A VERY IMPORTANT MATTER

As I was drifting off to sleep last night, I began to think about what I may want to blog about today. Often these 3 am thoughts are long forgotten by the time I wake up, despite my constant, misguided belief that "I don't need to get out of my warm bed to write it down. This time I'll remember." It's not like this was the world's greatest topic, but for whatever reason, I finally remembered one. First broached at Broin' Down V: OctoBROfest, I hope to put to rest, once and for all, the question of who the better man is between Billy Dee Williams and Carl Weathers.

While I strongly believe that both men would be fine Ohio governors, a choice must be made, and who better to make it than me, a 24-year old white geek with an affinity for Lando Calrissian and Apollo Creed?

If your answer to that question was "Anybody else", you're in the wrong place.

Now, to start, Lando Calrissian and Apollo Creed are both completely awesome and may actually cancel one another out. So we'll have to go a little bit deeper for this one I'm afraid.

Billy Dee played Harvey Dent in the original Batman film (well, not technically the original, but close enough).


"Holy Special Edition" indeed, Burt Ward.

Even though he was utterly screwed out of reprising the role for Batman Forever, and now once again left out in the cold by that pretty boy Aaron Eckhart, Billy Dee is the real District Attorney of Gotham City.

Weathers portrayed Major Dillon in Predator, which is kind of like having been in a Batman movie because the Governator was Mr. Freeze. All the same, I have to give the nod to Billy Dee in the category of BATMAN.

Billy Dee Williams played Gale Sayers in Brian's Song, which is a rad movie about interracial friendships before interracial friendships were cool.

Carl Weathers played linebacker for the Oakland Raiders. In the category of FOOTBALL, Mr. Weathers edges out his adversary.

Billy Dee Williams was a pitchman for Colt 45. Carl Weathers is currently shilling Old Spice. Where OFFENSIVE, STEREOTYPICAL PRODUCT WHORING is concerned, Mr. Williams has it all over the guy. Though I must say, I OBJECT to the notion that he's perpetuating any kind of negative stereotype.


Thanks, your honor.

Just one category remaining and Carl needs this one to stay in the game. Fortunately for him, it's AS HIMSELF EXCELLENCE IN SITCOMS.

While Billy Dee Williams has had excellent cameos playing himself on Scrubs and Martin~!, Carl Weathers got himself a recurring role on Arrested Development, playing himself as an acting coach. And he KNOWS HOW TO MAKE STEW, as my friend Rick Robinson will attest to.



Carl Weathers takes the category in a landslide!

This is tough. I wish there were a fifth, deciding category on which to render a decision. Sadly, there is not. I'll need a minute to figure this out.

MY FINAL DECISION after these words from Colt 45!


Colt 45: Bringing people together since yesterday

Thanks for your patience. I've figured it out. Based entirely on the fact that Billy Dee Williams plays Carl Weathers' boss in a made for TV movie that I absolutely have to see, here is your winner...

LANDO CALRISSIAN!


~!~!~!~!

Thank God that's settled. It's been eating at me for months.


A woman SMOOTH enough for Billy Dee himself.