Former WCW personality hospitalized after heart attack

Dave@wrestlingobserver.com

"WATE TV in Pittsburgh reported tonight that Mark Madden, 45, suffered a heart attack and is in stable condition. No other details are available at the moment."


"More... fudgsicles!"

The best looking big man on TV no longer. Get well soon, Marky Mark. Andrew is weeping profusely somewhere.

Girls I Do Adore

I had a minor revelation this weekend as I reflected on the first three weeks of classes. I remembered what it was that I missed the most about being in school; WIMINZ. Seriously, there are so many hot girls on campus, and being in class with many of them gives me perfectly lovely excuses to make smalltalk. It had been over a year since I last met a woman. Think about that. I've gotten four phone numbers this week alone. I will do my best to just crush a lot, though. Now that's what a I call a "Big" pun~!

All systems go for Ring of Honor Saturday. Anybody have an SUV or van that they wouldn't mind lending out for the day? Oh, in a sad bit of news, Samoa Joe is suffering from a staph infection because of dirty, bloody indy rings. Maybe there's something to what Andrew is always complaining about in regards to the TNA mats. Anyhow, Joe's going to be missing the entire Ohio swing this weekend, so that sucks. Luckily, RoH called in Low-Ki to pinch hit, so good save on their part. Lance Storm is unretiring to wrestle Bryan Danielson on 4/1 in Chicago? Who can say "sixteen hour round trip?!"

Who am I, Anne Frank?

So... I've already fucked up school in a minor way. It took me three weeks this time for things to start falling apart though, so there's some progress. It's actually not too bad. I'm supposed to be keeping a journal and writing one page entires five days a week about things that happen in class, responses to readings, etc. To say I have not done this fifteen times would be kind. The journals were collected today, and I tallied up THREE whole entires. That's right, kids. I'll do better next time. The good part is, each journal collection is a whopping 2% of my grade, so as long as I get it in gear, I'll be okay.

I have to cut a page and a half of my personal narrative by Monday. I hate editing.

Cody will cry wine cooler tinged tears into his baby blue kerchief if I don't give him some sort of mention. He and I are keeping tracks of RAW and Smackdown records this year because we're nerds. Shelton Benjamin is 3-1! Goooooo Mama Benjamin~!

Cody went on a magical mystery tour DATE PARTY~! with the rest of his frat (and some girls, in theory), and they ended up in NASHVILLE. That's right. Why? Who the fuck knows. These people have entirely too much time on their hands. You can't move out of that house soon enough for my tastes, Code Man.

(Pause for an "Uncle Frank" joke)

Moving right along to pressing matters... I need a signature drink. Something called the NapDaddy. I'll be thinking about this one. Praying on it.

Wilson Pickett had a heart attack and died. As soon as I heard that news, I put on a CD and listened to "In the Midnight Hour" about ten times. Very, very sad.

Did anyone read about the Applebee's in Manhattan serving a Long Island Iced Tea to a 5 year old? That's so rad.

Alright, I've gotta run. It's been real.

Andy Napier: Notably Not Dead

'Sup peeps? Just wanted to fly in and give everyone a little update on me: I'm busy. Quite busy. School has been a blessing these past few weeks. I feel completely reinvigorated and am happier than I can remember being in the past few years.

I'm also up to my neck in work, but it's a small sacrifice to have my life on some sort of track.

Lee, I haven't forgotten about you. It's just been crazy. I'll give you a ring this weekend to try and set something up.

Franz, RoH is on the 28th. I tried to send you an E-mail reply but the message just hung around in my outbox forever for whatever reason.

Keith, enjoy the Figure Four Newsletter and tell me what you thought of it.

Kehn, come over sometime soon and see me.

ALL PEOPLES: I want to do a movie night in the next couple weeks for sure, a double header of some sorts. I know one of the movies, but it is a MYSTERY SURPRISE~! So start getting your excuses in order.

Baby, I'm back!

Happy Birthday To Me

Kind of a weird birthday. Woke up, went to class, got home, went to get a haircut, watched the OSU game with my dad, went to Ravari to hang out with Andrew for a little while. And now I'm home. Didn't feel like a birthday, really. Maybe I'm too old to enjoy them now.

Gonna be gone for the funeral this weekend, so I'll probably update Sunday or Monday night.

Unrealness.

When I was growing up in Fairfield County, I really only had one good friend; Miles Hanes. He and I were pretty much inseparable, whether it was scaling Mud Mountain, playing "Star Wars" on the steps, or watching Hulk Hogan suplex the Big Bossman off a steel cage. But aside from Miles, my best friend didn't even live in the same state as me. He lived in Charleston, West Virginia. He was Ben Cavender, the son of my mother's college roommate.

Ben was amazing. He was fearless, and he made me braver just by dragging me along on whatever it was he wanted to do at any particular moment. Searching for snakes, sneaking out of the house at night to hunt UFOs, harassing his older sister and her friends. I remember one time we went to great pains to record an hour or so of us talking about bullshit, then played it back as loudly as possible, to "trick" Amber into thinking we were in his room, only to try to sneak into hers. I don't know what we thought we were going to do when we got there, but it was the journey that was important.

From the time I was five years old until I was twelve or thirteen, Ben Cavender was my best friend.

We grew apart. It was bound to happen. Separated by three and a half hours of travel and both heading into high school, it wasn't surprising. There have been times over the past ten years where I've wanted to pick up the phone, just to see how he is. I only did it once; after he was in a car wreck a few years back. Other than that, I've seen him twice in the past three years. I wish I had called him when his daughter was born. I wish I had been at his wedding a couple of months back. I wish I had spoken to him before he shipped off to Hawaii, joining the Army. I wish a lot of things, but today they've all been focused on Ben.

This morning, Ben was found in his barracks, dead. There's no cause of death yet, not even one suspected, and the first thing my brain went to is because it's the Army, we may never know. But none of that really matters... he's gone. He was a great friend, and you don't get many of them in your life. I count myself lucky to have quite a few by most people's standards, and I can't afford to take any of them for granted any longer.

I love you, Ben. I wish I had been better to you. Rest in peace.


The good buddies.

Magniloquent

For anyone who thinks that pro wrestling is low-brow, unenlightened pablum, do I ever have news for you. On Sunday night, Andrew and I not only had our vocabulary's expanded, but our horizons broadened, by one very special man, who shot right up on both of our personal heroes list; "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown. When asked by Shane Douglas what he thought of his opponent, Christian Cage, Brown stated, "Christian Cage doesn't dress like the Alpha Male, he doesn't speak as eloquently as the Alpha Male, as magniloquently as the Alpha Male."

That's right. He said "magniloquently."

Now, as Andrew relayed to Franz later on that night, initially we assumed it was some sort of nonsense word like "fantabulous." But after referring to the American Heritage Dictionary, we did indeed find a definition for "magniloquent." It is as follows.

mag·nil·o·quent
Lofty and extravagant in speech; grandiloquent.

To say that we were pleased by this information would be like saying that I'm slightly uncomfortable around dwarves. It was a magical, transcendent moment. I think there may have been a high five involved.

So Monty Brown, I salute you. Indeed you are... MAGNILOQUENT.


"There are no streets in the Serengeti!"

Duets

I've pretty much thought the whole Biggie duets album was a bad idea from the word "go", but the album cover might have actually made the entire thing worthwhile.



I bow to that cover. Hey, here's the tracklisting.

01. Hold Ya Head f/Bob Marley
02. The Most Shady f/Eminem, Obie Trice & P Diddy
03. Spit Your Game f/Twista, Paul Wall & Bone Thugs
04. Whatchu Want f/Jay-Z
05. The Funk f/Nate Dogg & Redman
06. Get Your Grind On f/Big Pun, Fat Joe & Freeway
07. Living The Life f/Snoop, Ludacris & Faith Evans
08. Somethin f/The Game & Mary J Blige
09. Nasty Girl f/Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm
10. Living in Pain f/2Pac, Mary J Blige & Nas
11. Want That Old Thing Back f/Ja Rule & Ralph Tresvant
12. Recognize a Pimp f/Too Short & Webbie
13. Three Bricks f/Raekwon & Ghostface Killah
14. What’s Beef f/50 Cent & Mobb Deep
15. Hustler’s Story f/Scarface, Akon & Big Gee of Boyz N Da Hood
16. Breakin’ Old Habits f/TI & Slim Thug
17. Mi Casa f/R. Kelly & Charlie Wilson
18. Just A Memory f/The Clipse
19. Running Your Mouth f/Snoop, Nate Dogg, Foxy Brown & Fabolous
20. I’m With Whateva - f/Lil’ Wayne, Juelz Santana & Jim Jones
21. Here We Go Go f/Q-Tip, Babs & Aasim
22. Ultimate Rush f/Missy Elliot
23. Make It Hot f/Ness & Aasim
24. Wake Up Now f/KoRn

Fuckin' KORN!? Are you kidding me? Nevermind. Great Jughead inspired album cover be damned, this is back to being a terrible idea.

Album of the Year... sorta

So, last night Andrew and I were discussing our picks for Album of the Year 2005. He settled on Three-Six Mafia's Greatest Hits but quickly decided that it doesn't really count. I was all set to go with the album pictured below...



...but today I found out it was released last November. What the fuck!? I don't care. Still the best pop album of this decade. So it'll take some more deep thought to arrive at the correct conclusion.

One last item on Eddy

From Dean Rasmussen over at the Death Valley Driver board, pretty much summing up exactly how I feel about Eddy Guerrero, minus the parts about having kids and stuff.

"I watched all the wrestlers talking about how Eddy affected their lives over on WWE.com and I wept like any wrestling fan would. I'm still trying to get my head around this. I didn't know Eddy. But he does represent a large part of my life. All 2,850 of y'all are here because me and some other folks wrote about wrestling because we were basically inspired by Eddy Guerrero's art after seeing him in ECW in 1995. He led me to Lucha and the divine life lessons that brings. Eddy led me to Puroresu and inflamed my passion in the MOTHERFUCKING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING that hadn't been stoked since I saw Dick Murdock and Harley Race live in Arkansas when I was 12. Eddy was 38 and I'm 39. Mike Tyson let me down. Hershel Walker let me down. Eddy didn't let me down. He was a large part of what I consider my generation to be in my eyes. Eddy has died and a part of a very rewarding part of my life died with him- the part of your life when you are no longer a child and no longer a young rebel but you are a MAN and you have the truly empowered feeling of grabbing the world and making it yours. I've had four children since I first saw Eddy wrestle 2 Cold Scorpio in ECW Arena. I've come to grips with what I think is important in my whole motherfucking life and one of the things that gave me insight into what is important in my life was the fact that Eddy Guerrero showed me that something dear to me- the Professional Wrestling- is worth finding spiritual cartharsis in and that my upbringing and my memories and my shared experiences with with my brother and my friends through wrestling are IMPORTANT and legitimate. Fuck it. My favorite wrestler of all time is dead. I'll be a man and find a new favorite wrestler and show my children the beauty of the art. "

That made me cry all over again. God damn it. Even I don't take wrestling as seriously as this guy.