DC (not comics, boy!)

That's right. It's blog entry 600 over here at the International House of Space Monsters and Waffles! What better way to mark the occasion than with an anecdote!?

Funky D called me last night at 3am, from New York, New York of all places.


It's a terrible town, the sky is brown and the water is brown!

Anyway, he called me from Vegas, and after sharing a couple tawdry details, we had the following exchange.

Funky D: What are you up to?

Me: Me? Sleeping.

Funky D: Oh... my bad.

Me: It's okay.

(silence, but not an awkward one because we don't really have those)

Funky D: Vegas, baby!

Me: Mmhmm.

Funky D: Goodnight!

TaaaaaaaDaaaaaaaaa!

Good news is, I was sleeping. By 3 am! This is seriously like some kind of record, at least lately. Thank Christ. I was starting to pull my hair out with this insomnia bullshit.

At Rest

Thanks to Uncle Adam for getting me out of the house last night, even if it was only down the street. I feel like I did nothing but bitch for two and a half hours, but I guess I needed to.

Oh, and I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night. I don't know if that piece of it is behind me, or if two restful hours in the past fifty-five or so just caused my body to shut down. Short term, I'll take it either way. I feel somewhat sane again.


Plum tuckered out

SUCCESS

I SLEPT FOR TWO HOURS EARLIER THIS MORNING~!

I'm the best... around! Nothing's ever gonna keep me down!

Voiding my warranty

My sleek, silver PS2 controller was rattling. Not only was it annoying, it was causing the R2 button to become jammed, thus messing up the timing of my ***** center's 14 blocks per game average on College Hoops 2K5. With the NCAA tournament just around the corner, this was a thing that could not be. So today I took a wee Phillips-head screwdriver and opened the coltroller up. I cleared the obstruction (a small piece of plastic had chipped off the inner casing) and sewed her shut. Now... neither back shoulder buttons work at all. I think I made a poor choice.

It Wasn't a Good Day

This was kind of like the antithesis of last Thursday, and we're only at 5:45. I just had to cancel plans I've been looking forward to all week, and in the words of Lex Luger, I'M PISSED NOW. This beta blocker thingy = NOT WORKING.

In other news, I watched half of Zombie Strippers with Davekwon last night. Then we stopped watching Zombie Strippers and watched all of Return of the Living Dead, an actual awesome zombie movie. That's pretty much all that needs to be said on the matter. DON'T SEE ZOMBIE STRIPPERS.

I haven't slept in 32 hours. Hopefully I can tonight.

I just needed to bitch for a while.

Why We Bro: Part 1

A mere week out from Broin' Down 12: Cinco de MayBRO, it's time to examine (with as little depth as possible) what it means to be a bro. Today... beer.


Glorious.

Calling All Bros

Early reminder that next Tuesday, May 13th, is Broin' Down 12: Cinco de MayBRO. That's right... TWELVE. An entire calendar's worth of second Tuesdays, and as it stands, I am sadly the only person to participate in every one of them. I believe Adam and Andrew are tied with 10, but I haven't kept meticulous records or anything.

Now, I don't in my wildest dreams expect to see 12 bros next Tuesday (we couldn't even muster 8 in January), but a strong turnout would be swell. Broin' Down virgins such as Lee are encouraged to at least make an appearance for this momentous occasion. Also, it's about a four minute walk from your house. Seriously now.

My low end projection is 7, so let's ANNIHILATE that figure. All in together now!

THE RAVEN EFFECT: A Double Edged Sword

I was at BW3s yesterday evening with Annie and Adam, picking up a takeout order, when I began to feel THE RAVEN EFFECT coming on. It was pretty crowded in the lobby, with no free seats on the glossy wooden benches, so I excused myself to the Men's room. My plan was to seek refuge in a stall and wait for THE RAVEN EFFECT to do its evil work and then pass. Unfortunately, there's just one stall in the downstairs Men's room, and it was occupied. So I kind of leaned against a wall and prepared myself for whatever was to come. At this point, another man entered the room, looked at me kind of funny, and then headed for a urinal. I felt it incumbent upon me to let him know what may or may not go down in the next few seconds.

Me: Hey, just so you know, I might pass out in a second here. Don't worry about it. It happens.

Him: (annoyed) Whatever, dude. OD on your own time.

I didn't pass out, but I wish I had, because the next minute or so, silently waiting for him to finish peeing and then wash his hands, were excruciating. That's the dirty little secret of THE RAVEN EFFECT: when it's not dropping you head first on concrete, it's making you a social retard.

It Was All a Dream

But a lovely dream. I had a very nice day yesterday. I didn't pass out for the first time in months, I felt fine at work, and I even got to sleep without much hassle. Back to normal today, but I really can't be too angry. Yesterday was a wonderful gift. As I've mentioned before, I'm all about the upside.

I've always got time to hate

Philosophically, I don't really have a problem with white people celebrating Cinco De Mayo, or non-Irish people celebrating St. Patrick's Day, etc. As long as they admit right up front that it's a thin excuse to get hammered, that's totally fine. However, there's this radio commercial that's been running on 1460 the past few days that just infuriates me. A Corona ad featuring a couple of gringos planning their big Cinco De Mayo bash. It makes me want to throw things. I don't even know why I care, but it really grates my cheese. I like Corona though. Go figure.


DORKS