It was a Rawed Out Posse

 
 
What Worked
 
Havong a crew over worked like a MOTHERFUCK. Jason, Keith, and Kehn (in order of arrival) lightened up the proceedings considerably and we went on to have a pretty darn good time.
 
Goddamn does Regal fucking rule. He's always had great punches, but the hand speed was incredible. He looked like a pasty British Julio Cesar Chavez, just strafing Helsmley with combos. Regal is the only guy who has the acting chops to pull off the gimmick he has been given too. When Regal took off his coat I got goosebumps. Helmsley should have bladed. Hell, Regal should have started headbutting him, fuck a blade.
 
Man, Batisita comes off like a worldbeater in his hometown. He couldn't have been more over if he came out with the Backyard Band seconding him (plus Big G would make him look short). He really had a mid 90's Vader feel in a way the WWE has never really been able to pull off before. He comes off like way more of a badass then Kane, who is booked in the same role. Match with Beniot was a blast, and I would really like to see those two go 60 instead of Benoit and Helmsley. I thought the match could of gone longer. Didn't like Hebner's tough guy schtick that foreshadowed the finish. Took a bit to get going as the early parts didn't feel as good as Benoit vs. Enos back in the day. They seemed like they were trying to work both the "face dominates" and "Batista as monster" stuff at the same time and it just didn't click for while. Then both guys took it to the streets and Batista did his tribute to Fit Finlay's fist to the ringpost on the floor spot and then followed it up with the great posting of Benoit. Both of these guys know how to take brawl and I would dig a falls count anywhere match between the two. From there on that match was on fire.
 
Kane looked kind of tentative and crappy, but the match was good enough to squeak in the what worked category. Jericho is a fine Tommy Dreamer, but Kane is a really subpar Brian Lee. I did really like the finish though. BATISTA BITCHES. Why do they insist on running this match again and again, though? The first part of match was infinitely better than last weeks match-up. Kane looked awful but Jericho had his shit together and it came together. They restarted and I cringed. Man, I've seen these two against each other 1,812 times, I need to see it twice in one night? But fuck, it was actively good. I liked this alot more than the rest of the guys I think. WWE/F has done alot of fake Dreamer/Lee matches. This was easily the best.
 
Orton and Edge clearly got ahold of Pro Wrestling NOAH's Tokyo Dome show. (I GOT MINE!) because they were working Akiyama vs. Kobashi for some reason. You had your meaningless mat work, your early subsequently ignored bodypart work, forearm exchanges, nasty ring apron and barrier spots, and then some finishers getting kicked out of. This match had more selling then Kobashi vs. Akyama though, and a nicely placed ref bump, which the NOAH match could have used. NOAH doesn't really need ref bumps, though. They just need more schtick. You watch Kobashi vs. Misawa from Budokan last year, and after the mat work but before the big apron spot it's like they don't know what to do, so they just do meaningless suplexes. They need to learn some comedy spots. The match would be so much better if they knew how to call time out like Arn Anderson or do midget comedy spots. Misawa and Kobashi never developed any midget comedy spots to work into their matches. Because screw Bret, that's what keeps Kobashi and Misawa from being as great as Flair. Oh yeah, I liked Edge vs. Randy Orton too, but kept thinking for a Canadian vs. an Orton this wasn't as good as any of the Cowboy's matches with Ronnie Garvin.
 
What Didn't Work
 
I don't care how much they pimp it, because I remember the last time a Clique member had an iron man match with a Canadian. Luger used to talk about things making him "sick to his stomach" alot. He seemed to always work something about his gastro-conditioning into all his mic work. He never really had a catchphrase but he had that leight motif. Helmsley jacks it but Helmsley doesn't have Luger's abs. Instead, we have 15 minutes of Helmsley rubbing his belly like me in anticipation of barbecue. Helmsley really needs to avoid touching his belly during mic work. I buy a guy that fat having gas though. I don't really buy a guy that fat doing 60 minutes of anything but watching TV.
 
The Divas stuff is death. I remember when WWF used to use a hard mat. Ten divas bouncing around in the ring and you realized that they were on an ECW fricking trampoline. Changed the mat but not the ring style, what a bunch of dumb asses. Plus people shit on Bischoff's acting all the time and he's been written really poor material but damn he may be the only guy they have who could possibly work with ad-libbing strippers. I hope they were ad-libbing; otherwise, compared to Diva contestant acting, that Matt/Lita scene was like Cassavetes and Julianne Moore doing Tennesse Williams. I was also amused at the DC audience starting "Goldberg" chants during backstage segments. Old WCW territory audience knows exactly what to do during Nitro girls skits. I do like Coach telling the Divas to turn around as a shoutout to the D.C. audience, but those were some flat asses for the District. No wonder they had to de-mike the booing crowd. None of those blondes was fat enough for a D.C. crowd to want to fuck.
 
Who layed out tonights show? Up to main event it was all about big guy/lil guy matches. You run Grenier/Tajiri, Tomko/Shane Helms, Batista/Benoit, and Jericho/Kane all in a row and each loses some of its impact. God were the first two of those matches unwatchable. I feel sorry for Jim Cornette. I mean, you watch those matches and it really looks like any minute Tomko and Grenier are going to get sent back for him to have to deal with. Poor guy had to release Trailer Park Trash and Flash Flannagan and got stuck working with Mordecai and Tomko for years now. Johnny Cash is dead and Jay Z is retired, what else is Rick Rubin going to do with his time now... give Corny some money. Trailer Park Trash is just sitting around Scotland doing nothing.