Short Takes (part... three or something)

So yeah, here's what's crackin' in my head this afternoon.

-Dave got the best psyche out on me EVER yesterday. We're just sitting there, watching Wrestlemania V, and I mention that Gorilla and Jesse is my favorite announce team ever, LITERALLY. And he says, "Yeah, it sucks that he died today." So my mind processes this for a second, and I lose it. "WHAT?!" And Dave says, "...in Predator." He had been watching it earlier that day or something. See... that's where Dave's magical Mogwai powers kick in. If Jason had done it, it would have been mean spirited, but since it was Dave, no harm done. Just like his 'presumptuous' joke. If you haven't heard it, make him tell it, because I come off like a sleaze bag doing it. Seriously, somehow he pulls it off.

-I mentioned Jason in the last item, which reminds me; my boy had turned Twotee Two yesterday! He'll be in town this next weekend, and I'm sure some kind of gathering will take place, so anyone interested in helping to observe the occasion, you're welcome to join us.

-Fuck the Game. I like some Kanye West beats and "dripping jheri curl juice on Ronald Reagan's shoes" is a great line, but did rap really need it own "We Didn't Start the Fire?" Game is like a VH1 special at this point. Yes, we all remember 2Pac, and its very sad about Left Eye, but rap about your jewels or something. Christ.

-I'm really geeked for the NBA Playoffs, even with Cleveland out. I didn't think I'd care at that point, but I'm a sucker for certain players. I wonder if wanting white players to succeed in basketball makes me a racist, though. I'm all about Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Manu Ginobli and Peja Stojakovich, but would I like them that much if they were black? I'd like to think so, because they really are all great players worthy of having fans, but maybe it's racial, too.

-Cody sez: Shawn Michaels needs to turn heel. Jesus won't care.

Cody is right, by the way. It's not gonna happen, but he's right.

-I watched a match after I got home last night. I wasn't really tired and I didn't feel like finishing up "Sports Night" just yet, so I rooted through my drawer full o' VHS and came across a random Japanese compilation that my friend Mike made me a couple of years ago. You know what the first match was at the point I had last stopped the tape? Hogan and the Great Muta versus the Road Warriors. YES. This is supposedly going to be on the Road Warriors two-disc DVD coming out next month, but I had never seen it yet.

The intros took like six hours and were easily the best part of the match. EASILY. I don't know for certain what year this was from but if I had to guess, I'd say early 1994 based on Hogan's hairline and general leatheriness. Not to mention the vaunted 24-inch pythons looking to be down at around 18. Hogan in Japan is really strange and needs to be seen, though. He works entirely differently. It's like he knows that he can't coast by quite as easily on his charisma, so he busts out more actual wrestling holds and stuff. It kind of reminds me of the match he had with Bret Hart on Nitro in 1998 that had Lee, Franz and I practically weeping as we realized that he could be having those kinds of matches with a lot of his opponents if he so chose. Unfortunately, Hawk is in this and as it's past 1990, he sucks. Having Hogan work 3/4 of the match when his partner is the Great Muta is kind of baffling, but maybe Muta is as lazy in his home country as Hogan is in his. Wouldn't that be a weird kind of symmetry? Nerdy fan boys such as myself got all fired up when Muta was in the US, while nerdy fan boys in Japan probably thought we were insane. For some reason, Hawk spends most of the match selling his eye. Yes, his eye. Anyway, that was a weird enough match to warrant this rant, I think.

-Speaking of the Hulkster, after I got home from seeing "Constantine" last night, I had a message on my answering machine. It was Hulk Hogan, cutting a promo on me, telling me to order Backlash. I don't argue with the ol' red and yellow.

-Okay, so maybe short takes wasn't the best way to classify these. A few were pretty lengthy. Anyway, there was no real unifying theme, so this is what ya get. Peace!