Why Cody rules

So, as mentioned previously, I got a new computer. And thanks to Adam's suggestion, I actually got it set up and everything. So it was doing all of it's automatic updates and whatnot overnight, and it did a restart, at which point AIM ran on its own. So I got a lot of messages from people over the next ten hours or so, the best of which were without a doubt from my Sooner pal, COOOOOOODY. Here he is, rippin' shit.

Cody: Holy crap.

Cody: But, you're idle.

Cody: Figures.

Cody: That's just like you.

Cody: !!!!!!!!!!

Cody: If I were friends with Steve Harvey, I'd call him Starvey.

Cody signed off at 2:32:06 PM.

WOW. Starvey. You can't make that stuff up, folks. Right from Cody's keyboard to my blog. I am in awe of his off-the-cuffedness. (Bows)

UPDATE/EDIT: I just saw screencaps of Ella Enchanted's titties from some nude scene she did that isn't being released, and HOT DAMN she has some nice breasteseseseses.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/09/30/anne_hathaway_is_nude_in_havoc.html

New Computer

Yes, I have a new PC, and it is glorious. One problem... I have no idea why it won't connect to the Internet (typing this with the lappy). So, who's coming over to help?

X-Box shivers and Coca Cola Ads

--I've been without my X-Box for nearly a week and I have yet to suffer one significant case of the "shakes." I do have a hankering for guiding my Reds of Cincinnati through the 2030 season right about now, but I think I can overcome it. One day at a time and all that jazz. I can do it.

--Has anyone seen the newish Coca Cola advertisement that they're running at the theaters lately? The one with the kids making the "documentary" that amounts to a lot of film of them staring contemplatitively out into the sunset, usually while sitting on the hood of a beat up car. I guess it's trying to be a road trip chronicle, with the harrowing journey taking them to underground radio stations and bicycle repair shops, as well as hitting on very eh" chicks who we're supposed to think are God's gift And it always ends with them giving each other one of those lame, clueless white boy handshakes and drinking Cokes.

Who are they marketing this thing to? I didn't live like that at 15, nor did anyone I know. Seriously, why does Coca Cola even need to advertise anymore? Don't they own 5 continents at this point anyway?

No good jokes about Indiana

On Friday, Funky D and me (not Mac and me)


AAAAAAAAH!!!!! THE HORROR!

Anyway, on Friday, Funky D and me ventured to the land of the KKK and basketball, the state that Daylight Savings Time forgot... Indiana! Guess what? Indianapolis is pretty far when you're going AND coming back on the same night.

We saw two bands. First up was Something for Rockets, fronted by the big haired progeny of violin virtuoso Itzhak Perlman. They rocked enough for me to throw money their way. I like buying CDs at shows for small bands. Not because I believe in supporting struggling artists, but because they truly appreciate you spending money on their music, t-shirts, whatever. Also, it's fun to toy with them.

"How much is a t-shirt?"

"Fifteen."

"And this CD?"

"Ten."

"Hm... alright. Give me one of those free stickers."

I've never actually done that. I should start though.

The headlining band was the Benevento Russo Duo, and I had never heard them play. Andrew loaned me one of their CDs and I never got around to listening to it. However, I told him that I listened to it and liked it very much because he wouldn't have felt good about dragging me with him otherwise. And you know what? For masturbatory, wordless insturmentation that goes on for, per song, about fifteen minutes longer than it should, they were pretty good. I even almost hit on a girl. I had a great chat up line all ready to go, and then she walked away. Trick. Let's see... what else? We smoked a lot of Kools. Yep. Kools. Because nothin' says "flavor country" like finely minced glass pretending to be mint. Andrew claims that he'll be reconstituting a backboard any day now. If he actually does it, I'll have to switch to Kools full time until we can play full-court.

RASSLIN

PLEASE watch the first episode of TNA Impact on Saturday at 11 pm on Spike TV. I know it's not exactly a prime television watching hour, but try to tape it at least. I really think this company can be a success. Also, I plan on ordering more TNA ppvs than WWE ppvs in the next year or so, so for those of you who enjoy watching the ppvs at my house, it would probably be to your benefit to become familiar with the TNA wrestlers and storylines.

Anyway, I'm out for now. Peace.

Normal Again (4X5)

I'm still sort of freaking out about still not having a job, but I'm coping better.

TV NEWS!

"My Name is Earl" is the friggin' bomb. I kind of felt bad to see Ethan Suplee looking so rough, though. He dropped like a hundred pounds but now he's going bald. I guess you're doomed to that kind of hair loss when you're Vader's kid.

The second season of the US "The Office" is looking promising as well. Maybe Steve Carell's new fame will propel that show to the viewership that it deserves.

And in something that should shock absolutely no one who's even watched five minutes of one episode, "Over There" is still the best thing on television.

Thank you.

I finalized the sale of my X-Box to my sister today. It will be a sad farewell, but I'm strapped for cash, so what can you do? So many memories, though.

And I leave you with this, a quote from the Casper Star Tribune:

"IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (AP) -- An Idaho weatherman says Japan's Yakuza mafia used a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to cause Hurricane Katrina in a bid to avenge itself for the Hiroshima atom bomb attack -- and that this technology will soon be wielded again to hit another U.S. city."

Yep. I certainly couldn't have led with that.

A cry for help

Somebody hire me. Please. I'm going crazy.

Also, the Red Sox might be out of the money in the playoff picture. THANK GOD.

More Hype for October 3rd!

If you're like me, you've probably wondered how WWE plans to fill three hours on the October 3rd RAW Homecoming to USA. Well, wonder no more!

"Monday Night RAW will be heading back home to the USA Network on Oct. 3. The historic three-hour RAW will start at 7:55 p.m. ET.

Many former WWE Champions will be making their return to RAW for "The WWE Homecoming" on Oct. 3, including Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan Mick Foley and the return of Triple H.

All of this is in addition to Mr. McMahon, WWE Champion John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle, Ric Flair and a host of WWE legends being a part of the historic, star-studded evening. Many legends already confirmed for Oct. 3 include:

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Jimmy Hart, Hillbilly Jim, Superstar Billy Graham, The Iron Sheik, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Harley Race, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Chief Jay Strongbow, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Nikolai Volkoff and Koko B. Ware."

KOBO B. WARE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Here's my only problem. Where the Hell is Ricky Steamboat? He works for the company, so why the Hell isn't he gonna be on the show?

How Nintendo Finally Died

Fuck you, Nintendo. I was excited about your stupid system too.

The only possible positive I can take from this is that tilted, the controller in the right hand is more or less an NES controller, so maybe it's an emphasis on classic gaming. Nintendo has never been a company afraid to give everybody in the industry the finger and embark on a new path, but this is pushing it. Supposedly the joystick is motion sensitive. So basically, only non cross-platform titles will be affected, because no third party like EA is going to develop a specific Revolution version just to allow for the motion sensitivity. Basically, Revolution exclusive first person shooters is the only genre where this feature has a real advantage (and I hate FPS').

On the other hand, it doesn't have very many buttons, so Andrew will probably like it.

The Dream I Had Four Nights Ago

So, I had this dream a few nights back and really didn't think much of it. It was kind of weird, but it's not like there were zombpires or anything. Remember my zombpire dream from last year? Ah, that was a good one. Anyway, usually if I don't write it down or make a concerted effort to commit it to memory, my dreams fade away. This one hasn't. That probably doesn't mean anything. One time about six years ago I dreamed I was killing Franz with a rubber novelty mallet, for instance. I never actually did it. Anyway (part two), this is what I remember of the dream. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

The basic set up is, I'm riding my bike along the side of the freeway (the freeway is adjacent to the woods in my dream, so there's a path I can safely ride along on), and Jonathan/Shadow is with me, riding on my back. If I could have chosen, I would have put him in a basket attached to the bicycle, but I wasn't consulted. So, there we are, me and Jonathan, riding along, when no less than a WOLF starts chasing us. We rode away, but the wolf kept pace with us pretty well and then started to appear in front of us. This required a lot of turning around and doubling back, and President Meowington was very frightened. Eventually, the wolf bit me. It was a really wussy bite though, and I was kind of disappointed that my subconscious regards wolves as so benign. After all, if I ever meet one, I kind of hope that I'll be smart enough to fear the Hell out of it. But that's beside the point. Jonathan and me finally get off the freeway and to a huge McDonalds, where he is drawn to the ball pit. So we play in the ball pit and on the slide for a while, and that was pretty much it.

So yeah, nothing real special as a dream, except it seems that in dreams I view Jonathan as Dave does in real life (which is disturbing on more than one level). Anyhow, the President was safe and sound at the end, and McDonald's ball pits are as awesome as your imagination wants them to be.

Classic Content

So, here's a transcript of an Undertaker circa August 1999 promo. I don't really know how to lead into it anymore, but it's an absolute must read. I had forgotten the particulars of the promo until I saw this, but man does that ever take me back. Lee and Keith are sure to enjoy it muchly.

"Play time's over, sit down and shut up. Later on tonight, there's gonna be a match for the tag team titles between the Acolytes and X-Pac & Kane, whatever whatever, it's not important. The fact of the matter is, this Sunday at Summerslam the winner of that match will come face to face with this. And to make sure that my man was right, this week I put him to the test. I had Paul Bearer call out to California - San Fernando Valley to some associates of ours at the Local 81 - Paul said we're gonna need two bikes for a ride in the desert. The guy said 'Brother Paul, now we know that the Dead Man can handle it, but I don't know about the Big Show. It's August, it's 120 degrees in the middle of Death Valley.' He says 'the only things that survive in the desert are the cold-blooded...the snakes and the lizards.' Paul said 'that's all right, and in one of those bikes that you're setting up for us, I want you the Big Show to only have enough gas to get to the middle of the desert and not get back.' So we're on our way - we get to the middle of Death Valley - 120 degrees, the Big Show's bike runs out of gas. And I pull up next to him and I ask him this question: 'It's 120 degrees, how are you gonna survive?' He looks me straight in the eyes, without hesitation, he says 'I'm gonna wait 'til you go to sleep, I'm gonna stab you in the back, I'm gonna cut your flesh off, make a coat out of it, and I'm gonna eat YOUR flesh until I find food.' I said 'Good answer big man, but I don't sleep,' and I drove off and left him. I waited on the outskirts of the desert. Two days later, he walks out with a snake necktie and lizard boots, carryin' his Harley-Davidson on his shoulder. The point of the story is this. What used to be known as SummerSlam will now be known as Armageddon, and whoever shows up...will be hurt."

Too bad Big Show never wore the tie and boots on camera. That would have made for a good visual.