Vengeance Is Mine

RAW's Vengeance pay per view is coming up tomorrow. I'll be hosting, so I thought it might be nice to do a preview of sorts to fill in those attending on just what they'll be seeing. The undercard is actually fairly deep on this show, but there are a couple of throwaway matches. Such as...

Umaga versus Eugene!



The retard has been doomed since summer of 2004, and they're pushing Samoa Jim pretty hard right now. Umaga has been a lot of fun to watch lately, but mostly because he's been throwing around 160 pound jobbers. I don't expect much out of this one.

Kane versus... IMPOSTOR KANE~!

Oh yes, you read that correctly. Believe it or not, this was a feud that was originally planned to extend all the way to Wrestlemania, but then someone actually saw it in action and they're going ot blow it off after three weeks instead. Thank God.


An easy ***** encounter.


And here begins the good stuff.

Intercontinental Championship: Shelton Benjamin (c) versus Carlito versus Johnny Nitro



This should be alright. Shelton is really miscast as a heel, because his strength is his ridiculous athleticism which lends itself more to babyface highspots, but I'm sure this will just be more or less a spotfest anyway, so it'll work out for him.



Ol' Tough Enough III John should be able to keep up in the athleticism department, and he and Melina have one of the finest wrestling entrances ever, so that's good.



As for Carlito... well, he can't really do much of anything. He throws shitty punches and does wacky springboards for no reason. Still, it's going to be a spotfest, so I'm sure the other two will force him to up the ante a little bit.

Best of Three Falls: Ric Flair versus Mick Foley



This match is apparently based on Foley being a shitty technical wrestler and wanting to prove something to Ric Flair. It's one of those worked shoot deals that always drew so much money for Vince Russo and WCW. That said, I think Foley really is paranoid about how Flair regards him as a worker, and he'll be motivated to tear the house down.



Flair would never sandbag a match, so he'll keep up his end. I hope they do a long one. I hate 2/3 matches where they race through the first two falls and then do an extended third fall. It just shits all over the stipulation.

Sabu versus John Cena



People on the writing team and in management who want the ECW project to fail keep on putting Sabu out there on live TV and having him do crazy shit, hoping like Hell that he'll blow a spot. Well, he hasn't yet, and it's just getting him over.



These two had an expectation exceeding match at the WWE/ECW supershow in Dayton, and on pay per view, I have every reason to believe that they'll do even better.

Randy Orton versus Kurt Angle



Ever since Randy got suspended, he's been working harder than anyone in the company to make himself indispensable. He was on the cusp of being downsized, and he knows it. He's one of the top 10 workers in the company right now, and his opponent is no slouch either.



Kurt had a bit of an adjustment period in January when he started working a safer, less bump heavy style, and his matches suffered for a little while. Fortunately, he's a mutant, so he adapted very quickly and is pretty much back to his old self. He's even using a much more amateur-influenced style, with half nelson takeovers and constant double leg shoots. These two had a good match at the Hammerstein Ballroom before a tough crowd. They should steal the show in front of a bunch of North Carolinians who grew up on Flair and Steamboat.

WWE Championship: Rob Van Dam (c) versus Edge



If you haven't been watching or paying attention to wrestling lately, it may shock you that Rob Van Dam did in fact finally win the WWE Championship. It will however, NOT shock you that the title immediately became the secondary issue of the very first ppv he defends on. No matter, because Rob has looked more fired up and motivated than he has since he was first squashed by Hunter almost four years ago.



And lucky for him, he's in there with the guy who may just be the finest heel of this generation. Much edgier (no pun intended) than Hunter, and with more varied offense than Orton, Edge is THE man right now, and may his second reign be longer lived than his first.

MAIN EVENT: Degeneration X versus THE SPIRIT SQUAD~!

If you had told me a year ago that a RAW ppv would be headlined by two forty year old teenagers against five cheerleaders I would have said, "Yeah, that sounds about right."


They're no Dudes With Attitudes. Shawn needs to lay off his wife's tanktops, too.


I was just starting to watch wrestling again when DX first formed, back in the fall of 1997. Triple H was in his late 20s, Shawn Michaels in his mid early 30s, and it was SO GAY. But they were awesome. I was a huge Shawn Michaels fan at that point. In fact, at my 15th birthday party, I was so excited by a Shawn Michaels victory over the Undertaker that I did crotch chops until I bruised my pelvis. Lee and Dave were there. They know. But it's 2006. Shawn is a 40 year old born again Christian, and Hunter has spent so much time on the gas that he resembles an unfrozen caveman more than a Greenwich Blueblood. It doesn't matter. These men are still damn entertaining in these roles, and will probably continue to be for a few more weeks at least. It is, after all, a nostalgia act. Even Keith will tire of it at some point. Cody has already had it, and he's as gay for Shawn as anyone I know.

Their opponents...



Do I really need to sell anybody on the Spirit Squad? REALLY!? Okay, if you haven't seen them, or aren't really familiar with them... they're EVIL cheerleaders. They cheat a lot, and they dance when things go well for them. They are FANTASTIC. It's the five of them versus just the two DX members, so look for wacky team up spots.

I am VERY excited, and I haven't been excited about many ppvs lately.

Anyhow, 8 o'clock, be there or be square.

VENGEANCE IS MINE~!