SIMBA! Where's your head!?

I already forget the name of the group Andrew and I saw tonight, so I'll just call them "Half of Trailer Park Ninjas". They gave perhaps the greatest stage performance ever, though. EV-AR. They did a "Cock Mobster" styled song about fucking Hollywood ladies, and then did a song about killing all of the Earth's precious, precious animals while the DJ ran around Andyman's Tree House tearing the heads from stuffed animals. KING SIZED.

EDIT: I remember the name of the group now: "Wicked Long and Wookalar"

Okay, fuck that shit. I know why you're here. DRUNKEN SMACKDOWN RAMBLINGS!

Brock destroying Billy Gunn was fucking sweet. Billy was as game as I've ever seen him, bumping big time for everything Brock threw at him. And his punches only sucked half the time, so it was a good match.

Kurt Angle coming out to explain himself might have been the greatest thing of all time. Double J getting caught up in it was the second greatest. IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO! HE ATTACKED HIM FOR YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL JERKS! HE ATTACKED EDDY 4 AMERICA! He IS a drug addict! He DOES tell CHILDREN that it's cool to lie, cheat and steal! KURT'S RIGHT! IT'S NOT COOL! AMERICA WAS BUILT ON MORALS AND CHARACTER! FUCK YEAH! THANK YOU, KURT, FOR SACRIFICING FOR OUR CHILDREN. AND OUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN! KURT IS RIGHT! EDDY DOESN'T HAVE A CLEAR CONSCIENCE! DRUG ADDICTS ARE THE LAST PEOPLE WE NEED TO REPRESENT US!!! This was so fucking great. Jesus Christ, did I miss evil Kurt Angle. God, there really is no better heel. Really. "I prayed over it". Such a great fucking heel. Smackdown is fucking Godlike now. One day? Fuck that, I thank you RIGHT NOW, Kurt Angle. You light up my life. You give me hope. To carry on. Smackdown is quality professional wrestling. The Passion of the Eddy Guerrerro is a story I will watch every week. Angle is motherfucking Wrestling Heel GOD. A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING GOD.

Okay, sorry. But this feud is absolutely perfect. And the amazing part is, you just know the match is going to totally live up to the hype.

Those skinny bitches on America's Top Model weren't slobbering on Dirty's knob so I'm not watching. Though I'm guessing Dave will watch just out of love of ODB possibly putting his stank on some white girls with eating disorders. Keith will also watch, but that's because he LIKES that show.

I don't understand advertising condoms on a wrestling show. Wrestling fans are a) not getting any because they're big fucking dweebs, or b) hardcore rednecks who would rather stab you in the neck with a butterfly knife than not ride that shit bareback. There are exceptions to both rules of course, but not enough to create a viable demographic. I'm just sayin' is all.

Everybody drink a Colt 45 to Eddy's recovery! Here here!

Angel was alrightish tonight, although it had a tough act to follow after last week. Spike can go straight to Hell for being such a pussy, but at least Fred is getting closer to dead.

Remember Drop Dead Fred? That was a fuckin' movie, right there.