"Over Christmas, I saw a report in Star Magazine that I'm dating David Spade. Imagine my surprise as… I'VE NEVER MET David Spade! What a milestone! My first TOTALLY 100% UNTRUE tabloid report! I've always been very cynical when I hear celebrities say that a story is fake. I figure SOME part of every story must be true right? NO WAY! I have no idea how they are allowed to get away with stuff like that! My publicist said that no one ever called to check the facts of the David Spade story. Which seems strange to me. I have a minor in journalism and I was told to never run a story without 2 reliable sources to back it up. But, while we are on the subject, some other people I've never met are: Orlando Bloom, Colin Farrell, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Brad Pitt. Maybe I can fictionally date some of those guys too?"
Thank the Lord. Our long, blogtional nightmare is over.
ROFFLE NO.
In cringe-worthy film news, Face Full of Fulci took place last night, and it may very well have been proof of God Himself. After Amanda, Lucas, Andrew, Franz, Meryl, and myself slogged through Zombi II, The Beyond, and City of the Living Dead, I was beginning to feel depleted. Weary. In short, not wanting to subject myself to Zombi III at that late hour. But we had all made a committment to face the evil together, so I opened the case, and... EMPTY. Jesus loves me, this I know. Thanks to everyone for getting together, and big thanks to Lucas and Amanda for hosting the evening. I had a very nice time and hope to do it again with some slightly better viewing fare.
Until next time, I'm outtie 5k. PEACE.
6 comments:
Well, the world is right again. You still have a SHOT! lozzle
I had heard at some point during the past week that Spade had been linked to Jennifer Aniston. Maybe his agent is working a little overtime?
Was Jenna not enough? He's gotta haunt the ghosts of sitcoms past to raise my ire?
quote jenna: "But, while we are on the subject, some other people I've never met are: Orlando Bloom, Colin Farrell, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Brad Pitt. Maybe I can fictionally date some of those guys too?" Legolas? Fail, Jenna, fail. You gotta coat her with your Napier-mache before her tabloid-imagined rendezvous with the pretty-boy elf becomes grim reality.
Napier-mache? Kehn is the only possibility, I imagine.
ya, t'was me, forgot to sign.
[kehnonymous]
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