Livin' for Leap Day!

It is Leap Day, a day that comes just once every four years. It's like a presidential election, only without the emotional buildup and tragic letdown that those tend to bring about in this, the decade of the 2000s. I plan on celebrating Leap Day thusly... I will drink. I will drink long, and I will drink much. If you plan binges out in advance, that doesn't make you an alcoholic, right? If anything, I'd think it makes you not an alcoholic. So take that, conventional wisdom.



I opted out of work today on account of almost falling down a flight of stairs. I managed to grab the rail before I lost consciousness and then I came around a couple of steps down, still seated. It was weird. I took it as a sign that I shouldn't be running around town this morning.

Instead, I went across the street and watched the first disc of The Office Season Two with Lee and Lauren. I think Lee likes second season a lot more than he did the first season, which is completely understandable. Lauren largely hid her face in uncomfortable horror, also completely understandable.

My better half is likely en route to Chicago as I write this, as he heads to the City of Wind to visit his sister and (of course) catch a wacky show. He is Andrew Patton, and music is his anti-drug.

I had a fruity drink at the Cheesecake Factory last night. Meryl ordered something called a Georgia Peach, so I felt the need to top her by purchasing and consuming the CARIBBEAN COOLER. It was some sort of rum concoction, but you couldn't really taste rum in it. Bottom line: delicious. Also, $7.50. First and last time, sadly. Who does the Cheesecake Factory think I am? Some kind of Internet millionaire? Pish tosh.

Anyway, time to go get good and ripped. See you soon, blog nation!

The ol' leather pumpkin + fight picks

Semi-Pro doesn't look that good to me. I think it's time for Will Ferrell to find a new genre. This is the kind of insight you come here for, I know. A fantastic movie could be made out of the story of the ABA, and I'm guessing that this won't be it. There's even awesome source material in it in Terry Pluto's fabulous Loose Balls. I refuse to reword any of the preceding sentence. On the other hand, maybe if this movie does well there will be some Hollywood interest in making a more serious ABA film.


The fans demand Michael Gross as Rick Barry!

Speaking of fans demand, UFC is returning to Columbus on Saturday. Our fair hamlet still holds the company's attendance record (until May, when the show in Montreal breaks it), and this was the site where septuagenarian grappler Randy Couture won a five-round decision over giant lummox Tim Sylvia last March to win his second Heavyweight Championship. No fight that big on this lineup, but I'll do what I do and pick the top fights anyway.

UFC and Pride Middleweight Title unification bout: Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson: I've been going back and forth on this literally since the day it was signed, but I think I have to take Anderson Silva. Until I actually see someone beat him, I don't think I can pick against him. I'll go with Silva by a third round ref stoppage.

Heavyweight bout: Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo: Herring by knockout, second round. Just a feeling I have. I don't think he's shown his full potential yet in UFC.

And yeah, those are really the only fights on the main card that I care about. On the prelims however...

Welterweight bout: Luke Cummo vs. Luigi Fioravanti: OH SNAP, IT'S LUKE. Luigi's gonna wish he'd stayed in the Mushroom Kingdom by the time Ninja Nerd Extreme gets done with him!


He will not hesitate to drink his own urine to best you in combat.

I had totally forgotten Luke was fighting on this show. Now I wish I was going, because chances are it's not going to make the broadcast.

That's all for today, bur check in tomorrow afternoon for... I don't know, but probably something!

The content you've come to expect

I had a fairly long chat with friend of the blog Josh yesterday evening, the focus being zombies and the inevitability of their rampage over humanity. The conversation stemmed from a quaint little quiz located here. Try not to let its oversimplification of the ramifications of the Zombie Apocalypse turn you off.


I doubt it's going to be awesome and blocky like this.

Anyhow, Josh seemed more interested in mocking than learning, largely laughing off the possibility of flesh-craving reanimated corpses slouching about the landscape. While Abe's assertion that he knows more about zombies than me was aggravating, I find Josh's willful ignorance to be simply sad. Sure, perhaps we're not going to be visited by an undead plague of Romeroesque proportions (not that young Joshua would actually know anything about the zombies of those films), but as noted here more than two years ago, sometimes science goes way too far. It's a mere hop, skip, and jump before they've moved from electric shocks and dogs to chemical agents and not dogs, meaning ACTUAL PEOPLE. See, caps where appropriate. Work smart, folks.


Poor Flyboy. He had come so far.

Point is, I'm a repository of useful knowledge about this sort of thing, and while Josh could be improving his chances of surviving the End of Days by taking the very applicable information I have at my disposal, instead he thinks only of how "impossible" it all is. Impossible. I believe that will be the favored word of all human-flavored zombie chow when the time comes.


I don't think they're going to see Santa, y'all.

Don't even get me started on his thoughts where killer robots are concerned. We'll be here for days.


The lovely and talented Jenna Fischer makes her return to the blog after a week of inaction. Possibly holding a killer robot.

I Lost a Cool Point

And in doing so, I'm burnt. Woe is me.


YA BURNT!

I haven't watched RAW yet, but Floyd Mayweather is apparently going to wrestle The Big Show. Floyd Mayweather the boxer. Floyd Mayweather the 5'8", 147 pound boxer. Against the Big Show. The 7'0", 430 pound Big Show. Why? Why ever? It was originally planned to be a tag team match, but then Rey Mysterio got hurt. So why not just put other people in the match? Why put a man who's never had a professional wrestling match in his life in such a key position on your biggest show of the year? This is insanity. He's also rumored to be getting a TWENTY MILLION DOLLAR payoff for the match and his appearances leading up to it. I don't believe this for one second, but still. I'd believe five million. They paid Tyson almost four back in 1998, and he didn't even do a match. It's true that Floyd Mayweather was the biggest pay per view draw in the world in 2007, but why would boxing fans care that he's going to do a phony pro wrestling match? I don't necessarily think WWE is overestimating Mayweather's appeal, and I think that if he were going to be boxing Big Show in a sanctioned, real life fight (which no governing body would ever sanction given the discrepancy in size and experience between the two), there would be great interest. As it stands, (and again, I haven't yet watched RAW so it may be different now) however, this has disaster written all over it.

By the way, I'm so not burnt. Lost doesn't need ALL CAPS. Things like TWENTY MILLION DOLLAR and OUCH! STOP HITTING ME WITH A BAT require ALL CAPS. Not Lost. Not even The Office needs ALL CAPS. You're just being greedy, Meryl.

Prepare to awkwardly not comment on my mark. And... GO!

Sorry about the hiatus. Bit of a busy weekend with younglings running around underfoot, out of town visitations, and health related stressors. Blacking out and face planting on High Street was a bit of a wake up call (no pun intended), and I'm going to be jumping back on the diagnosis carousel starting tomorrow. It's been about five years since I've had any new tests done or anything, so maybe there are some advances in the field of syncopal episodes. Fingers crossed. It's been eight and a half years and I've been far too accepting of this as a normal part of my life recently. Time to do something.

Don't read too much into this next paragraph, huh? I'm just musing.

Relationships are complicated, huh? Every movie I've ever seen is a liar in one way or another. Some more than others, but they're all offenders. It would be nice if all it took was for two people to feel a feeling, ya feel me? This seems sudden, but I'm looking at relationships a little differently now than I have over the past few years. Maybe it's turning 25, which I realize doesn't exactly make me a senior citizen or anything. Still, I spent nearly four years going from one short-term entanglement to another, and I don't feel any better off for it, really. There are a lot of reasons I chose to live my love life that way, and none of them seem to make any sense in retrospect. I'm at a point in my life where I just want to stop and smell the roses for a while, and I think that's okay. I think that's what's going to make me happy, ultimately.

Did you know that Richard Wagner and Franz Kafka were both in love with their friend's wives? Wagner lived long enough to get over it, but poor Kafka probably died obsessed with Milena. Explains so much.

Well, I've done my part. Outtie 5k.

Running on Fumes

The Lakers and Suns did not disappoint. Thanks to Funky D for coming by and watching.


Sadly, Kobe Bryant could "see" Steve Nash and the rest of the Phoenix squad tonight, as he went for 41 points.

Huh. That may literally be all I have to say tonight. Slow goin' lately, folks.

I guess I should give you some kind of picture for your trouble, though. Here's Kurt Angle if he were a vampire.



Yep. That's what it is. Come on, what do you want? I've slept a grand total of ninety minutes in the past thirty-six hours. GOODNIGHT.


Vincent Kartheiser, six years later, still giggling about ruining Angel.

2X5 (I'm getting there)

Here are some things I'm looking forward to!

I'm going to watch the No Way Out show with Davekwon and Sorry Keith Jackson tonight.

Jason and Chops are both coming into town this weekend.

Shaq is playing his first game as a member of the Phoenix Suns tomorrow night against Kobe and the Lakers.

Lost is on Thursday. How I avoided watching this show for three years boggles my mind. It is quite addictive.

Hold on hope!


Just like a prayer.

Being Vague in a Public Forum

Imagine this. You do something, and you think you made the right decision. Upon reflection, you decide that perhaps you acted hastily, and wish to redress the situation. And then you find out that you were right in the first place, but not for the reasons you originally thought.

Talk about gobsmacked.

Doesn't really make me feel any better about things.

Why would I write about something on my own blog if I'm not going to get specific? You're askin' the wrong guy today, friend. I felt it, and I wrote it. Do with it what you will.

Dirtless in Detroit

Sad to miss out on the Dirtbombs release show last night in Detroit, but things happen. Hope the contingent enjoyed themselves all the same.

I was preparing for an easygoing kind of night, when to my surprise, Harris Trinsky arrived at my house from the past!



He wanted to play D&D and give me advice on my recent women troubles, two great tastes that taste great together. I laughed and pointed out to him that my women troubles are all day, every day, and nothing that could be solved with a little scented oil. I wasn't really in the mood for his falderal, and I summarily dismissed him. Before I could show him the door, however, I woke up. What a weird dream. However, it occurred to me... whatever happened to Stephen Lea Sheppard anyway? According to the internetz, he was in The Royal Tenenbaums, but I haven't seen him in anything since then. Apparently he's done some freelance work for White Wolf. This man needs a sitcom, STAT.

Speaking of Wes Anderson projects, I saw Vacancy yesterday evening, starring the enigmatic Luke Wilson, and the merely hot Kate Beckinsale. I watched this with Meryl, and we were both more or less pleased with the film, but came down on different sides on the Luke Wilson debate. Okay, it wasn't really a debate, but our opinions differed. She seems to think he's okay, pointing out the aforementioned Wes Anderson films he's appeared in. I just can't really decide how I feel about him. He's either a great bad actor or a really mediocre good actor.

There's this show that runs on Sundance called Slings & Arrows, and it's about a Canadian theater company (it originally aired on Canadian television). It's essentially a fictionalized version of the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. It's freakin' great, and I've seen it before, but they started re-airing it a couple of weeks ago, one episode a week. So I've got the first two episodes recorded thus far... OR SO I BELIEVED. As it turns out, I missed the first week, so we watched episode two last night, and it felt a little bit weird because I was pretty sure all the way through that I was watching the very first episode, but things seemed a little off. I've had this experience before, and it drives me insane. People tease me about my need to watch television shows in their intended order, but proper context is very important to me. It just is. I have no idea how I've managed to sanely pick up Lost four seasons in. I count it as a minor miracle.

Anyhow, point is, it's a great show, with a great cast headed up by the DUDE WHO PLAYED THE MOUNTIE ON DUE SOUTH. That should be enough right there. DUE SOUTH WAS AWESOME.



SLINGS & ARROWS, PEOPLE!

Win

This actually exists.

I can't even tell you how much this has improved my mood. I must have it.