Rambo is Stupider than Spiders

I was playing Rambo on the NES last night, and the colonel or general or whatever asked me at the beginning if I wanted to help him. Then I was given two options, one of which was to go fight, the other to stay in prison and chill. I picked the second one. The colonel guy then told me that I couldn't begin playing (totally breaking the fourth wall, by the way) unless I picked the first option. WHY? Why give me the options to begin with? WHAT DID THIS ACCOMPLISH? I think Seanbaby wrote something about this at some point regarding Phantasy Star something or other, but I can't find the article right now. Point is, this was not an isolated incident, and it's like game developers put the horse in front of the cart in terms of offering players "choices." Oh hey, I found the Seanbaby line. Turns out it was about Shining Force, not Phantasy Star. Whatever. Same thing.

"Sometimes video games ask you interactive yes or no questions. Don't be tricked by having two options. They're only teasing you with one of them. For example, in the game shown, Shining Force 2 (Sega Genesis), you often get asked things like, "Will you help the king?" If you answer NO, it'll say, "Oh, but you must!" If you answer NO again, it will say, "Oh, but you must!" This will go on until someone or something destroys the power lines outside your house. And don't think you can just kill the King to get him to shut up, there's no button for that."

I decided to make Seanbaby blue, probably because that's the way I feel when he doesn't update his site for nearly two years.

Holy yikes, I actually found the exact screen from Rambo that illustrates my hatred!



See? It tells you before you even answer! STUPID.