You all suck

Way to not rescue me from boredom this weekend, chumps. You're all on notice, and can easily be replaced.



That's right. I can have Paul Westerberg over here hanging out in eighteen hours. Probably Keanu Reeves too. DON'T TRY ME.

Fun Would Be Good

So, I've got a big, free weekend coming up. Help me fill it! Who has ideas?



And please, people other than Andrew "Thirty Bands a Night or Your Money Back" Patton chime in.

Uh oh. I bet I hurt the big guy's feelings. Here ya go, pal. Just for you.



See? It's Dan Blocker and a wacky car!

I bet Cody feels left out now, what with him being stuck in Stillwater or wherever he lives.



Look, Cody! It's the Clique, wishing you a happy Thursday! Hooray!

Alright, so my first pleading remains. Let's do something!

Mesmerizing

I really don't have much for tonight. I'll post See No Evil thoughts some time tomorrow, but I figured I should do something since I'm online, so here it is. Enjoy.

See No Update!

The target time for See No Evil is 7:10, the location being the Lennox. Now that we've got it narrowed, let's see some RSVPs.

And here is a candid shot of The Rock and Buffy the Vampire Slayer from their upcoming Southland Tales, just for the Hell of it.


Just think about the body Rock had in 1999 and 2000 compared to now.

Let's hear 'em

Get your excuses ready to go, because this week... EVIL GETS RAW~!

That's right, folks. Friday, May 19th, I'm going to see the god damn Kane movie, and if I'm not rollin' deep, ain't NONE of y'all friends of mine. Who's in?

Posse

I just watched the Veronica Mars finale, and let me say this; if the CW Network doesn't pick up Season 3 for the fall schedule, I will rob as many banks as it takes to fund another 22 episodes. My GOD what a great show, and what a spectacular finale.

Oh, and I FUCKING CALLED THE BUS CRASH PERPETRATOR!!!!!

I won't say it here in case someone hasn't watched the episode yet, but I feel vindicated.

It's Been a Few Days; Obligatory Blog Entry

Seriously, I signed a deal with Blogger. $75,000 one year downside guarantee, but I have to post at least once every four days. And I also have to endorse Nerf Footballs.


That's right, gentle reader. Only Nerf brand footballs allow uncoordinated players to catch with their face, time and time again, with no reprecussions. Unless you play on a rainy day. Then you're fucked, because these things triple their weight at least when wet.

I feel that I'm getting the worse end of the deal.

You know what month it is? It's May. And that means it's SEASON FINALE TIME!!!!!!

Scrubs is still killin' shit in its fifth year on the air, and tomorrow's show will hopefully not end up being the last episode ever. Comedy is the one thing NBC is doing right recently, and it'd be a shame to see one of the great Cerberus of Laughter's mighty heads be cut off. Along with The Office and My Name is Earl, Scrubs is the only real reason to watch NBC at all anymore. They seem to have finally figured out that the sitcom is dead, so they're ahead of the rest of the major networks on that curve. Fuck you, Yes, Dear.

Also of major interest is tomorrow night's Season 2 finale of Veronica Mars, as we finally get this bus crash business wrapped up. My money's on Beaver; what y'all got?

I'm gonna get movin' here, but... hang on.

My corporate masters have just informed me of a new sponsor, so let offer a hearty Blog That Wouldn't Die welcome to... really? Um... okay.


ZOMBIES!!!!!!!

Now that's a product I can get behind. Till next time, folks. I'm outtie 5000.

Cinco De Quatro!

Ya heard? It's Cinco De Quatro, muhfuhckuhs! Don't feel too bad if you didn't know about it. I didn't until last year, when Davekwon called me and Andrew up and invited us to a mysterious Cinco De Quatro party. We got to the crib, and I think we ended up watching Dirty Work or something. It was quite the little deal. I wanted to enlist Norm McDonald to get revenge on Dave after that, believe me. I did draw a sketch of my POV from off in the corner, though.



Look at those maroons.

Enough Cinco De Quatro. I've got limited time to finish up this entry, and a few more things to get to.

ITEM! South Park seems to have its growing pains out of its system, or whatever the heck that abominable Oprah episode was supposed to be. Last week, with Al Gore and the fake treasure was pretty decent, and this week, finally, was a certified grand slam episode. Altered States jokes ALWAYS work.

Zacarias Moussaoui has been reccomended for life imprisonment by the jury on his trial. Thank God. He's been crowing about martyrdom so much, maybe this will piss him off. Fuckin' patsy. Of course, even in a cell 23 hours a day, I still imagine he won't last too long in prison. Some dude with nothing to lose will shank him in short order. I hope he has to hang on, though. I hope he spends the next fifty years feeling himself rot away every second. Official sentencing is set for today. He should also be forced to shave so I don't think of Chi McBride every time I look at his face.

A Sobering Tale of Two Movies, Illiteracy, and Truncated Wrestling Featuring a Near Death Experience

Greetings, gentle reader. Welcome back to the misadventures of my life. I had plans this weekend. BIG PLANS! And then the plans became bigger as the weekend wore on! Where to begin? Where to begin?

AOL INSTANT MESSENGER, Thursday night. I was talking to ASHLEY~! about our upcoming plans for Saturday to venture to the Library and imbibe many spirits, and quite sadly, she had to cancel due to work. I was disappointed, as was she, because we were going to get TANKED. Anyhow, I soldiered on, and fired off a message to Chops, to see if he was down for whatever. NEXT!

WENDING OUR WAY TO DAYTON, Friday evening. FUNKY D~! and I had some HAWT Ring of Honor tickets, so we split at about 6:15, mindful of the 8:00 bell time. And then... 70 DIED. Not 70 people. The Interstate. So we sat there, mostly unmoving for about an hour, trying to figre out what hip hop station the chick next to us was listening to, smoking cigarettes, and generally being completely slap happy ( a condition CODY~! would refer to as "the sleepy sillies.
") By the time we got to Dayton and found the godforsaken fairgrounds (a University of Dayton carnival threw us off completely), it was about 9:30, and we had missed the entire first half of the show. We walked in as Nigel McGuinness versus Christopher Daniels was wrapping up, at which point Andrew excused himself to go to the bathroom. I'm sure he'll tell you he had to take a slash, but I suspect he was weeping the rough tears of discontent at missing out on the Fallen Angel.


Fear not, youngling. I will return in July to rock your party. And then, on to Scribble Jam!

We had a fine time. We got to see TNA favorites such as Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, and of course, Samoa Joe. We also ALMOST DIED at the hands (and bare feet) of the NECRO BUTCHER.


He is the one covered in blood.

It was a show ending brawl and Butcher and another wrestler, Colt Cabana, ended up over the guardrail, taking out a few rows of fans. Funky D and I were a few feet to the left of this madness and it didn't occur to me to get up because I didn't think they'd take it any farther. I... was mistaken. Moments later, our entire section looked like chair triage. Andrew beat his retreat without much difficulty while I stumbled and fell back against the bleachers. A chair throwing spectacle ensued and I just thought how horrible it would be to be trampled by this man. Luckily, I was not. NEXT!

SLOUCHING TOWARDS COLUMBUS, Friday night/early Saturday morning. We made excellent time on the way back, bolstered by our resolve to get drunk watching Teen Girl Squad episodes, a Patton Oswalt special, and the new South Park. We also heard that new Chamillionaire song a couple of times, and it is mighty and awesome. A stop at the good ol' 14-0 express provided much needed libation, and we even took the time to call up JASON~! and wish him a happy 23rd birthday. He reported that his keg was gone by 10:30 but spirits seemed high regardless. I laughed and said the good buddies.
Upon reaching the house, we immediately hit the basement, where Andrew sucked down PBRs like they had the antidote in them. It was a hell of a thing. I tried my best to keep up, but finished an entire beer behind him. By the time we had watched the ten Teen Girl Squad episodes, we were both goners. An attempt was made on Mr. Oswalt's special, but Andrew was in Dreamland about two minutes into it, and I soon followed. I still need to watch that damn South Park.

NO BOOK LEARNIN', Saturday afternoon. I gave Chops a ring a ding on the telephone machine and got no answer, thus forever burying my life's ambition to go to the Library on April 29th, 2006. Luckily, DAVEKWON~! hollered at me and we decided to hit up Studio 35. After loading up with sweets at Habib's, we made our way to the theater, securing our booth (actually mine and Ashley's booth, but Dave will do in a pinch) and pigging out while Scary Movie 4 underwhelmed on the big screen. 'Kwon seemed to enjoy it, but it was easily the weakest leg of the series, and nothing I ever need to see again. After an ATM misadventure and a car driving by screaming "ANDY!" (presumably, the car's driver and not the car itself was the screamer), we ordered up a CLASSIC PIZZA and settled in for the new Spike Lee Joint, Inside Man.
I must say, it had been a while since I'd seen a bank heist movie. It's certainly not my favorite genre, but I had high expectations going in. I love Denzel Washington, I love Jodie Foster, and I ESPECIALLY love Chiwetel Ejiofor. You may remember him as the total badass "The Operative" in Joss Whedon's Serenity. "I don't kill children." "I do... if I have to." He was also in Love, Actually if that helps.


Here he is, seeming to marry Keira Knightley. I am perplexed.

Anyhow, I LOVED Inside Man. Like a fat kid loves cake. I don't want to spoil anything, but suffice to say that it is reminiscent of The Sting without being derivative of it, which I think is perhaps its most impressive attribute.

Woot. Blogged! Be back tomorrow!

One Year to the Day...

I still miss you, Chris. Hopefully seeing some live wrestling tonight will be enough to honor your memory.



Back to regular blogging this weekend. I had midterms this week so I was fairly worn out and distracted.