RAW is War is LIFE... IN A BUN

What Worked

So I'm watching Val Venis vs. Tomko on heat and really digging it a ton, as oddly Venis is as tall as Tomko and the two had a nice "two big guys" slugfest. Last week I wrote about how I really liked Batista's monster work but wanted to see him in a "two big guys" slugfest kind of match. I wanted to see if he could do it. My complaint about Edge in the past has been that he works like a wrestler a foot shorter than him. Edge is legit tall, but he works like Spike Dudley, an underdog who takes a beating and then has lots of big spots he can hit out of nowhere. Lately, Edge has been stepping up and working a little more like a dominant tall guy... maybe it's just the forearms. Opening section of this match left me still unsure of both guys as it didn't feel as good as Venis/Tomko. But then it just really came together. I really like the way Batista sells. I liked the crumple sell for the leg lariat, loved the way he took the impaler, was amused by his Adrian Adonis style bump from being dropped accross top rope, and also dug his fatigue sell after the Demon Bomb. Has Edge always had a missile drop kick that good?

Tomko can't execute anything during run-ins, but is actually kind of fine in the ring. Takes a nice couple of in-ring bumps, and jacks Al Green's back elbows in the corner, plus he actually hits his finisher. Not as good as his shockingly great Heat match, but fine stuff. Also, he has one of the best fist drops I've ever seen. Like, Dibiase level good.

People talking to me today who saw Vengeance were pimping Rhyno's Gore as being better than Edge's spear. FOOLS. I really dug Conway bumping like freak to get over Rhyno's stuff. He even made the GOAR look decent. Conway is the first guy in recent memory on a show with Flair to take a high backdrop better then Flair.

And speaking of which, damn Flair vs. Helms was great. This totally makes me want to go to Bash at the Beach to see the NWA title match this sets up. Oh, wait. :( Flair kind of punishes Helms in a very dickish way in the beginning, and then makes Helms look really strong, before beating him. Helms looked super in this too, especially the way he took Flair's chop blocks. I was expecting this to be run as a really mediocre Flair vs. Robert Gibson (yeah, Helms is a lot better than Gibson but you know what I mean) style, with Flair just too old to work that match well. Instead this was worked like a really great Flair vs. Eaton (yeah, Helms is better than that too, but you know). This beats out the Edge vs. Batista match as match of show because the Edge one took too long to get going.

Eugene's German Suplexes and crossface looked really good, but there were innumerable problems with this match. Nice blade job though. You'd think for Benoit working a "I don't want to hurt you" match, they would have started with some matwork where he's working for pinfalls or something, but no. I didn't like the match. Liked Regal's run in, though.


What Didn't Work

Man is the the Diva search stuff punishing. The first two girls' on air presence was terrible, as they both had sort of a nervous shout going on. The Korean girl who went second was kind of cute in a "now that I am relaxed, here is $20 to finish me off" way. The Playboy model was the only one who had any poise, plus she was carny enough to cock tease the King, but this is clearly a way to create new girls for them to pimp to Playboy and take 60% of the money. Hef already has shots of this girls pink, so she clearly isn't going to win.

Maybe it's that I had just watched the absolutely horrible acting in the Evolution locker room, or that I listened to some diva contestant whose delivery was horrible, or maybe it was the absolute shittiness of Kane's reaction shot huffing and puffing... but I thought that Lita's acting and delivery were really good tonight. She seemed like she almost was able to turn this into the kind of really fun redneck angle that Lee would book if he had been running Georgia in the '80s. Unfortunately, Kane's acting stank and instead of working ugly asshole truck dipatcher, he's working "Pontiff of Perversity". Last week, Lawler refered to the no holds barred match as being a "Baby's Daddy" match. It would have ruled if they worked it like a New Jack match with "who dat is? dat's just my baby's daddy" played for the whole match instead of "Natural Born Killers". That only works if it's a a match between a truck dispatcher and a guy who sells airbrushed T-shirts at the fair. For a minute there, Lita made me believe that I was watching that angle. Then Kane got all demonic with his mic work, puffed his cheeks and fucked it up. I don't understand why they're doing the Kane as horror movie evil schtick when it kills the ability of anyone to have a meaningful storyline when they work him.

Christ. Jericho and Kane had that 6 month feud over spilt latte's, they can't put together a 7 minute TV match. Holy crap did this match suck ass. I mean, just ass. Neither guy seemed to be on same page. Made me nostalgic for the Kane/X-pac series. They do a drop neck across the top rope spot, which they had done in almost every match on the show and it didn't look as good as when Tomko did it.

That's just SAD.