You know it's a par-tay night when you wake up in the morning and can't find one of your socks.

*Pre update note: Tonight will be the third "B-Movies and Beer" night, and we're not exactly sure what we're going to watch yet, but it's certain to be pretty awful. We're planning on starting at about ten o'clock, so those interested should be at my house (2262 North 4th Street) at that time.*

Tuesday night was kind of interesting. What began as a plan hatched by Ashley and me to enhance our enjoyment of "Spinal Tap", ended with neither of us seeing the movie and instead laying on Kendall's front porch, wasted and muttering nonsense.

We picked up a 12 pack of PBR and a bottle of wine to supplement the three Molson Canadians we were already in possession of. After a while of the three of us (Kendall, Ashley, myself) drinking out on the porch, Franz joined us, followed soon after by Lucas. The five of us partied and freaked out for a couple of hours, at which point Ashley decided that we were no longer going to Studio 35. Instead, we would just stay at Kendall's and continue down the path of excess (I have almost zero say in my friendship with Ashley).

After calling up Designated Driver Man Kehn Yeung and telling him of our adjusted plans, he appeared with a batch of homemade cookies. They were yummy. Our final contestant of the evening was party girl Cynthia, who actually wanted to see "Spinal Tap". So Franz fetched his VHS and Kehn, Cynthia, Kendall, Franz, and ME settled down to watch the movie.

Keith arrived home from wherever he was about fifteen minutes in, and Franz and I could have made some fat bankroll if we had set up official betting on what his level of interaction with the rest of us would be before heading off to bed ("Hey").

I soon grew restless, a side effect of being all krunked and stuff, so I joined Ashley and Lucas on the porch. For the next hour and a half absolutely nothing of note or value was uttered. There was contant chatter, but I swear to God that I've never had a less productive or memorable conversation. We were all well beyond the "philosophical drunk" line, that's for sure.

After the movie ended and everyone was kicked out of Kendall's home, Ashley and I went back with Franz and Lucas, where (minus Franz) we slept on the posh new couches. Big step up in sleepy time comfort from the old set.

Anyway, that was Tuesday night.

Onto what I remember of my dreams last night.

Okay, I was at this movie theater watching the new "Dawn of the Dead", but there were tons of scenes that I didn't remember from the movie the first three times I had seen it. It seemed like there weren't too many zombies left by the end, and I was starting to get bored with it. So I left the theater and wandered down a hallway where these three people in a dorm room were having a party. So, I came in, and there's this smokin' hot chick there. I'm all, "DAMN, BABY", and she seemed pretty receptive, but she wanted me to become a zombpire first. At least, I figure that's what they all were. They ate human flesh, but they were intelligent, and could fly, but they could also go out in the sun. Wait, no... they could only go out in the sun after committing a certain amount of sins. Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up.

So, one of her friends bit me, and I wasn't sure if it worked or not at first. But then I was in the car with my parents on a road trip and I got hungry. So I went into a gas station and bought a bunch of junk food. It just made me sick. That's when I figured that it must have worked, and I needed to eat human flesh.

Then came a kind of offshoot dream about visiting my grandfather and talking to him about how he wanted to install a great big window in his new house so he could grow a tree indoors. Okay, so the less said about that the better. Back to the zombpires.

After I figured out I needed human flesh to satisfy my hunger, I was good to go. But I didn't really eat many people. In fact, me and my zombpire buddies (Johnny Depp and the hot chick from earlier) just harrassed a convenience store full of humans for a while (including Fazion 'Big Worm' Love of "Friday" fame!) until some new guy showed up. He was a zombpire too, but he was all delicate and flowery. He wore a cape and really liked to play golf with pool cues. Seriously, golf with pool cues.

So, this straight up queah zombpire took Johnny and Hot Girl and me to this compound where there were other zombpires living. Kind of a zombpire habitat. He made up all play his stupid billiards golf, too. Finally, after many weeks, I got tired of his leadership and challenged him. It was going to be awesome. The Hot Girl and I were going to rule over the zombpires together (Johnny Depp had been destroyed by the sun due to his low sin count), and everything was going to be okay.

Pool cues in hand, fancy-shmancy precious zombpire and I prepared to do battle. He looked at me with hatred and his eyes and said,

"I'll give you a lift to class if you want. Don't forget to print your paper."

I'm never going to dream about zombpires again. Damn it, dad.