Lord, Beer Me Strength

It's here. Last Day.



No, no, no! Not that. Much, much worse than mandatory death at the age of 30. Today is the LAST EPISODE OF THE OFFICE EVER.

For now.

What will I do!? WHAT WILL I DO!?


Sweet Jim, I'll miss you second most of all.

I imagine a lot of DVD watching is in my immediate future.


SCRANTONES ON STRIKE with Kate Flannery and Lily Tomlin!

So, I downloaded the demo of The Office video game. I of course, love the show, and am very sad to see it go for the time being after tonight's episode. However, after playing through all eight stages of the game's first level, I've determined that I'll never, ever have twenty dollars that I want to waste so badly as to purchase the full version of this thing. It's kind of like having a job in an office, in that it's entirely about busy work.



See, the icons over the seated workers heads? You go and fetch whatever it is they want. That's about it, really. And yes, they're all super deformed. Even sweet Pam. Occasional sound clips from the show and unlocking familiar props for your virtual desktop aren't enough to squeeze any blood from the stone that is my poor wallet. Why couldn't they have gone the Home Improvement route and set the game in the prehistoric age? That's really the only option when you have a franchise that just cannot be reasonably spun off into a fun video game. Do it in an unreasonable fashion. I'd play as Creed Bratton fighting dinosaurs for a few minutes.


"I was wondering how they were going to be faithful to Episode 28: Holy Crap, a Fire-Breathing Dinosaur!" - Seanbaby

Until next time, fans of the blog... I'm Andy, and you're better for knowing me.


Lots of quality time with your cat up ahead, sweet thing.

Two Years Without Eddy

It didn't even strike me until I saw a topic on a message board this morning, but it's now two years to the day that Eddy Guerrero died in his hotel room in Minneapolis. I wrote quite a bit about the topic at the time on this blog, here, here, and here if you'd like to take a look. After November of '05, however, it was difficult to discuss, as WWE constantly used Eddy's name for profit in the wake of his death, going so far as Randy Orton, in an attempt to get heel heat, stating for all the world to hear that Eddy was in Hell. Since then, wrestling has been in a strange place. Much has changed, but at the same time, nothing has. WWE has paid lip service to drug testing, but only seems to take it seriously intermittently. Rey Mysterio was elevated to a main even spot, essentially replacing Guerrero. The significance is that a man of his size had never been a headliner in a major American wrestling company. The other piece of that is, as he was just basically playing Eddy Guerrero at a period when the company was squeezing every dollar out of the death that they could, his time on top was brief, and looks unlikely to ever be recaptured.



But this isn't the time to talk about my disappointment in WWE and the wrestling industry at large. Today I just want to honor the greatest wrestler I ever saw. I still miss Eddy, and I probably always will. I've found a new favorite wrestler since then, but it's never going to be the same. It's never going to be just another "wrestling death" to me. I won't pretend that my life has been shattered by his death, but it is important to me. I'd like to quote something I posted two years ago, written originally by an admin for the Death Valley Driver Video Review Message Board, Dean Rasmussen, in response to Eddy's death. He said, in part:



"I've come to grips with what I think is important in my whole motherfucking life and one of the things that gave me insight into what is important in my life was the fact that Eddy Guerrero showed me that something dear to me- the Professional Wrestling- is worth finding spiritual catharsis in and that my upbringing and my memories and my shared experiences with with my brother and my friends through wrestling are IMPORTANT and legitimate."



This makes me think of years gone by, watching RAW with Lee and Franz when I was fourteen and fifteen years old, telling jokes, bonding, being a part of something. Wrestling fans are a special breed. I really believe that. And like Dean, I do think this illegitimate sport can foster very legitimate feelings and experiences.



Anyhow, Eddy, it's been two years and I still hate that you're gone. There's never been someone as good as you were at any one thing, let alone everything. Thank you for an incredible eighteen year career, the last eight of which I was honored to watch unfold in real time.



No Jenna today. Doesn't seem right.

Fulci Movies Suck and Other Things I've Learned

Lucio Fulci directed 54 movies in his lifetime. I own four of them and I believe this qualifies me to state as fact that he wasn't very good at his chosen profession. Maybe he showed promise earlier in his career, when he was doing mostly comedies and westerns, but the day he stepped into the horror arena, he was shooting garbage from the word 'go.' That's not to say that I don't love all four Fulci films I own (Okay, three of them. Zombi III is indefensible.), because I do. They're just horrible, that's all. I knew Zombi II and The Beyond were bad movies, and as stated above, Zombie III is an absolute abortion, but it wasn't until I sat down this evening to finally watch my copy of City of the Living Dead that it all came together.


"Mama mia! I suck!"

The creators of the Saw franchise should actually be paying out mad royalties to the Fulci estate, because they essentially took the most important element of his films and built their own around it. What Fulci clearly does in all four of these movies I've seen is get an idea for a really graphic, horrible way for a character to meet their end, and then write an entire movie around that one thing. As awesome as a woman's eye being impaled on a shard of wood may be, it's not enough to hold up an entire movie. As gut-churning as a man having his head slowly run through with a giant drill is, you can't use that alone to prop up an otherwise flimsy premise. The Saw guys are actually really smart, because they realized what a bad idea that was, and just made their entire movies about the hideous, Rube Goldbergian mechanisms of death. All that said, Fulci will always have a place in my heart because he filmed this.



No caption necessary there, I don't think.

All right, so I got the Fulci rant out of my system. It's been slowly bubbling to the surface for a good four years. With that taken care of, who's ready for a little Office talk?

OBLIGATORY "THE OFFICE" REVIEW FOR SEASON 4, EPISODE 7: "SURVIVOR MAN"

The strike is still ongoing, meaning this week's episode, The Deposition, will be the final for a while.


You people are too god damn chipper about this.

Regardless, life goes on (for now). I would say that Thursday's episode was the weakest of the season, but it still had it's moments. The big problem was the main plot (I guess) just didn't work. Michael Scott losing his mind in the woods for a few hours just didn't do it for me. On the other hand, the subplot of Jim taking over the office for the day and coming to the quick realization that he's dangerously close to turning into Michael, was AWESOME. The best stuff in the entire episode was actually in the tag at the end, which I thought was an odd place to put it. Jim and Michael's conversation is spun gold. Steve Carell, in the two episodes he's written (the first being the fabulous season two finale Casino Night), has shown great capacity for writing these characters, and it was the personal moments rather than the big, broad Michael-in-the-woods stuff that kept my attention last week. Not much JAM material this week, so things seem steady in that area. Personally, I blame NBC's "Green Week" mandate for the wacker than usual main storyline. I expect a return to top form this week.

All right, got RAW coming up, with the eightieth Triple H/Umaga match of the past three months. Can't wait!

Oh! And remember, tomorrow brings Broin' Down 6: BROvember Rain! 7 pm, Ruby Tuesday. Just as a refresher, here are the ground rules.

RULES OF BROIN'

Rule Number One: NO GURLZ ALLOWED. This is broin' down, not hoin' down. You can do that on your own time.

Rule Number Two: Speaking of GURLZ, they are either a ONE or a TWO. No exceptions.

Rule Number Three: Six bros are company, ten bros are a sausage fest.

Rule Number Four: Thou shalt not use any modifier in reference to any BROIN event other than BRO.

I love broin' down nights.


Provided this strike ever ends, David Denman needs a series!

Wrestling content - deal with it! AND MORE

1998 wasn't so long ago that I can't remember that I used to hate Fit Finlay. I vividly recall him being shoehorned into a perfectly good Booker T/Chris Benoit WCW TV Title feud and greatly detracting from it. Is it a sign of my changing tastes that Finlay, now 49, is one of my favorite wrestlers? He's been back in the ring with WWE for nearly two years now, and has been absolutely amazing throughout. Nine years and one dead leg after I thought he was duller than dishwater while in a feud with two of my favorites. WHAT HAPPENED?


Back in the day when he was young, he's not a kid anymore, but some days, he... sorry.

I watched the Smackdown! program last night, and one of the featured bouts was Finlay versus Rey Mysterio. They've had something of a feud over the past six weeks or so, and Fit finally (no pun intended, for realz!) put one in the win column against the undersized luchador. This match RULED. Maybe he's just working up-tempo now that he's returned to the ring for the new millennium, or maybe I was just blind in my youth, but Fit Finlay is frigging great.


Much like a Nitro Girl, he makes a goofy face.

Chyna actually changed her name to Chyna. If that works as far as getting around WWE's copyright on the name, why didn't she do this years ago?

Why isn't Vin Diesel out of the closet yet? His name is VIN DIESEL and he sounds the way he does. For Christ's sake, somebody wave a feather boa under his his nose or something.


Yeah, dude. Not gay. Whatever.

I hope everyone is ready and rested for Tuesday, November 13th, which just so happens to be........... Broin' Down 6: BROvember Rain!


Yeah! Rip it up, Slash!

I don't know if I've told the tale on the blog yet, but if so, TOO BAD. We were trying to decide between BROvember to Remember and BROvember Rain, but we liked both very much. Because it actually rained on the day of Broin' Down 5: OctoBROfest, we took it as a sign from the Dark Lord Crispin that the latter title was the perfect fit.


Your will be done, my liege.

A look ahead:

December 11th: Broin' Down 7: BROhoho

January 8th: Broin' Down 8: Twenty-BRO-eight

February 12th: Broin' Down 9: FeBROary

Go ahead and plan your life around it!

I'm 3-8-0 in Fantasy Basketball. I don't really know what that means, or how I've played 11 games, but there you have it. The Dusky Gentlemen are off to a rollicking start!


Win.

So, I used to watch Attack of the Show (AotS for cool kids), and then I stopped. I think I just had too much junk backlogged on the DVR, and that was an easy five hours a week I could cut out. Well, I returned to the program on Wednesday, in preparation for the desolate TV wasteland the strike is going to leave me with, and you know what? Olivia Munn is ridiculous.


Spelled G, Double E, K.

I don't normally do this, but I'm going to post a second picture, because it's too awesome to not post.


Yoda spoke of another, and BLAOW! There she is!

What a nerd I am. But seriously, I can't fathom how I justified not watching this show over the past few months.

Probably because I was more focused on watching her show.


SEGUE KING. NO MAN MAY CHALLENGE MY RULE!

Man of Steel - NAUGHTY LANGUAGE WARNING

As Friend of the Blog Andrew "Funky D" Patton has not yet seen the new episode, in lieu of my usual Office review I'll be taking a look at something that has swept the imagination of this great nation in recent weeks: Superman.


Playing to his strengths. Namely, being a dick.

I don't really care for Superman for the most part. He's too powerful. But thanks to a seventeen year old boy, the Man of Tomorrow is at least entertaining me again.


DIPSHIT!

Yes, that is Soulja Boy, or if you're really formal, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em. That's right. "Tell 'Em" is a part of his name. Anyhow, he's had this song out for about two months now called Crank That (Soulja Boy). Like we'd forget his name if it wasn't in the song title. Trust me, Soulja Boy, when you say your name in your only hit song so many times that your only rival in insecurity is Mike Jones (who? Mike Jones!), we're going to remember you.

Anyhow, this song is terrible. I could try and make all kinds of clever comparisons, but at the end of the day, "bad" sums it up pretty nicely. Also, you can't really tell because he's wearing those shades, but Soulja Boy Tell 'Em is sub-normal. It's the only way to explain the dance he does in the video. They must have cast this thing on the high tension wire side of Cabrini-Green, because there's no way that many normal black people would ever agree to do this dance.

But this isn't about how awful Soulja Boy and his stupid dance are. This here is a glass half full blog entry. Because while it's completely disposable pap, Crank Dat does possess one silver lining. In the song, he repeatedly says, and I quote: "Superman that ho!" A group consisting of myself, Funky D, Davekwon, and Jason all found this hilarious. It was kind of like being in grade school and hearing something you knew was naughty, but not really having any idea what it actually meant. None of us had enough follow through to look it up either. It never even occurred to me to do so, as I figured it was just something stupid this teenager was saying. But Jason Sharp went the extra mile! Actually, he saw it mentioned on a message board and just asked what the Hell it meant, but still, way to be, J.

As he told me over the phone, I don't have his exact wording, so I'll take it from Urban Dictionary.

"1. superman dat hoe

when you ejaculate on a girls back then put a blanket on her so when she stands up the blanket sticks therefore making her look like she has a cape."

I acually like the wording of the second definition better.

"2. superman dat hoe

it's when you skeet on a ho's back, and then the bedsheet sticks to her, making a superman-style cape."

Ahhhhhhh skeet skeet skeet!

Anyway... is it demeaning? Sure. Is it funny? Hell yes.

Before I leave you, just one more thing on this Soulja Boy character. He may be a dipshit seventeen year old, and a shoot retard, and the beat of his song may sound like low-end No Limit bullshit from 1999 or so, but to his credit... he's got him some bathin' apes.


YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!

Later on folks. For those just DYING for my analysis of Season 4, Episode 7, Survivor Man, hang in there. It should be up on Sunday after a second viewing. So until tomorrow, y'all have been blogged. YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!


Rainn Wilson, my man on the inside, keeps Krasinski at bay!

Scattershot

iTunes won't open. This is unacceptable. I was going to import some Nas into my playlist. Perhaps it's a safety feature of the application. Oh hey, it finally opened. He must have passed the test or something. And appropriately, we start with mc chris, who is set to rock Columbus a week from this very night at the High Five. Tickets are on sale now!


"I was told that Piebald would be here."

Hey, you know what ships on Tuesday? M'fin' Fire Pro Wrestling Returns, that's what! It's finally here, and me without a PS2.

Andrew, on this "A Mix For Daymon" you made, there's a song called Only One Can Win (Two Can Win). This makes no sense. I know you're en route to the Windy City as I type this, but seriously, what's up with that?

Anybody catch the Guitar Queer-o ep of South Park last night? I don't want to give anything away, but...


This picture is undeniable. Embrace the greatness.

When the fall began I was eagerly anticipating each new episode of The Office, counting them down as the weeks passed. Now, however... there is no joy in counting, as tonight brings the first of the last two episodes in the can as the strike wears on.

Brian Bosworth takes too much shit from people about his acting. What were they expecting? Stone Cold and One Man's Justice are both amazing anyway.


"Imagine the future, Chains, 'cause you're not in it."

Until next time (tomorrow), you've been blogged!


"You like nerd rap and Japanese wrestling games? How can I get with this!?"

Steeeeeeeeeee-rike!

Unfortunately, I didn't get around to doing any in depth research on the candidates or issues for today's election. Usually I earmark an hour or two the night before or the morning of the election. However, there was RAW to be watched on Monday, and this morning, with newspaper in hand, I was distracted by a captivating episode of Boston Legal. Blame that dreamy James Spader.


"I like food too much to be in movies anymore. Thanks, network TV!"

The only races I really cared about were the mayoral and city council seats. In truth, I only care about the city council seats because Dan Williamson told me to. I voted for Brownson, damn it! A Republican will help stir the pot! Other than those two elections, my main focus was in voting for names that were obviously Hispanic. Hopefully in doing so I ended up with a mix of Democrat and Republican. I suppose I could check up on it now that I'm online.


My kind of candidate! Oops.

I tried. The Columbus Dispatch website isn't very helpful on this matter. I just remembered that I know one of the eight people running for mayor of Bexley though, so that's kind of cool.

Onto things that actually matter, the writer's guild is on strike, as I'm sure you've heard. The late night talk shows have already been sent into re-runs. Soap operas are next. Basically anything with a quick turnaround is doomed in the short-term. Depending on how long this thing lasts, most scripted shows may be largely unaffected. Most series have scripts stockpiled and ready to shoot, but how many? The last time the guild went on strike, in 1988, it lasted six months and as I read in the newspaper today, many credit that for cable gaining a strong foothold earlier than it would have and reality programming becoming part of our everyday lives. In fact, had it not been for that strike, the show COPS may have never hit the airwaves.


And what a tragedy that would have been, right?

So the big question for this blogger is, of course, what does this mean for A) professional wrestling, and B) The Office?

TNA is written by Jeff Jarrett, Dutch Mantel, and Vince Russo, none of whom are members of the union, so it will go along as shoddily booked and confusing as ever. WWE does employ union writers, but apparently it's considered a sports property, and thus the strike doesn't affect those writers. I don't really understand it fully, but that's what I've read. And honestly, even if the Hollywood writers they have on staff did go on strike, it would just mean you'd have actual wrestling people giving more input into the shows, which would be fine with me as a change of pace until the strike is over.

Now, here's where it gets sad. The Office has two unaired episodes in the can currently. The ones airing Thursday the 8th and Thursday the 15th. There are scripts to be shot, and indeed they did some filming yesterday. Here's the problem. Two of the lead cast members, Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, are refusing to come in to work in support of the union. Supporting actors Ed Helms and Oscar Nunez are out as well. They were only able to film two scenes yesterday due to the lack of actors. I don't know for certain which cast members are actually members of the guild, but I would guess that at least Carell, Helms, and Nunez are based on previous work they've done in the industry. It appears that Jenna is all clear to continue doing what she does.

I support what the striking union members are after, which is a bigger slice of the revenue pie, but this is now directly impacting my viewing habits! I'm torn.

Instead of creating new reality shows to fill the scripted series void, they should just import them from Europe. Like the greatest game show of all time, Italy's Un, Due, Tre, Stalla!


Who wants to marry a farmer? Huh? Anyone? Bueller?

I'm hoping for a quick resolution in this matter, but it appears the union and the studios are quite far apart on percentages. Could be a long, humorless winter.


Can't we just get a reality show called "Beboppin' Around With Jenna and Angela?"

The 8 am Adderall Buzz Blog

Sometimes when people take an existing product and try to make it more user friendly, they forget about the people who had already been using said product for ages with no trouble whatsoever. The COTA website's redesign is very upsetting to me. I used to pride myself on being the king of the north side bus routes, all because with a couple of well placed clicks, I knew when and where to be to get to wherever it is that I might have needed to go. Now, every time I go to the site, it takes me twice as long as it used to in order to get the information I want. This is partly due to my own admittedly bad memory, as I'd gotten used to the old site layout over the years. But it worked perfectly fine for me, and I'm sure many others who rely on Columbus's venerable yet underfunded public transportation system. There should be a "COTA Classic" option for those of us who want the familiarity of the old site as opposed to the "ease" of the new one.


I'll try to limit the whining for the rest of the entry.

I'm closing out week two of being baseball cap guy. It was originally in response to a too-short haircut (an essential if regrettable sacrifice made in my quest to emulate the great Andrew Patton for Halloween), but I've grown to enjoy having it on my head. I'd like something with a little more personality than a standard OSU number though.


Win.

Uncle Adam tried to make Hall and Oates come a month early with the power of his MIND. And his appointment book. We laufed and laufed.

I watched The Holiday yesterday. If you don't remember, it hit theaters last year around Christmas-time and BROKE ALL BOX OFFICE RECORDS. And by that I mean it failed to recoup even its production budget. This is probably due to the cost of an all-star cast consisting of the spooge chick from There's Something About Mary, the less fat dude from Tenacious D, the hot little crumpet who gets painted nude in Titanic, and Jude Law. This movie was cloying, obvious, had a completely useless Dustin Hoffman cameo as a throwaway joke, and featured dancing as the ending credits rolled. Oh, and it's about forty minutes too long for a romantic comedy, clocking in at a beefy two hours and twenty minutes. And it has Jet's Be My Girl on the soundtrack. Yes, in the latter portion of 2006. All that said, I didn't hate it. I blame Kate Winslet. She's just so darn cute. I just hope Jenna doesn't become the Kate Winslet of the prime time world. This woman is 32 and has five Oscar nominations, yet no wins. You'd think they'd throw you a bone at some point, before you turn into a talented Susan Lucci. Hey, I just read that she turned down the lead in Shakespeare in Love, which I'm pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow actually won an Oscar for. She's gotta be better than Paltrow, right?


Kate's the one that isn't Ricky Gervais.

Hockey fights are impressive to me. I'd never really thought about it until today, but imagine the balance you have to maintain in order to be successful in a hockey fight. That's two dudes grabbing each other by the jersey or hair with one hand, and punching with the other. There's very little margin for error as it concerns your footing.

I was watching an old WCW Monday Nitro the other day, and two things were very clear from the opening match, a tag encounter pitting the Miracle Jobber Connection of Rick Fuller and Roadblock against Lex Luger and The Giant. Luger and Giant were announced as being the tag team champions but had no belts. WCW, right? Anyway, as I mentioned, two things were very clear to me. 1) Lex Luger was ungodly bad when he was in there against someone who didn't know what he was doing, ala Mr. Fuller and Mr... uh... Block, I guess. And 2) It's so sad that Paul Wight didn't become a good worker until he was well into his WWE run. He was huge in 1997, but not in a bad way. Just lean and muscular and surprisingly fast as well. The problem was, he was two years into the business and not any good. So by the time he figured out how to work in WWE, he knew what to do, his body just wouldn't allow him to do it very well. Supposedly he's dropped about 60 pounds since leaving WWE, and that figure is from April, so it could be significantly more at this point. If he could keep the weight off and come back for another run on top, there's no telling how awesome he could be. I love The Big Show, it's true.


Fat guys is strong too.

And now, for no reason at all...


"Wave of babies!"

Time for go to school!


Nuts to history. Teaching golf is where it's at.

The Eyes Are the Groin of the Head

I have nothing to lead with aside from this picture, so let's just dive in.


ROFLCOPTER

OBLIGATORY "THE OFFICE" REVIEW FOR SEASON 4, EPISODE 6: "BRANCH WARS"

Nobody really got KAREN'D, but she did give ol' Jim a good talking to. The off-screen chaos featuring Dwight and Michael trying to steal the Utica branch's copier was tremendous. Great use of the walkie talkies when they were apparently pinned down by the mass of the machine in the stairwell: "Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something. Host the Dundies." It was good to see the beautiful Rashida Jones, daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton, back on the show, as unlike August 23rd, I love her again.


Yes, you're sexy. WE GET IT. Crazy girl.

For being the focus of the main plot, Stanley didn't have a whole lot to do in this episode. He did get a great line in at the end when he revealed that he wasn't actually going to Utica: "How on earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? Sometimes I say crazy things."

The Finer Things Club was kind of a cute concept, but it was sloppily executed. If people are bugging you so much in the break room, move your meetings to the conference room, dummies. Oscar's line made the entire subplot worth it though: "Besides having sex with men, I would say The Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me." Yay Oscar!

Joss Whedon directed this fine episode. This marks his second time at the helm of an episode of The Office, and he once again put in a YEOMAN'S effort.

And to wrap the analysis up... I'd say by the end of this episode, we're still at a pretty high rating on the JAM happiness scale. I don't have any exact numbers or anything, but I'd call the chances of an imminent breakup pretty remote. Someone on a message board I frequent compared Jim's attitude towards the Finer Things Club to that of Roy's toward Pam's art show. This person is a FOOL. Jim actively sought membership into the Finer Things Club in order to be close to Pam. Sure he fucked it up by not reading Angela's Ashes like he was supposed to (with ZANY results!), but Roy just showed up with his brother, strolled around, and left, saying "Your art was the prettiest art of all the art." What a tool. Jim definitely needs to grow up a little bit, but don't we all? Anyway, JAM's lookin' strong heading into episode 7, Survivor Man!

So uh... I guess there was absolutely NO REASON for non-Office watchers to read this particular entry. Oh well. That's what you get for being lame I guess. Suckers!


CIRCUITS OVERLOADED

Ghosts and Grudges and of course... Ballin'!

After I felt more like myself yesterday, I watched that Ghost Hunters special with Davekwon. I didn't think it was as good as last year's, but as guest wrestlers go, Elijah Burke lived up to and even exceeded the daunting standard set by CM Punk. Seeing him scream, throw his arms up in the air, and tear ass down a hallway by himself near the end of the live program really put it over the top. I think somebody touched his shoulder or something. He was great, asking all kinds of questions and seeming very interested in the whole experience. I am a much bigger Elijah Burke fan after watching him learn about ghosts for six hours.


What is the opposite of "I ain't afraid of no ghost?"

After Dave left, I felt I needed some kind of distraction to cause me to stop thinking about how I was probably going to be Grudged at any moment...


ACK! Run, Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Run!

...so, I popped in the first season of The Office. And as my bootleg copy of the finest show in creation's freshman effort jerked around ever so slightly, just enough to make me a little seasick, I thought, "Damn, I should get my real copy of this back." So Lee, I'll trade you back your G.I. Joe Volume 1 for my season one of The Office. I needz my commentaries and deleted scenes!


"You throw me the DVD, I throw you the TPB!"

So, I was slightly off yesterday when I did my bloggin'. I blogged with full awareness of that fact, and in truth, I'm glad it turned out the way it did because I learned a valuable lesson about myself and my coherence while in an altered state. But not, ya know, Altered States. I was not, in fact, dropping acid.

I'm in a fantasy basketball league this season for what I believe is the first time in my life. If not, then I'm guessing I did pretty poorly in the other one as I have no memory of it. I will try to stay on top of it with making sure to switch out inactive players from my starting lineup and whatnot. I predict I will succeed for a good three weeks and then completely lose interest as I slip further and further in the standings.

Broken Lizard has announced their new project, and it's weird. Jay CHANFFDSFL:SDKFSDL:SDKFSDFKSDFDSAHAR (pronounced "Shamallian") is not directing this time. Instead, it'll be Kevin Heffernan (who was surprisingly svelte on How I Met Your Mother this past Monday) calling the shots in SLAMMIN' SALMON! It is in fact, about... well, here's the one-sentence summary from Variety, care of Cinematic Happenings Under Development.

"Story, to be penned by the troupe, revolves around a restaurant owner and former heavyweight champ who pits his wait staff against each other in a -Glengarry Glen Rosslike competish."

Hideous English aside, this sounds promising. Of course, I pretty much think they can do no wrong, so what do I know?


Now this is the movie they should be making.

I'd say I've wasted enough of the gentle reader's time today, wouldn't you? Holla at ya boy!

Oh, but before I go, remember, tonight is The Office season 4, episode 6, BRANCH WARS! OH BOY! Karen's back, and she's bringing Hell with her! What could it mean for Scranton? What could it mean for Jim and Pam!? What could it mean for my sanity!?


KAREN'D!