Not even THESE can bless this "House"

You know, I may be opening a huge can of worms with this statement, but I don't think I've ever seen a less scary "horror" movie than "House of the Dead". That didn't stop Ashley from wanting me to go outside with her when she smoked because we had just "watched a zawmbie movie". I think all in all that Holywood just needs to realize that video games aren't movies. And failing that, they need to realize that it's a really terrible idea to intercut game footage from said video game INTO your movies. Also, when zombies movies suck, it usually gives me an opportunity to root for the zombies to kill the humans. In this case, I just wanted a bomb dropped on the stupid raver island. Early on, it seems like there might be enough boobs and !~Clint Howard~! to elevate this to so-bad-it's-good territory, but even that is too lofty a goal for "House of the Dead". It really feels at times that after terrorizing some high school, actual zombies, with their severely limited cognitive faculties, found the equipment closet of the AV Club and decided to make a movie. Seriously, this thing was like, sub-third string Troma release. Luckily, the upcoming Twyman epic, "Dead of the Dead" will save us all.

On a happier note, after consulting IMDB, I was reminded that I need to see "In the Mouth of Madness" again, just because the man who portrayed Sutter Kane AND the skipper of "Das Boot" deserves better than to be remembered as a secondary cast member of this horrible thing. JÙrgen Prochnow is still a stupid name, though.

I'm not sure what next week's film will be; I'm leaning towards "In the Mouth of Madness" or "Versus", if I get out to buy it.
________________________________________________________________________________
KEHN: DON'T READ THIS SECTION! LAST WARNING!

The "Angel" finale was awesome on nearly every count. It suffered from the fairly common Whedon problem of getting his shows going in the first ten-fifteen minutes, but after that it soared. From Lindsey's indignation at being killed by Lorne ("You kill me!? NO! Angel kills me!"), to Lorne himself giving up the good fight, to Spike's poem about Cecily FINALLY going over, I loved this episode. Upon further reflection, I don't even hate the ending. I didn't really like it, but it encompassed the spirit of the series; the fight goes on. I'm looking forward to the comics that will continue the Whedon-verse.
________________________________________________________________________________

I don't watch "Smackdown" anymore, so no WORKRATE REPORT FOR YOU! The main problem is that it's not even really BAD, like RAW was in 2002. It's just soooooo boring. I can suffer bad wrestling with ease. Sometimes I even relish it. But there's nothing I hate more than being bored by wrestling. And with the way RAW is clicking on almost every cylinder lately, that's more than enough of a US wrestling fix for me. Besides, with what I'll save on Smackdown pay per views, I can import ten extra tapes this year. I wish I had decided this much earlier so that I could have caught more of the "Friends" season. Somebody wake me when Brock comes back.
________________________________________________________________________________

Kehn calling me and pretending to be Cody was kind of funny the first time. Yesterday it was just awkward and un-segueable. Thanks a lot, Kehn.
________________________________________________________________________________
Good luck to my boys in Indiana, may you get all five rings or something.
________________________________________________________________________________
On that super geeked out note, holla atcha boy and PEACE.