not end with Jenna Fischer grabbing me by the tie and pulling me close to her. Anything less is just a god damn shame.

Dinkin' Flicka

I had dinner with Andrew, watched the last six season two episodes of The Office, the new Patton Oswalt DVD, and the first season three episode of The Office. Then I went over to Annie's new apartment, ate some boss angel hair pasta, and watched the first four season two episodes of How I Met Your Mother. So... big day.

Cripes All Friday... Saturday... Kennedy

I figured that now was as good a time as any for a redesign, and I must say, I LIKE IT. My number one goal is to lead a more interesting life in the latter half of 2007, thus giving me more things to post about. But how to kick off the third (fourth?) era of this blog? ...PICTURE PARTY!


Do I even need to caption some of these?


Again, what can be said? Dude was commanded to wank, apparently.


I fucking hate Ewoks. Have you ever seen "Caravan of Courage" or "Battle For Endor"? Fucking terrible. Dave, Chops, and Renkes all have big problems with my Ewok hatred. Fuck those guys. Ewoks suck.


He's NOT gay.


I hate most of these cat pictures, but for some reason, I can use this one.


This is incredible.


Stacy is still mad hot, and "Transformers" was a super cool movie.

On a closing note, fuck Chris Benoit. Hopefully that's the last time I'll mention it here.

PEACE!