Just When I Thought It Was Gonna Be A Slow Day... CHYNA-PAC BRING THE CRAZY!

Okay, so Joani (Chyna) Laurer was on Howard Stern's show yesterday morning. I didn't hear it, but after reading a couple of transcripts, these are the finer points:

-Joa... fuck it, CHYNA had an injured hand which she said she hurt training, which later became cooking.

-Chyna's being sued over a bunch of stuff and she's got this boyfriend (X-Pac) who she has to break up with because he mistreats her.

-She's been fighting lions and tigers in Japan.

-Chyna referred to Triple H as Triple Ass every time his name was brought up, and she pointed to his marriage to Stephanie McMahon as the point where her life really started to go to Hell (Is she confusing storyline with reality? Because she's been a mess for a while now, and Hunter and Steph only got married for real in October).

-Chyna revealed that she has a film of her and X-Pac making the beast with two backs and is considering RELEASING IT. (YARGH!)

-Chyna was in New York to judge a Most Beautiful Transsexual Pageant. (So... many... jokes... must... mock... Chyna... can't... pick... only thirty...)

-Chyna outed X-Pac about his current stay in a drug rehabilitation center, apparently being funded out of pocket by Triple H and Vince McMahon.

Okay, so if all of this isn't CRAZY ENOUGH... X-Pac was all, "Hey, I kind of know how to type! I better voice My (He's big on the capitalization) opinion:

From his message board:

I know I said I would not post on hwere anymore however I just learned of Joanie's comments on Stern.
 
I can only say that I am deeply hurt by what she said about my Me as far as the status of our relationship and about where I am at the present time. I love her more than anything in this world & I have never given up hope that one day we could find happiness. I recognize My part in what has gone wrong in our relationship. I wish I could change the past. I can only work towards the future. I will say that I think it was wrong of Joanie to publicize the fact that I am in treatment at this time. I am in no way ashamed of being here. Paul Levesque & Vince McMahon care about Me enough that they have paid for Me to be here at Talbott Recovery Campus in Atlanta, Georgia which is the best drug treatment center in the country. I have not worked for WWE in 2 years so the company can't pay for it , thus they are paying for it out of their own pocket. This they are doing for Me with no expectation that I will actually return to the ring.
 
I have commented on my relationship with Joanie in the past on here, but I will not respond to what she said about Me being a "druggie" other than the fact that I need to be where I am right now in order to be able to make her happy and also provide for my children. I am no longer married, but I still have two beautiful children that I love dearly. I need to be able to provide for them. I need to be able to provide for Joanie. Most of all, I need to be able to feel good about myself again. I love Joanie Laurer more than life itself. I can't express in words how much I hurt right now after learning of her comments on Howard Stern this morning. I am not angry. I only want to make her happy. As far as the this sex tape is concerned. I personally could care less if people see the tape in question. It is something I refuse to be ashamed of. It is actually very funny & in no way obscene. It is something I could never be ashamed of because it is a product of true love. So if anyone has a problem with it then I can only say that is their problem. I LOVE YOU JOANIE & I WILL UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. I will never give up on you.
 
Sean Waltman

Just... wow. Fuckin' WOW. I kind of want them back on TV all of a sudden.